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Nexus (1 Viewer)

stuub27

Senior Member
Nexus

The puppets are pulling the strings
The asylum has been overrun
The angels have forgone their wings
Our ending has barely begun

The highways are choked with fear
As we flee fast-coming death
Clinging on to all held dear
Whilst pursuing another breath

Terrorized by our reflection
In a mirror cracked by hate
Victims of our own deception
An apocalypse lies in wait

Making final resolutions
In the dim and failing light
Is there hope a revolution
Will guide us through this dreaded night?

Should we make it to the dawn
May we have learned at very last
That each and all of us are born
At the nexus of future and past

A pivotal moment of fate
Where possibility rules
Seize the chance to be great
Embrace the wisdom of fools
 

dannyboy

WF Veterans
Stu rhyme that feels unforced is very hard, this achieves that. My only thought is that I'd not ask the question re revolution rather I'd make it a demand, which for me feels more in keeping with the rest of the piece. Hope that makes sense.
Danny
 

rcallaci

Staff member
Administrator
An excellent piece- an extremely effective rhyme scheme that felt natural and added power to the piece. I love apocalyptic pieces and this one does not disappoint. The last stanza is simply outstanding- the line "embrace the wisdom of fools" is multilayered -many fools are dreamers and proclaimed as fools by those who are killers of dreams- bravo....


warmest
bob
 
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