P
penny
Here's a bit more of "ZONK" a warning this is a bit adult in nature just in language and some content.PG14- Be not afraid it's funny here.
(Continues) (c) 2004 by author penny/ken
Joanne:
I do cheat just not very well. Bev honey, go over to the bar and get that air-freshener… the one I put tape on and wrote 'For Adeline'.
Adeline:
You are being ugly again.
(Bev gives Joanne the air-freshener-sprays)
Bev:
I saw Ben today.
Adeline:
And how is the dear?
Bev:
(Walks to the bar and gets a glass. Walks over to the table and pours a full glass. Sits on the sofa.)
He seems better. I guess he's in twelve steps…got a job down at the docks. Seems good. (Gulps down glass)
Joanne:
If you think to get back with him… how will it help him if you keep sousing?
Bev:
I'm not the one with the problem. He gets mean when he drinks and you know it. I have no desire to get back with him. Besides …
Joanne:
It is three in the afternoon…
Bev:…The bottle was on your game table. I am not a slut. (Glaring at an uncaring Adeline) in spite of what I wear. I don't do drugs…I am not depressed. I drink…sometimes too much. When I do - I fall asleep. I am a good girl…MOTHER!
Adeline:
Roll Sis! She is you know. She goes to Mass with me every Sunday. You don't even do that. What's the score?
Bev:
Was that Pop's bottle? It was behind the books. Say what's going on here? Mom you would never let booze in the house. (Stands and walks over to the table caring her glass. She starts to pour more vodka in her glass.)
Joanne:
(Screams)
Shut up!
(Slaps the bottle and glass from Bev's hand. Stands and walks over to the stairs, back to the audience, crying.)
Bev:
Oh Mom -You used to nip from it and fill it back up with your bottle in the kitchen. It was a ritual of love and respect and I know it. I meant nothing by it. So don't …
(Adeline gets up and puts her arms around her sister- walks her back to the table.)
Joanne:]
I did love him. (Sits) God help me I did love him. I'm sorry. Sweety, get me some paper towels, I've made a mess. And as for you, Sis, I don't do Mass or Confession…my soul is secure and that is sure as the Pope in Rome - and you know it.
Adeline:
I know. Sweetheart . I know.
Joanne:
He hated me. He hated me and he had every right too! ( Slowly raising her voice to a yell…Slams the table.)
Bev:
No he didn't Mom. It was just his job it kept him away.
Adeline:
Yes Dear. It was his job.
Joanne:
(Quieted leaning back)
Do you know what secrets do? Do you? They create a play with characters and roles that move the players along on courses that they can't possibly foresee. It's the secrets that become who we are. Reality, truth, all of it is in the 'Secret'. The 'Lie'- the secret - becomes the 'Truth'. And we learn to live in it. We even thrive fearing the change…yes… that true revelation would crash down on our careful and contrived habits. Why risk something as vague as optimism or cynicism when the inevitable stands perched so solidly in front of us? The secret will always be revealed but we spend all our hard won time holding it in place until the weight of it crashes down on us. We are made of it and it of us. We delude ourselves that habit is good enough. There is no room for anything else.
(Everyone stares at Joanne in awed silence)
Bev:
Mom - That’s pretty deep. I've never heard you talk that way.
Adeline:
Your mother is a very deep woman. Ever notice she does crosswords in ink. Quiet women often run very deep. She always was deep you know. Mother thought it was no good a woman being deep, thought men were frightened by it. Poor Sis always caught Hell for her thoughts on things. When she was young she had opinions on everything …not like now.
Joanne:
Thanks.
Adeline:
What? Oh you know what I mean.
Ramsey:
Dear Lord. (Rubs his head)
Bev:
When I was a little girl. (Sits down on a chair next to the table) I used to sneak down the stairs and watch you two. There were these toasts you two did…lets do one now. (Both sisters look at each other) I know a secret…I want to do it with you and I'll make up the toast. (She gets up and pours the drinks)
( Bev says the poem-toast and the women repeat.)
Dear Lord carry us when we are tired and weak
(Dear Lord carry us when we are tired and weak)
Forgive us the need for the need of a little drink
(Forgive us the need for the need of a little drink)
Pray Mother Mary it is only some happiness we seek
(Pray Mother Mary it is only some happiness we seek)
After a few of these we feel fine and in the pink
(After a few of these we feel fine and in the pink)
(Women laugh)
Bev:
To Daddy!
Women:
Hee haw!
(Ramsey stands up.)
Joanne:
To my husband! Not bad Sweety …A few decades of practice and you will be brilliant.
Ramsey:
I'm the one who needs a drink!
(Sits)
Bev:
I intend for us to get wasted tonight. Tomorrow we will go on the wagon. I'm going to fix us some plates. We will need to eat. Mom? You do crossword puzzels in ink?
Joanne:
Use the paper plates would you baby.
Adeline:
The pad is ruined. We will have to start over. Oh Dear.
(Wiping the table)
Bev:
Mom Sweetheart, I'm going to use the China…it's never been out and it's time.
(Joanne starts weeping)
Adeline:
I got her that set when your mother was first married. I was married To Sam then…he was well off.
(Bev exits stage left.)
Joanne:
(Snuffling and wiping her eyes)
He was as rich as the Pope and ugly as a frog. When he passed he left it all to you. How you ever managed to let that one climb up on you I'll never know. Did he croak when he came? Or did you make him spread hundred dollar bills and rose pedals on the bed?
Adeline:
I'll tell you who is being ugly…you! We are starting over! (Rolls) 1000
(Silence as Joanne stares at her sister!)
I closed my eyes…(Giggles! Makes a gesture with her hands indicating a large penis.) Don't you say anything. I still think about it. (Crosses herself) I can't help it. He was good…he was ugly as a frog but he was a prince in bed.
Joanne:
Was it his tongue or his winkie?
Adeline:
Both (laughing) you shameless little bitch. Who cared if he was ugly!
(Both women laugh.)
Joanne:
I thought that might be it! I guess I envied you that. What do the Mexican women say?…find a man who is the four F's….Feo,Fuerte,Fiel,Fortuna.
Bev:
(Coming in -stage left- with a large tray.)
What does that mean Mom?
Joanne:
I don't know if it's right but I think it means…ugly - strong - loyal - lucky or rich…I think. (Rolls) Zip!
Adeline:
That was my Sam. You should be okay with me, Sis. Not rub it in my face. I have always taken care for you. (Rolls twice) 400
Ramsey:
He never told her how much money he had. I'm not sure he even knew. He was a made man …you know a gangster. They lived pretty modestly, not that she was ever uncomfortable -God forbid, the Princess she should even have an itch - He was just scared to death of the IRS. Saw G-men everywhere. Now that I think on it …it's probably what killed him. Heart attack. Anyway he's gone and she finds out she's loaded…I mean rich rich. Made her holier than thou and a pain in the Royal ass…I'm telling the truth (Lifts right hand) like Jesus cured the lepers.
Adeline:
I hated the way he talked about me. Like it was a sin to have money. You know I lived most of my married life like a rag woman.
Joanne:
(Looks at her sister and smiles)
I'm sorry sister…you have always taken good care of me. If it wasn't for you I don't know what I would have done.
Adeline:
What's the score?
Joanne:
mmmmm….(Adding Numbers)
7000 to 6350 I'm winning…I must be cheating.
Adeline:
Of course you are you great breasted vixen. I'll keep score next time.
Joanne:
What did you call me?
Adeline:
(Starts to giggle then starts howling- Joanne starts laughing too…settles down.)
He was handsome.
Joanne:
Sam? (Rolls twice) 350
Adeline:
Good Lord no. He was a toad. He had hair everywhere and warts big ones in the oddest places. But I tell you….
Joanne:
(Starts to laugh making a sign with her hands indicating the size of his large penis)
I like fruit that’s barely ripe
I like vodka straight up with ice
The flowers were not my husband's type
Adeline's Gumbo sure made it nice
But she was thinking on slammin'-jammin' nasty-sammy's pipe!
Adeline:
Oh Dear, you dreadful whore. I'm so embarrassed I may never be my true color again. What if Bev heard that… why…?
Bev:
( Enter stage left with a tray of food -grinning) I heard the poem. Mother I had no idea you had such a gift for verse. And my dear Aunty, tell me more about slammin-jammin- nasty-Sammy. (She sits at the table and snatches up the dice) Put the game up …this I want to hear.
Joanne:
Your prissy Aunt was going to share with us …
Adeline:
I most certainly was not. (Angry) The very idea that…( Stands waving her face.)
Joanne:
I think she may be right. I've done it this time . She will never return to her true color. (Bev and Joanne laugh)
Adeline:
You know how that makes me feel…that you would be so insensitive as to bring it up. ( Pacing)
Joanne:
Bev is a woman for God's sake. She will get a kick out of it. Now get over yourself and sit.
Bev:
Now this is good. (She begins to serve up the leftovers…Adeline sits down.)
Joanne:
Is this the Au Gratin that horrid Mrs. Fernserd sent over. I told her that the new Priest was a letch. That will keep her busy.
Bev:
She will be all over the poor little man. I do like her Au Gratin. ( Long pause,Bev looks at both women while they eat.) What? She's like that…you didn't know I knew?
Joanne:
Sam liked to get a hold of both your aunties butt cheeks and slam it in and sing at the top of his lungs "O solo mio!" At the top of his lungs.
Adeline:
Oh God you have no manners…none. You are a heathen...I swear.
Joanne:
Of course her bottom was a lot smaller then. (Adeline just glares at her sister)Not as difficult a task.
Bev:
(Laughing) Auntie why are you mad. It sounds like fun. Mine just rolled over on me and grunted. That’s how I knew he was through. Did he finish?
Adeline:
Of course he finished.
Bev:
No…I mean the song.
Joanne:
Verse after verse after verse after verse.
Adeline:
He was an ugly man with a nasty temper-but God care for my soul he had certain skills.
Bev:
My Ben had no skills…at just about anything. Poor man. It's why I left. He wasn't mean though just…well when he'd drink...
Joanne:
When women gets to a certain age or understanding we begin to see that the attention of a man can sometimes diminish us in ways we don't see. A woman should be made of what she can make of herself. We are gifted that way. Men dream of what they will hope to be, what God will make of them. We are made as we are and must only add to it by what happens to us. It is Eden's curse. We are flawed fortresses. Men mark their lives through failures and successes. We mark ours by pain and unrealized expectations ( Sips Vodka) heaped on us by those we love.
End for now...Penny
(Continues) (c) 2004 by author penny/ken
Joanne:
I do cheat just not very well. Bev honey, go over to the bar and get that air-freshener… the one I put tape on and wrote 'For Adeline'.
Adeline:
You are being ugly again.
(Bev gives Joanne the air-freshener-sprays)
Bev:
I saw Ben today.
Adeline:
And how is the dear?
Bev:
(Walks to the bar and gets a glass. Walks over to the table and pours a full glass. Sits on the sofa.)
He seems better. I guess he's in twelve steps…got a job down at the docks. Seems good. (Gulps down glass)
Joanne:
If you think to get back with him… how will it help him if you keep sousing?
Bev:
I'm not the one with the problem. He gets mean when he drinks and you know it. I have no desire to get back with him. Besides …
Joanne:
It is three in the afternoon…
Bev:…The bottle was on your game table. I am not a slut. (Glaring at an uncaring Adeline) in spite of what I wear. I don't do drugs…I am not depressed. I drink…sometimes too much. When I do - I fall asleep. I am a good girl…MOTHER!
Adeline:
Roll Sis! She is you know. She goes to Mass with me every Sunday. You don't even do that. What's the score?
Bev:
Was that Pop's bottle? It was behind the books. Say what's going on here? Mom you would never let booze in the house. (Stands and walks over to the table caring her glass. She starts to pour more vodka in her glass.)
Joanne:
(Screams)
Shut up!
(Slaps the bottle and glass from Bev's hand. Stands and walks over to the stairs, back to the audience, crying.)
Bev:
Oh Mom -You used to nip from it and fill it back up with your bottle in the kitchen. It was a ritual of love and respect and I know it. I meant nothing by it. So don't …
(Adeline gets up and puts her arms around her sister- walks her back to the table.)
Joanne:]
I did love him. (Sits) God help me I did love him. I'm sorry. Sweety, get me some paper towels, I've made a mess. And as for you, Sis, I don't do Mass or Confession…my soul is secure and that is sure as the Pope in Rome - and you know it.
Adeline:
I know. Sweetheart . I know.
Joanne:
He hated me. He hated me and he had every right too! ( Slowly raising her voice to a yell…Slams the table.)
Bev:
No he didn't Mom. It was just his job it kept him away.
Adeline:
Yes Dear. It was his job.
Joanne:
(Quieted leaning back)
Do you know what secrets do? Do you? They create a play with characters and roles that move the players along on courses that they can't possibly foresee. It's the secrets that become who we are. Reality, truth, all of it is in the 'Secret'. The 'Lie'- the secret - becomes the 'Truth'. And we learn to live in it. We even thrive fearing the change…yes… that true revelation would crash down on our careful and contrived habits. Why risk something as vague as optimism or cynicism when the inevitable stands perched so solidly in front of us? The secret will always be revealed but we spend all our hard won time holding it in place until the weight of it crashes down on us. We are made of it and it of us. We delude ourselves that habit is good enough. There is no room for anything else.
(Everyone stares at Joanne in awed silence)
Bev:
Mom - That’s pretty deep. I've never heard you talk that way.
Adeline:
Your mother is a very deep woman. Ever notice she does crosswords in ink. Quiet women often run very deep. She always was deep you know. Mother thought it was no good a woman being deep, thought men were frightened by it. Poor Sis always caught Hell for her thoughts on things. When she was young she had opinions on everything …not like now.
Joanne:
Thanks.
Adeline:
What? Oh you know what I mean.
Ramsey:
Dear Lord. (Rubs his head)
Bev:
When I was a little girl. (Sits down on a chair next to the table) I used to sneak down the stairs and watch you two. There were these toasts you two did…lets do one now. (Both sisters look at each other) I know a secret…I want to do it with you and I'll make up the toast. (She gets up and pours the drinks)
( Bev says the poem-toast and the women repeat.)
Dear Lord carry us when we are tired and weak
(Dear Lord carry us when we are tired and weak)
Forgive us the need for the need of a little drink
(Forgive us the need for the need of a little drink)
Pray Mother Mary it is only some happiness we seek
(Pray Mother Mary it is only some happiness we seek)
After a few of these we feel fine and in the pink
(After a few of these we feel fine and in the pink)
(Women laugh)
Bev:
To Daddy!
Women:
Hee haw!
(Ramsey stands up.)
Joanne:
To my husband! Not bad Sweety …A few decades of practice and you will be brilliant.
Ramsey:
I'm the one who needs a drink!
(Sits)
Bev:
I intend for us to get wasted tonight. Tomorrow we will go on the wagon. I'm going to fix us some plates. We will need to eat. Mom? You do crossword puzzels in ink?
Joanne:
Use the paper plates would you baby.
Adeline:
The pad is ruined. We will have to start over. Oh Dear.
(Wiping the table)
Bev:
Mom Sweetheart, I'm going to use the China…it's never been out and it's time.
(Joanne starts weeping)
Adeline:
I got her that set when your mother was first married. I was married To Sam then…he was well off.
(Bev exits stage left.)
Joanne:
(Snuffling and wiping her eyes)
He was as rich as the Pope and ugly as a frog. When he passed he left it all to you. How you ever managed to let that one climb up on you I'll never know. Did he croak when he came? Or did you make him spread hundred dollar bills and rose pedals on the bed?
Adeline:
I'll tell you who is being ugly…you! We are starting over! (Rolls) 1000
(Silence as Joanne stares at her sister!)
I closed my eyes…(Giggles! Makes a gesture with her hands indicating a large penis.) Don't you say anything. I still think about it. (Crosses herself) I can't help it. He was good…he was ugly as a frog but he was a prince in bed.
Joanne:
Was it his tongue or his winkie?
Adeline:
Both (laughing) you shameless little bitch. Who cared if he was ugly!
(Both women laugh.)
Joanne:
I thought that might be it! I guess I envied you that. What do the Mexican women say?…find a man who is the four F's….Feo,Fuerte,Fiel,Fortuna.
Bev:
(Coming in -stage left- with a large tray.)
What does that mean Mom?
Joanne:
I don't know if it's right but I think it means…ugly - strong - loyal - lucky or rich…I think. (Rolls) Zip!
Adeline:
That was my Sam. You should be okay with me, Sis. Not rub it in my face. I have always taken care for you. (Rolls twice) 400
Ramsey:
He never told her how much money he had. I'm not sure he even knew. He was a made man …you know a gangster. They lived pretty modestly, not that she was ever uncomfortable -God forbid, the Princess she should even have an itch - He was just scared to death of the IRS. Saw G-men everywhere. Now that I think on it …it's probably what killed him. Heart attack. Anyway he's gone and she finds out she's loaded…I mean rich rich. Made her holier than thou and a pain in the Royal ass…I'm telling the truth (Lifts right hand) like Jesus cured the lepers.
Adeline:
I hated the way he talked about me. Like it was a sin to have money. You know I lived most of my married life like a rag woman.
Joanne:
(Looks at her sister and smiles)
I'm sorry sister…you have always taken good care of me. If it wasn't for you I don't know what I would have done.
Adeline:
What's the score?
Joanne:
mmmmm….(Adding Numbers)
7000 to 6350 I'm winning…I must be cheating.
Adeline:
Of course you are you great breasted vixen. I'll keep score next time.
Joanne:
What did you call me?
Adeline:
(Starts to giggle then starts howling- Joanne starts laughing too…settles down.)
He was handsome.
Joanne:
Sam? (Rolls twice) 350
Adeline:
Good Lord no. He was a toad. He had hair everywhere and warts big ones in the oddest places. But I tell you….
Joanne:
(Starts to laugh making a sign with her hands indicating the size of his large penis)
I like fruit that’s barely ripe
I like vodka straight up with ice
The flowers were not my husband's type
Adeline's Gumbo sure made it nice
But she was thinking on slammin'-jammin' nasty-sammy's pipe!
Adeline:
Oh Dear, you dreadful whore. I'm so embarrassed I may never be my true color again. What if Bev heard that… why…?
Bev:
( Enter stage left with a tray of food -grinning) I heard the poem. Mother I had no idea you had such a gift for verse. And my dear Aunty, tell me more about slammin-jammin- nasty-Sammy. (She sits at the table and snatches up the dice) Put the game up …this I want to hear.
Joanne:
Your prissy Aunt was going to share with us …
Adeline:
I most certainly was not. (Angry) The very idea that…( Stands waving her face.)
Joanne:
I think she may be right. I've done it this time . She will never return to her true color. (Bev and Joanne laugh)
Adeline:
You know how that makes me feel…that you would be so insensitive as to bring it up. ( Pacing)
Joanne:
Bev is a woman for God's sake. She will get a kick out of it. Now get over yourself and sit.
Bev:
Now this is good. (She begins to serve up the leftovers…Adeline sits down.)
Joanne:
Is this the Au Gratin that horrid Mrs. Fernserd sent over. I told her that the new Priest was a letch. That will keep her busy.
Bev:
She will be all over the poor little man. I do like her Au Gratin. ( Long pause,Bev looks at both women while they eat.) What? She's like that…you didn't know I knew?
Joanne:
Sam liked to get a hold of both your aunties butt cheeks and slam it in and sing at the top of his lungs "O solo mio!" At the top of his lungs.
Adeline:
Oh God you have no manners…none. You are a heathen...I swear.
Joanne:
Of course her bottom was a lot smaller then. (Adeline just glares at her sister)Not as difficult a task.
Bev:
(Laughing) Auntie why are you mad. It sounds like fun. Mine just rolled over on me and grunted. That’s how I knew he was through. Did he finish?
Adeline:
Of course he finished.
Bev:
No…I mean the song.
Joanne:
Verse after verse after verse after verse.
Adeline:
He was an ugly man with a nasty temper-but God care for my soul he had certain skills.
Bev:
My Ben had no skills…at just about anything. Poor man. It's why I left. He wasn't mean though just…well when he'd drink...
Joanne:
When women gets to a certain age or understanding we begin to see that the attention of a man can sometimes diminish us in ways we don't see. A woman should be made of what she can make of herself. We are gifted that way. Men dream of what they will hope to be, what God will make of them. We are made as we are and must only add to it by what happens to us. It is Eden's curse. We are flawed fortresses. Men mark their lives through failures and successes. We mark ours by pain and unrealized expectations ( Sips Vodka) heaped on us by those we love.
End for now...Penny