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lostheads (1 Viewer)

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
hummmm... Phil, you know I loooove your poetry, maybe I need some coffee or a "special " brownie... but I don't get it....
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
hummmm... Phil, you know I loooove your poetry, maybe I need some coffee or a "special " brownie... but I don't get it....

Much of it is UK-centric, so it's not about you lacking anything :)

I will go through an explanation of sorts:
In the past couple of days the official UK death toll from covid has gone through 100,000. Some commentators believe this to be psychologically significant. Many believe that if the government had timed its actions better, the number could have been vastly reduced. The UK having almost the worst per capita death rate in the world from covid seems to lend weight to that view. Therefore, I provide the image of 100,000 coffins stretched in line and back from number ten (Downing Street - the Prime Minister's political home in London) to Chequers, the Prime Minister's country home where other business is often conducted. The round trip is about 80 miles.

Bean counters is a commonly-used name for accountants.

Although the government has given or loaned significant financial support, many argue that it is insufficient and/or hasn't been targeted very well. This has led to a significant minority receiving no support at all at a time when their incomes have been wiped out. So I provide the thought of the accountants only being concerned about how much the nails cost that secure the coffin lids.

Lostheads, the title, is the name of a type of nail whose head doesn't show once it has been knocked in. Typically, it is used for floorboards, but I've extended its use to coffin lids for the purpose of the poem (yes, I'm pretty sure they use screws these days), because it seems to be a half-decent way to imply that government ministers have lost their heads during the covid crisis. It may be that lostheads is a peculiarly British term for such a nail and isn't recognised in the USA.
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Wow! What graphic imagery, when you know the references you speak of... actually quite haunting... thank you for taking the time to help me understand, I appreciate....
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
Wow! What graphic imagery, when you know the references you speak of... actually quite haunting... thank you for taking the time to help me understand, I appreciate....

I'm a bit of a sod for using Britishisms in some of my work. I may be cured one day, but not today :) . You wouldn't be aware of this but it's not uncommon for me to puzzle over the usage of some US-dominant words.
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
I'm a bit of a sod for using Britishisms in some of my work. I may be cured one day, but not today :) . You wouldn't be aware of this but it's not uncommon for me to puzzle over the usage of some US-dominant words.

Please don't take out too much of your "Britishisms".... they make your poetry not only unique, but intriguing as well ;)
 

Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
Those with clout would tell you that 100,000 is "World beating".

(Note to firemajic, To 'have clout' means to have influence, clout nails are the ones with big heads, big head Boris keeps making ridiculous claims about things being 'world beating')
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Those with clout would tell you that 100,000 is "World beating".

(Note to firemajic, To 'have clout' means to have influence, clout nails are the ones with big heads, big head Boris keeps making ridiculous claims about things being 'world beating')

" Big head Boris" .... sounds like a limerick... ;)
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
There was a bighead named Boris
Who thumbed through a fancy thesaurus
His head swelled with pride
When he showed the next slide
And his Cabinet sang a three-slogan chorus

I think the limerick is worthy of social media. What's the betting some twat on there will try to make a political issue from it?

...and the block list grows longer.
 

Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
The limerick thread ran for years here, it went through stages, sometimes they were better than others.

Yours is pretty good, you lose the rhythm a bit in places. It is supposed to be in anapests, they are two unstressed silly bubbles followed by a stressed one. So three to a line in the long ones, two in the short, but you are allowed to make the last one shorter by one silly bubble, an iamb in effect. I have trouble keeping track with that and check myself by keeping track with one I know by heart and know is right.

There was a/ young lady/ from Ryde

There was a/ big head named Boris

You can see it's a syllable short, sticking 'old' between 'a' (become 'an') and 'big' is a 'standard' sort of way to fix it, but I would suggest it is always a shame to simply throw a syllable away with a filler word, it should be made to work. How about a bit of alliteration as well, like

Boris the/ big head said/"Adore us"
As he thumbed through a fancy thesaurus

Love your alliteration there, count your syllables, a bit long there. replace 'As he' with 'And' is not a bad fix.

I would tend to agree with you, limericks might do well on social media, people do enjoy them.
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
The limerick thread ran for years here, it went through stages, sometimes they were better than others.

Yours is pretty good, you lose the rhythm a bit in places. It is supposed to be in anapests, they are two unstressed silly bubbles followed by a stressed one. So three to a line in the long ones, two in the short, but you are allowed to make the last one shorter by one silly bubble, an iamb in effect. I have trouble keeping track with that and check myself by keeping track with one I know by heart and know is right.

There was a/ young lady/ from Ryde

There was a/ big head named Boris

You can see it's a syllable short, sticking 'old' between 'a' (become 'an') and 'big' is a 'standard' sort of way to fix it, but I would suggest it is always a shame to simply throw a syllable away with a filler word, it should be made to work. How about a bit of alliteration as well, like

Boris the/ big head said/"Adore us"
As he thumbed through a fancy thesaurus

Love your alliteration there, count your syllables, a bit long there. replace 'As he' with 'And' is not a bad fix.

I would tend to agree with you, limericks might do well on social media, people do enjoy them.


Yes, I realise the meter goes awry, but I just fancied having a pop at Boris.
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
That seems fair enough, who wouldn't after all. :)
The social media thing might work well with political limericks, does Twitter allow enough characters for a limerick?

I don't know, Olly, as I rarely use Twitter and can't recall character maximum. Also, I've never really figured out how to use it. I lean towards Facebook more. I don't like either platform, but Facebook seems easier to use.
 
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