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Meet Me in the Silence (1 Viewer)

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
meet me in the silence
in that gap between words
where there can be no judgments
cause we cannot be heard

meet me in that space between thoughts
where our hearts can feel and our spirits touch
where we can experience each other
but never hear, “you’re not enough”

meet me in that place before you answer the question I’m asking
in that lull between each breath
let me rest in your side
let my arms welcome you
into the silence-into the void

in the silence, our fears are assuaged
without the opinionated other
we simply exist
our souls meet
and our shadows dance
we bump into each other
stripped of all nonessentials
we discover each other
you wear life’s battle scars with honor
I will hold you story with gentle hands

I’ll embrace all of you
not just the parts deemed acceptable
so follow me into the hushhhhhhh….
where there’s no good or bad
there’s just you
and there’s just me
heavy with stuff
I will make room for you
will you make room for me?

Then Come.
we’ll bear each other
in the quiet
where there are no words
where there are no judgments to be heard

Hello ,

This made me think about how little people make time for each other in relationships.
There’s too much noise with social media and the current situation with covid.
It can all be too deafening.
We could all throw our phones away, go to a place far away and get to know what human connection is all over again.
No material things or judgment to be seen.
Thank you.

J.
 

ritudimrinautiyal

Senior Member
meet me in the silence
in that gap between words
where there can be no judgments
cause we cannot be heard

meet me in that space between thoughts
where our hearts can feel and our spirits touch
where we can experience each other
but never hear, “you’re not enough”

meet me in that place before you answer the question I’m asking
in that lull between each breath
let me rest in your side
let my arms welcome you
into the silence-into the void

in the silence, our fears are assuaged
without the opinionated other
we simply exist
our souls meet
and our shadows dance
we bump into each other
stripped of all nonessentials
we discover each other
you wear life’s battle scars with honor
I will hold you story with gentle hands

I’ll embrace all of you
not just the parts deemed acceptable
so follow me into the hushhhhhhh….
where there’s no good or bad
there’s just you
and there’s just me
heavy with stuff
I will make room for you
will you make room for me?

Then Come.
we’ll bear each other
in the quiet
where there are no words
where there are no judgments to be heard
I got deeply engrossed in that. Every line taking you in the flow of emotions, a deep sense of understanding of feelings, shedding all that unnecessary to rise in feelings so light.

Loved it Happy.
Thanks for writing this
Ritu
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
I like this, I think you lose the rhythm and flow of the piece with the first line of stanza three and never really reclaim that beautiful rolling feel you create in S1 and S2.

For me I think the piece would benefit from a stricter structure, if you can I would think quatrains like S1 and S2 would really help keep this feel tight throughout.

Cheers

Syd
 

AnnieJay

Senior Member
This is lovely! That first line really reeled me in. Meeting in the silence is very appealing in a world where we are surrounded by so much meaningless chatter. Great job!

-AnnieJay
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
Hello ,

This made me think about how little people make time for each other in relationships.
There’s too much noise with social media and the current situation with covid.
It can all be too deafening.
We could all throw our phones away, go to a place far away and get to know what human connection is all over again.
No material things or judgment to be seen.
Thank you.

J.

Hi J.,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
I actually wrote this before corona and took it out to tweak it a bit. Seems like I've always been trying to escape the noise....
I appreciate you reading and commenting.
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
I got deeply engrossed in that. Every line taking you in the flow of emotions, a deep sense of understanding of feelings, shedding all that unnecessary to rise in feelings so light.

Loved it Happy.
Thanks for writing this
Ritu

Hi Ritu

Thanks for reading. I like how you describle the poem...shedding all that is unnecessary to rise to the light...
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
I like this, I think you lose the rhythm and flow of the piece with the first line of stanza three and never really reclaim that beautiful rolling feel you create in S1 and S2.

For me I think the piece would benefit from a stricter structure, if you can I would think quatrains like S1 and S2 would really help keep this feel tight throughout.

Cheers

Syd

Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment.


I can see what you mean making the 2nd part of the poem tighter. I've been thinking about it;the project is daunting...
I really do appreciate your feedback.
 

happy-hippie

Senior Member
This is lovely! That first line really reeled me in. Meeting in the silence is very appealing in a world where we are surrounded by so much meaningless chatter. Great job!

-AnnieJay
Thank you Annie-Jay,

I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
Hi J.,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
I actually wrote this before corona and took it out to tweak it a bit. Seems like I've always been trying to escape the noise....
I appreciate you reading and commenting.

Hi,
You’re welcome, this is a nice place to escape to.
Thank you.

J.
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
meet me in the silence
in that gap between words
where there can be no judgments
cause we cannot be heard

meet me in that space between thoughts
where our hearts can feel and our spirits touch
where we can experience each other
but never hear, “you’re not enough”

meet me in that place before you answer the question I’m asking
in that lull between each breath
let me rest in your side
let my arms welcome you
into the silence-into the void

in the silence, our fears are assuaged
without the opinionated other
we simply exist
our souls meet
and our shadows dance
we bump into each other
stripped of all nonessentials
we discover each other
you wear life’s battle scars with honor
I will hold you story with gentle hands

I’ll embrace all of you
not just the parts deemed acceptable
so follow me into the hushhhhhhh….
where there’s no good or bad
there’s just you
and there’s just me
heavy with stuff
I will make room for you
will you make room for me?

Then Come.
we’ll bear each other
in the quiet
where there are no words
where there are no judgments to be heard

Your beautiful poem reminded me of a quote.

Meet me in the middle of your story when the soul is worn but wise.

Thank you.

J.
 

Annie. Marie

Senior Member
My favorite poem of the day. I literally felt in my chest those moments that you mentioned. Just before something is said, or when two people can just settle and sink into each others beings without their words getting in the way. That silence can also be very telling about how you feel about the person (comfortable vs awkward).
Excellent.

-Annie
 
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