We all have our problems and difficulty in life that come in many different forms. Mine came in the form of Crohn's disease. i had multiple surgeries before they finally found out what was wrong with me. It was a hard time for me as i had a fistulae that would not go away and i was in high school. For those of you who dont know what a fistulae is let me explain. we are constanly having tears occuring in our anal walls. However with crohn's these tears do not heal like they do in a normal person. they eventually become an absess. this absess eventually grows so big that it shows on the outside of the skin. In my case it was between my balls and anus. in an effort to remove it, the doctors opened it up and tried to let it drain. this did not happen and they performed multiple surgeries to fix it. that alone was not he hard part. the hard part was the pain and the fact that it was there. and the worst part was that it leeked and that what came out reeked just like any infection does but worse. i had to wear maxi pads in my underwear to catch the leakage. as a teenager i found this to be incredibly difficult to live with. finally they did some more tests and figured out that i had crohns. They were then able to fix it mostly. However it turns out that the fistulae was just the beginnings of my problems. I now have multipe problems ranging from nutrients problems like having less iron in my body than my doctors have ever seen before, to bad joint problems, to horrendous gutaches that make me fall to the ground crying. imagine having one of those happen on your first day in a college class. My purpose in telling you these things is not to gross you out, but to set a basis for my story. At first crohns didnt hit me. I refused to admit there was anything wrong wiht me. then i realized that no matter how much i refused to believe that i didnt have anything wrong with me, there was something wrong with me. I feel into a deep depression and stayed that way for awhile. One day i started to explore the thought of death as an escape from life. the more i explored it the more i was disgusted with myself. I felt like i was giving up not only on myself but on everyone else too. But through my exploration of death i came to terms with the fact that not only would eventually die but i would die a lot faster than what i would have hoped. I realized that meant that i needed to do whatever i needed to accomplish in life way before i would have otherwise done it. And the thing that i find is most important to me feeling like i have accomplished my life, is that i become comfortable and content in who i am. that has taken a lot of work and is definitely not done. However i realized that despite the difficulties of my condition, it was a blessing. it forced me to rea;ize that everyone has there hard times in life. but it is not the pain and misery that is improtant but what you take out of the pain and misery. If you look at these difficulties in life as something to use to improve yourself as a person and to make yourself into yourself, then it will happen and you will begin to feel content. You may still be unhappy. Life may still be hard and full of pain, but you will be able to go to the grave with confidence and the knowledge that you took everything that you learned and made yourself into a person that you can be happy with and proud of. thus the point of this post. there is a saying that i have begun to truly appreciate. It goes that the hard way is often the best way. this is because it teaches you the most. So if you are someone like me and have something similiar or if you are just having a hard time in life remember that it will pass. it will go away whether through time or death it will go away. So rather than sit back and mope and feel sorry for yourself get up and take advantage of your situation. Use it to puxh yourself to accomplish what you truly want or need.