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Midnight disaster sentences (1 Viewer)

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BornForBurning

Senior Member
It's two in the morning. You're clattering along on your keyboard/typewriter/Nietzsche's typing ball, blink, and notice this abomination scrawled across your screen:

Her face glowered darkly in the darkness.

I think I'm going to start keeping a record of these. They're hilarious. Another good one I happen to remember:

Thunder crashed. The windows howled.

Anyone else have some good/terrible midnight disaster sentences?
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
I had one that went something like:

"The squawk of gulls hid the crash-thump of waves as they crash-thumped against the shore."

You'll never guess what noise my laptop made as I hurled it across the room in a fit of writerly wah-wah.


It squawked?
 

vranger

Staff member
Supervisor
Only when spell check goes wild. :)

And now that I'm writing in Scrivener, that's a given. As much as I liked about that software to move my production in, Scrivener's spell check (auto-correct) is a hot mess.
 

BrandonTheWriter

Senior Member
Who doesn't? But when I correct them as I go, it kills the momentum.

You gotta get out the tailings to get to the gold.

I try to do this also.

I feel if I start re-reading my work too much or going back to it, it can kill the flow.

I watched a video where someone was discussing writing tips and they said you should just get everything down first and worry about cleaning it up later. Not sure if that is good advice or not, but I feel like it is. Whenever I have gone back in the middle of writing a story and started overthinking everything, I have always abandoned it.

Definitely a funny thread regardless, I have had my fair share of blunders. When I go back to read some of my stuff and can't believe I thought that sentence made sense. Hell, take a look at any of my threads on this place when I was younger. A lot of pieces I was embarrassed about. I try to look at everything as a learning step.
 

bdcharles

Wɾ¡ʇ¡∩9
Staff member
Media Manager
"The disks of her trachea cadenced whenever she spoke, producing a sound which possessed the strangeness of a sharp music note."

(I swear to god I meant something intelligible but this came up on screen.)

I like that. But if you do decide to use this, I wouldn't say sharp note as there's not much intrinsically strange about them. Maybe "possessed the strangeness of a minor note."

If you never use it, I might :)
 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
It's all yours. I didn't like something about the close-up image of someone's tracheal disks (so anatomical) moving up and down. It was in a scene about romantic attraction, no less.
 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
Madam pulled the drawer out further.

There are ZERO excuses for me to confuse further and farther any further.
"Fresh sunbeams refracted off Joan's coffee.

This is an insufferable way of showing "It stopped raining."

I'll probably stick with some reworking of this . . . one that's less likely to result in an editor going to court for second degree murder . . .
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
But now lights shone softly in windows, some of them appearing to be hung on nothing more than deepest blue shadow and echoing the punctuation of other streetlights, some white, some with a pinkish hue that washed the snow with a kind of winter greeting card warmth.
Breathe...BREATHE!

We have echoes of punctuation, we have remnants from the lost-n-found metaphor bin, we have greeting cards. This sentence tries to have it all!
 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
From a box of my old story notes:

It teared him up like an old sheet.

Like a fucking what?

In recent news, chapter four of my current book has, at only 2,500 words, FOURTEEN metaphors and similes.

Or should I say . . . fourteen . . . so far.
 

TheMightyAz

Mentor
This thread scares me. I know full well at some point I'm going to read a thrown away sentence and think 'I actually like that', and say it out loud.
 
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