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Paradelle of the Deeper Knight (1 Viewer)

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Paradelle of the Deeper Knight

Utterance is all and every, loch and vale drowned
Utterance is all and every, loch and vale drowned
Dark has come and with it the Dread Bear found
dark has come and with it the Dread Bear found
Dark Utterance with every loch and vale drowned
Utterance, the Dread Dark Bear, it has been found

Starlight quashed, echoes of the Ripple Gannet’s cry
starlight quashed, echoes of the Ripple Gannet’s cry
Battle standard raised on the Gibbous Stair, socks fly
battle standard raised on the Gibbous Stair, socks fly
Echoes of the Ripple Gannet’s cry, a battle standard
quashed on the Gibbous Stair, Starlight Socks fly—

Obsidian plinth above the seethe of tenebrous roil
obsidian plinth above the seethe of tenebrous roil
Deeper dark cut by volcanic glass, hope recoiled
deeper dark cut by volcanic glass, hope recoiled
Volcanic glass, obsidian plinth cut tenebrous roil.
Seethe, Deeper, Hope at Tenebrous, Dark recoiled

Dark Utterance, echoes of the Ripple Gannet’s cry
with every loch and vale drowned, the battle standard
has been found, obsidian plinth on the Gibbous Stair
quashed by tenebrous roil, volcanic glass, dark seethe
cuts deeper, Deeper, Hope at Tenebrous, Dark recoiled
Battle standard Starlight Socks fly, Dread Bear found.
 

LoveofWriting

Senior Member
I don't know about you but this poem is hypnotic (in a good way) I find the repetitions to be bothersome though, I just don't like it because it gets annoying at times. I was expecting something fresh and new but your poetry is always the same. I always see some kind of recurring theme in your work, the fantastical, never anything of reality always fantasy. I wish for a change though.

My two cents.
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Paradelle is a form of poetry invented by Billy Collins (author of Whale Day.) This form is all about the repeat and the sum of its parts. It is a logic puzzle, it has the rigidity and weight of sestina and the cycling of pantoum. This piece was an experiment to see if I could actually do it. The trick is finding words that can transition from noun to adjective or verb.

As far as normal poetry, a majority that is on thess boards is mask poetry, (pieces that hide everything society finds bothersome or weird about my style or voice) is what is out there. Blocks, Sixteen, etc. There are a dozen and more pieces on these boards alone. There is no fire in those pieces, just the message of an instant. Most of them I don't even keep in hardcopy. Most I forget, I've even written. The forms, the fantastical, those are the pieces that matter because they are pieces of something different and wholly unique, something only I do.

To figuratively walk up to a writer (a fantasy writer, specifically) and say: I'm bored with fantasy I want you to write me a book about trees. Consider how that sounds. Change your subject, your style, everything...because I want something else. (A kid at dinner, this isn't a big deal, with creative projects...juggernaut weight class deal.)

(I'm autistic, as an autistic my brain finds patterns makes them, breaks them and rebuilds them into greater patterns, tesselations). These stories are my patterns, geometric and massive, a living fluid framework of fantastical verse. As a whole autistics mask every moment of every day to make the public comfortable and it is a massive drain, physically and mentally, and to have someone ask that that mask also be applied to one of the very few thing I truly love and use to escape...(Change it so it conforms to reality).

There are also a lot of other authors who do reality much better than I ever could. There are hundreds of thousands of books and millions of internet entries that can fill your niche. Readers have that option. But to take my patterning and to force that level of hyperfocus on a topic I have no interest in is the surest way to stop me from ever doing it. I write as an escape, a cope, and a stim. The work is a study in the outrageous. Reality does not have a place in it.

If you do not care for something, set it aside and let it be. Visit the library with your criteria, chances are they can fill it. Do not ever ask or expect another writer to alter their style or process to accomodate a vague want.
 
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