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My WIP's Genre Needs a Name (1 Viewer)

Llyralen

Senior Member
Fair enough. I like some of the thoughts that go into this too. This stood out though:

The question that tortures me in every life is if my baby will be buried here too. If so, will my baby be besides me or lying in my dead body? Do Michael and Granny raise my baby? Maybe this life I'll get closer to the truth, I've still got a few weeks, but every life Fate's fingers are busy in my business.

As a concept that's wonderful to me, if someone gruesome to consider. It's real though and that's what counts. The idea of a body being interred and a smaller body being interred within that body is something I'd love to play with. The only problem here is the way it's expressed. You could argue what you've just said is she'll be buried with the living baby inside her. To get around this and to focus on what I think is the more powerful aspect, would be to write it the opposite way. You begin that way but don't fully explore the idea at first. You simply worry the baby could be buried here too. I'd focus entirely on the baby being buried here within the protag. There's something very interesting about what you've said there that could, if written correctly, give certain people in society pause for thought. I'm not saying to moralise or to overtly state 'wrong' or 'right' here. I'm simply saying it's a little moment something more could be layered in.
I really glad to get your critique. Are you saying that you wondered if her baby was buried alive and THAT is the interesting part of what you read? LOL Well, I will need to re-write it to remove all thoughts of that! She just doesn't know if her baby gets born or not before she dies, and I'm medical enough that her question doesn't seem like a weird thing to wonder about and was my way of showing that she doesn't know if her baby gets delivered or not. It obviously needs clarity so that people don't think it's morbid. For sure I'm not going into horror with this story, sorry to disappoint you there.
Whew! Thank goodness for your feedback.
 
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TheMightyAz

Mentor
I am glad to get some critique. Are you saying that you wondered if her baby was buried alive and THAT is the interesting part of what you read? LOL Well, I will need to re-write it to remove all thoughts of that! She just doesn't know if her baby gets born or not before she dies, and I'm medical enough that her question doesn't seem like a weird thing to wonder about. It obviously needs clarity, so thank you. For sure I'm not going into horror with this story.

There are certain genres we aren't meant to critique either. I know I can't critique horror, I dislike it. I'd be saying things like "I don't think there would be this much blood for that kind of wound." "this demon in the floorboards is kind of campy, but you meant it to be, right?" I wonder about you critiquing this story too, Az, but I'm glad you did just for me to realize that some people might think this is morbid. Whew! Thank goodness for feedback.
I wasn't talking from the perspective of it being a horror story. It's just something sitting there ready to be examined. I'm talking apart from the slight ambiguity and possibility that the baby was buried alive within her body. Is the dead baby inside her of any importance at all? Does it matter if there's a dead baby inside of her when she's buried? To some people it doesn't exist until it leaves the womb, to others it's of equal value wherever it is. But, I can guarantee, regardless of which person you are (that's an impersonal 'you') given the question: which is worse, killing a women or killing a pregnant women? Those who don't think of the child as an actual living thing until it's born would struggle to answer immediately.

You just don't spell those things out. You layer them below the surface.
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
I wasn't talking from the perspective of it being a horror story. It's just something sitting there ready to be examined. I'm talking apart from the slight ambiguity and possibility that the baby was buried alive within her body. Is the dead baby inside her of any importance at all? Does it matter if there's a dead baby inside of her when she's buried? To some people it doesn't exist until it leaves the womb, to others it's of equal value wherever it is. But, I can guarantee, regardless of which person you are (that's an impersonal 'you') given the question: which is worse, killing a women or killing a pregnant women? Those who don't think of the child as an actual living thing until it's born would struggle to answer immediately.

You just don't spell those things out. You layer them below the surface.

When you actually experience aspects of these questions (and I'm actually the poster-child of these questions myself in real life more than most moms even-- my uncommon personal experience in this area has been the case study for many philosophical discussions much to my dismay) ) then sometimes experience trumps conjecture.....and hearing someone's experience can sometimes shake up some people's world views, but experience can't apologize. Or is it just too blunt? You said "not elegant" earlier I think. I can think about that, but I confess maybe in this area I might be like a nurse trying to figure out what is "too gross" to someone else.

I'm grateful for your feedback, Az, and maybe I will understand more as I think about it.

I know I can't be there to explain anything to anyone while they're reading. So I know I need to make the following clear: her baby would not be alive in her body if Lily is dead.... that would be impossible medically, but maybe that's not clear in a Sci-Fi or fantasy book where there are other supernatural things going on.
 
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TheMightyAz

Mentor
When you actually experience aspects of these questions (and I'm actually the poster-child of these questions myself in real life more than most moms even-- my uncommon personal experience in this area has been the case study for many philosophical discussions much to my dismay) ) then sometimes experience trumps conjecture.....and hearing someone's experience can sometimes shake up some people's world views, but experience can't apologize. Or is it just too blunt? You said "not elegant" earlier I think. I can think about that, but I confess maybe in this area I might be like a nurse trying to figure out what is "too gross" to someone else.

I'm grateful for your feedback, Az, and maybe I will understand more as I think about it.

I know I can't be there to explain anything to anyone while they're reading. So I know I need to make the following clear: her baby would not be alive in her body if Lily is dead.... that would be impossible medically, but maybe that's not clear in a Sci-Fi or fantasy book where there are other supernatural things going on.
I know the baby wouldn't be alive. :) It's just the way that sentence read. That lead me to consider how it could be written in a more profound way, considering the death of the child before the death of the mother, giving us interesting societal commentary AND telling us more about the kind of woman the protag is. Is that clearer?

I meant elegant in terms of expression in prose, not in the ideas themselves. A sledgehammer is often the best tool but it can still be intricately decorated.
 
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Lawless

Senior Member
Let me know which one you like and if they make sense:

I liked the first one a lot better. It created the mood gently, gave vague information. I kind of floated effortlessly into the protagonist's head without even noticing. It was comfortable, even when I reached the sad part.
(BTW, the words "my baby" are repeated 3 times in quick succession. Maybe you want to consider, for example, replacing the 2nd occurrense with "it" or something more suitable you can think of.)

The second one was full of names and facts and it became tiring quickly. I might have felt differently if I hadn't read the first one first.
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
I liked the first one a lot better. It created the mood gently, gave vague information. I kind of floated effortlessly into the protagonist's head without even noticing. It was comfortable, even when I reached the sad part.
(BTW, the words "my baby" are repeated 3 times in quick succession. Maybe you want to consider, for example, replacing the 2nd occurrense with "it" or something more suitable you can think of.)

The second one was full of names and facts and it became tiring quickly. I might have felt differently if I hadn't read the first one first.
I hard-core avoid “it” when discussing babies, because it is the exact opposite of the close human sympathy she feels—which does make it difficult. I bet I can work harder to find a way around, though. Thank you for pointing this out.

I am so glad to get some more feedback on pacing and the experience of reading it. The second one is a semi-finished product that was cut to hell and back to make 30,000 words into a “short” story for an anthology and I think my story deserves the pace you describe. Hopefully I can keep it going and make it into a novel. Your feedback was appreciated! It also started a brainstorm for me that I think is very needed on what will exactly go into this first book: Lily’s story and Linda’s story? Or just Lily’s story and make Linda’s story the next book? Thank you!
 

apocalypsegal

Senior Member
I agree that this is more of a plot device, rather than a genre (or technically a sub genre). The main story plot could be different genres, depending on the overall story.

I wouldn't call it second chance, as that's a term that's used in Romance and it might confuse people.
 

Llyralen

Senior Member
I agree that this is more of a plot device, rather than a genre (or technically a sub genre). The main story plot could be different genres, depending on the overall story.

I wouldn't call it second chance, as that's a term that's used in Romance and it might confuse people.
Oh. I heard a few people say “Second chance” genre and I assumed they meant Groundhog Day stuff. Second Chance probably means a character going to their high school reunion and dating their old crush probably?

If you’re right, and you probably are, I think it’s hard to see the main genre in these movies/books. I guess Groundhog Day is a Rom Com but it seems like the device takes over— if it is a device. Ithe device is much more about improving yourself and then maybe winning a love interest in with the kit and kaboodle. The usual tropes aren’t there— the main object instead of one person to win, usually becomes about appreciation of the life and the people in your life. Dicken’s Christmas Carol. Well, if it’s hard to figure out genre, then it usually means it’s Lit Fic which means I’m probably at home. Lot Fic is what I read. My story has a bit of Time Travel and fantasy and alternative future in it, though. But the main point is loving the life you have.
 
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