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Nightmare (1 Viewer)

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
He had held on so tightly to past scars and rejected by everyone he loved,
they say the past should stay where it is
but that’s the trouble with scars
they run soul deep, bone deep.

The times you were told everything
was fine it was clearly was not,
loved ones laughing while you break every night, almost to nothing and wake to nothing.

Walking these four walls like a ghost,
in a place where you were once so loved
These are true nightmares.

Children’s laughs are now children’s cries, where have all the memories gone,
tainted blood stained by fucking deceit.
Everything became nothing, and now nothing is fucking normal I really don’t think so.

Many search for perfection, to be popular to be followed by millions,but what fucking use is that if the people who matter most isolate you.

J.
 
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ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
He had held on so tightly to past scars and rejected by everyone he loved.
They say the past should stay where it is but that’s the trouble with scars
they run soul deep, bone deep.
The times you were told everything
was fine it was clearly was not.
Loved ones laughing while you break every night, almost to nothing and wake to nothing.
Walking these four walls like a ghost,
in a place where you were once so loved
These are true nightmares.
Children’s laughs are now children’s cries, where have all the memories gone,
tainted blood stains by fucking deceit,
Everything became nothing, and now nothing is fucking normal I really don’t think so.
Many search for perfection, to be popular to be followed by millions but what fucking use is that if the people who matter most isolate you.

J.
That's how nightmare stay inside us, when no body wants to stay all ears to our words, our expressions of pain, and the crushed childhood carries forward that pain inside us, as nightmares we want to run away from.
It really touched me.
Keep writing J
Thanks

Ritu
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
That's how nightmare stay inside us, when no body wants to stay all ears to our words, our expressions of pain, and the crushed childhood carries forward that pain inside us, as nightmares we want to run away from.
It really touched me.
Keep writing J
Thanks

Ritu

Thank you Ritu , I’d be lying if it didn’t hurt writing it. I wouldn’t write anything unless it moved me in some way.
Thanks again.

J.
 
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ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
Thank Ritu , I’d be lying if it didn’t hurt writing it. I wouldn’t write anything unless it moved me in some way.
Thanks again.

J.

Absolutely. It is not possible to write without getting into that feeling, I mean I too can write that way only.

Thanks J
Ritu
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Absolutely. It is not possible to write without getting into that feeling, I mean I too can write that way only.

Thanks J
Ritu

So true , it goes down the route of is this real am I telling lies to make it sound better.
Like the feeling of being fake writing something that is so personal to your heart.
And for it to be judged and poked at.
That I have no problem with because really it is just a confidence thing, of bearing your deepest emotions on paper for the world to see.
Thanks again.

J.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
So true , it goes down the route of is this real am I telling lies to make it sound better.
Like the feeling of being fake writing something that is so personal to your heart.
And for it to be judged and poked at.
That I have no problem with because really it is just a confidence thing, of bearing your deepest emotions on paper for the world to see.
Thanks again.

J.

May be that is the reason I can't write on too many things, because I find it hard to relate to too many things.

Thanks again
Ritu
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
May be that is the reason I can't write on too many things, because I find it hard to relate to too many things.

Thanks again
Ritu

I know exactly what you mean, saying anything less than the truth just feels wrong.
That’s the beautiful thing about poetry,
We’ve all been through many different life experiences, and sharing them shows us there is still beauty in each day, even if it’s hard to see.

Thank you.

J.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
I know exactly what you mean, saying anything less than the truth just feels wrong.
That’s the beautiful thing about poetry,
We’ve all been through many different life experiences, and sharing them shows us there is still beauty in each day, even if it’s hard to see.

Thank you.

J.
Exactly. I think I should stop commenting now, we both are getting emotional. But thanks a lot for understanding that.
Keep writing.
Good luck.

Ritu
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
I like the emotion of the piece, I think I say this a lot about your work, it’s why I keep coming back to it, for me I think this could be strengthened structurally with stanzas and that would give the piece a chance to settle with the reader. When it’s all bunched like this it feels like you don’t give the reader time to savour/mull over what you’re saying.

I hope this helps

Cheers

Syd
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
I like the emotion of the piece, I think I say this a lot about your work, it’s why I keep coming back to it, for me I think this could be strengthened structurally with stanzas and that would give the piece a chance to settle with the reader. When it’s all bunched like this it feels like you don’t give the reader time to savour/mull over what you’re saying.

I hope this helps

Cheers

Syd

Thank you Syd.
I understand what you mean by the structure.
I’ll definitely take note of what you are suggesting.
Any help is greatly appreciated.
Thanks again.

J.
 

AnnieJay

Senior Member
Thanks for sharing this J. I really appreciated the emotion in this piece. In reading the piece and the comments, I can see that there is a lot of emotion/feeling in all of your work. I've seen this in every piece I've read so far of yours. And I really appreciate your willingness to share here. It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up like that, especially when your feelings are raw. Sharing is a new experience for me too. I've found the folks here to be very generous and supportive. I hope you feel that too. For me, my writing as been like therapy. Once I get my thoughts and feelings on paper I can loosen my grip on them, and hopefully, they won't hurt quite so much. That's a lot of words to say "I feel your pain in your writing", and "Keep feeling and keep writing".

-AnnieJay
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Thanks for sharing this J. I really appreciated the emotion in this piece. In reading the piece and the comments, I can see that there is a lot of emotion/feeling in all of your work. I've seen this in every piece I've read so far of yours. And I really appreciate your willingness to share here. It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up like that, especially when your feelings are raw. Sharing is a new experience for me too. I've found the folks here to be very generous and supportive. I hope you feel that too. For me, my writing as been like therapy. Once I get my thoughts and feelings on paper I can loosen my grip on them, and hopefully, they won't hurt quite so much. That's a lot of words to say "I feel your pain in your writing", and "Keep feeling and keep writing".

-AnnieJay

Thank you Annie,

You’re right, it really helps with releasing feelings , it’s been really good therapy.

Everyone has been lovely and really helpful just as you have been too, so I really value any input and respect opinions.

I got into writing after reading Poet and Author J.Raymond’s work, I have just been talking to him today about my Tears and ink poem.
He is really nice and helpful, he also gave me tips and content I should read to improve my work.

I prefer his style, which has inspired my style.
Raw, honest and no sugar coating, I just feel I am lying to myself if it’s anything less than I am feeling.

Thanks again.

J.
 
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