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My college re-entrance exam. (1 Viewer)

Raging_Hopeful

Senior Member
So I'm reapplying at a college that I attended as a freshman and wanted to run it by everybody before I submitted it. I've reviewed it and revised it but in case there any glaring errors or clumsy footing, I'm hoping you'll help me out.
Cheers,
Linz





Essay

Please provide us with information about your academic preparation and why you feel you’re ready for college-level studies at Evergreen. In addition, you should describe your educational and career goals and how you believe attending The Evergreen State College will help you reach them.


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Our dreams give us the ability to transcend circumstance and defy odds, compelling us to reach a little farther than we thought we could, to try a little harder when we think we can’t. Dreams are our life-force; they give us purpose, a reason for taking a shower, a reason to face the day. Too often we forget how important it is to pursue these fledgling desires, for even in their fantastical dimensions, they give our lives pulse and preserve our fundamental drive for curiosity and discovery. Without our dreams, we wither. Without our dreams, we decay.


As a new high school graduate, attending Evergreen State College was my dream; indeed, it was the only college I applied to. Fed up with traditional schooling, I didn’t think another 4 years of college would be any more fulfilling than high school was. Evergreen changed my mind and it was the only college I considered attending because of the progressive integrated programs that redesigned the structure of learning. It was a place I could thrive and the moment I stepped on campus I was revitalized and for the first time, I was excited about my education. I relished the all-level programs and did a Student Oriented Studies contract spring quarter, even though some thought I couldn’t do it. I did well as a freshman, though my focus was dampened by something I didn’t think would interfere with the pursuit of my dream: Love.


Life doesn’t come with a manual and no one ever told me that I didn’t have to choose between love and my dream, that they should go hand-in-hand. Instead, fearing I would lose potential partnership and romantic fulfillment, I chose Love and all the joys and disappointments it had to offer. Some people said I made the wrong choice, but as Sydney J. Harris said, “Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” I don’t regret my decision, for I discovered nuances of my own self that I would have never found otherwise. As a result, I have emerged a stronger person and with a wiser internal compass which has led me through the tribulations of my life thus far. Even though my life has changed drastically since the days I wandered the campus as a freshman, it’s hard to forget the dreams that first gave us wings. I have never forgotten my dream of Evergreen.


Though my emphasis during freshman year was Education, I find myself beginning to contemplate contemporary issues on a global scale and am compelled to learn more about the world at large and the diverse civilizations that inhabit it. My new academic focus is Global Studies with an interest in examining the relationships that exist between political organizations, global citizens, and their symbiotic relationships with the environment. It is my goal to affiliate myself with organizations committed to improving the world’s welfare through education, participation and peaceful world relations. I am excited at the many Study Abroad opportunities available through Evergreen’s cultural programs and I believe it will provide me with the experience and knowledge I need to enact change in my own communities and the world around me.


I always hoped that I would have the opportunity to return to Evergreen as a student and I find that the time is right for me to resume my academic journey. With newfound hope and enthusiasm for the future and all its mysteries, I am ready to return to college and begin the pursuit of my dreams once more.
 
Last edited:

mammamaia

Senior Member
it's pretty good, no flaws jumped out at me... i'd only suggest paring down that just a bit over-passioned preamble... it's redundant in places and all there can be said in half the words, imo...

best of luck with admission and your next college years...

love and hugs, maia
 

Raging_Hopeful

Senior Member
Thanks Maia! Yeah the beginning is a tad heavy so I think I will pare it down a bit. Yes, I could be a lot more concise but for an entrance essay I think it should have a little "flower" to it... if you know what I mean. A little essence of suck-up without going overboard. But I'll look it over again. Thanks for your feedback! :)

Linz
 
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