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"Origin" Pilot Episode (1 Viewer)



Hello everybody! And if you're reading this on Monday, happy Mardi Gras! :joker: I know, it's only Saturday... :(

I'm working on an independent horror/science fiction television series called "Origin". It's about a girl that finds out she can see spirits, and that she can make them. (Sort of a necromancer-y person). The whole series is being created by teenagers.

Anyways, I just finished the shooting draft of the 63-page script, and I wanted to know if anybody had any advice on the script and/or production of the series. (I'm also seeking teenage screenwriters for an episode or two).

Here's the script (in PDF format): http://www.freewebs.com/timothyweb/1.01%20Pilot%20(Shooting%20Draft).pdf

Do you think that'd make a worthwhile episode, if not series?


Senior Member
an ambitious undertaking, to say the least, orph!... but i can't see how you can produce your own tv series, without owning a network... or, is this for a school project, intended for closed-circuit school tv?

also, unless you're going to direct it yourself, you shouldn't be writing a shooting script... there are some errors in formatting that need to be addressed, as well as styling problems... in re the latter, the action elements are too novelish, need converting to a screenwriting 'voice'... it's also missing the requisite 'teaser' opening scene...

if you'd like more a detailed critique, or further info on the basics of tv series production, feel free to email me any time...

love and hugs, maia
[email protected]

ps: are you familiar with last year's quickly-cancelled cbs series, 'ghost whisperers'?... sounds a lot like yours, doncha think?
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Senior Member
Very well written from a viewer's perspective, take Mam's perspective for the professionalism thought, trust me.


Senior Member
That's weird I once wrote a script for school and I called it Origin, mine was about robots though. Well written, I liked it. I thought it was very interesting.