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Only the Wicked do Beasties Eat (1 Viewer)

rcallaci

Staff member
Administrator
note: we beasties demand that you read feastie beasties before this one. If not we will bore into your heads.


Only the Wicked do Beasties Eat #6

Little browns don’t make a sound
they prick our skin to make us frown
yellow-greens hip hop around
making bellies jump up and down
but beastie reds crawl in our heads
while sleeping soundly on our beds
they eat and feast devour whole
a little pocket within our soul

Oh daddy mommy what should I do
don’t let the beasties eat me too
I’ll say my prayers and do my chores
please protect me from their festered jaws
I’ll take a bath clean beneath my ears
don’t let them prey upon my fears
I’ll go to school and study hard
keep them forever out my bed and yard

Misunderstood from children so
only the wounded do we go
we hunt and feast of those our kind
whose souls are twisted by Mankind
so tell your mommy and daddy too
to tell the truth about what we do
fore if they don’t they’ll feel our wrath
and then you’ll need to take that bath




beastie commentaries:

never do we feast on the innocent
only those filled with sin
 
Last edited:

Pulse

Staff member
Senior Mentor
bob

I'm really enjoying these. I can never tell what is deliberate.

In the fourth lines of stanzas 1 and 2, my mouth wants to cut a syllable, for example 'they pump our bellies up and down' (or 'they jump our bellies up and down'). If you wanted S2L4 to be more rhythmic, it would be possible to cut the 'please'; but here the child's voice may need to plead.

Again, I like the way you play with italics and bold for different voices.
 
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