hello WF members ,how are you?
there is an old story , i wrote but i didn't complete it
i need your critique to complete it or not.
it's called last summer
Inthe late summer of 2002 .We were planning to spend Summer Vacation atDifferent Place Apart From the Ex- place in last Year. My Family AndI Wanted To Have Some Fun. Although I Was Very Excited About ThisVacation, I Didn't Know Why Did I Feel That Something Wasn't Alright." Where Are We Going to This Year?" I Asked With SmileUpon My Face. " I Don't Know Where, Do You Want To Go Anywhere?" She Notified Me With Fear I Could Feel From Her Saying . SheWas Trying Her Best To Hide It ."Ummh ..... Can We Go ToAlexandria in this Year?" I Asked As I Whispered her . " IDon't Know Right Now , I'm Going to ask your Dad About That Okay ?"She Asked As If She Was fighting someone . "Okay But What'sWrong With you Mom?" I Was Worried About Her . She Was Sohesitated to reply on me but she replied "Nothing , I'm in Lackof Sleeping ,I'm So tired ". I Didn't believe Her either "AreYou Sure ??" I Questioned Her . " yes I’m sure "sheacted as if she was okay "When are We Going to there?" Icontinued asking her "I Don't Know Discuss it with Your Dad ""Is There Anything I don't Know About ?" " No, There'sNothing to say as I Told you ". " Is It The Truth ??? CauseI Feel that You're afraid of something ,i can see it in your eyes youseem so lost " " Yes, Stop Asking these Questions Okay?"She shouted at me " Okay ,mom I'm Sorry to bother you" . "I'm Not afraid sweetie ,Just Tired ,So I Don't seem Aware ". "soyou can't focus on my words". "yes ,exactly Sara ,you getit ". I became Furious and Wished to leave her, She Kissed me onmy forehead "I have to go now". "where are you Goingto ?" she asked me "i'm going to my room, Can I Go ?""Yes You Can". she replied ,
shemade me upset ,I Didn't want to do anything, she Made Me Feel thatthere's nothing in life could bring me joy and happiness, I couldn'tdo anything . I left Her room , I Didn't want To go to my room ,so Iwent to balcony, I looked in the sky ,It Was pure and I Saw The SunWas Raising ,It Was as Circled With Bright Golden Colour . It Was SoShining , I Sighed But My Feelings ,That I Was depressed Hadn't gone. So I couldn't Enjoy The View ,It Failed to interest me. So I Forgotit Or Couldn't Care About it At All. All I Did Was Staring in The Sky, My Mind Had taken me Far to the Mixed up Memories between Joy andtears as I can describe right now .But What Could I remember RightNow Is My Dream , I can't say It Was good or Bad but I Can Say It'slike An adventure to me. My Memories Started to comeback to my headAgain Strongly.
IRemembered While I had been ready to go to bed and start sleeping. IHad Been Sad Because Of Fights , I had Fought With My Friends overThe Internet . all the night , I couldn't remember How Had the fightBeen or What had I been arguing about? , I had been angry; I couldn’thave slept for 3 Hours. Then I had remembered Alex City and sea whichits color is blue until I had fallen asleep. I had a nightmare thatI'd asked My Mom "Can I ask you something?" She had been onher bed laying down but not sleeping and I had been standing upbeside her room Door then she replied "Yes but I Should KnowWhat is it First, Right?" "Right mom, I want to go to themall, Can You Come with me?” I'd Asked "I Can't Say Yes or noUntil I Think Deeply About it." she had made me confuse, I hadfrowned "When Am I going to know About Your decision?""Don’t be upset, I’ll do my Best and call on you later toknow my decision.” she tried to please me. “Can I Go To My RoomNow?" I Requested. "Yes You Can" she smiled. All OfThat I had left her alone; I had gone to my room. I had laid down onthe bed then I'd started to Feel bored ,I'd tried to Ignore Thisfeeling ,Stay Awake and Bear all of That more, more and more...........but I couldn't have held on for long time , I'dsurrendered to the sleeping, but I can't remember how long time had Islept and can't count too. I couldn't remember If I Had dreamt ornot, but I could remember that I had Gotten up Scared , I couldn'thave breathed well ,my heart was beating a lot ,a lot and a lot andquickly, it hadn't stopped beating strongly "what's wrong withme?, why’s my heart beating like this ?" my mind thought. Ihad checked the clock it'd been 5:00pm, "oh, my god " I hadsurprised and I had started to remember my mom's promise. I’d beenbored waiting her reply again, but I’d worried why had I felt likethere’d been something wrong, I couldn't have known.
Ireturned back to my awareness for a while, The Sun Had set and thenight started to come slowly, I didn't know what I should do??? Tosmile or to be sad, laughing or crying but it’d been my fate evenI’d not accepted it, I couldn't know what the decision was aboutsummer vacation.
“It’sunfair to wait for something or be related to it, it’s verypainful, I can never bear all of that, anymore “I’d back to mynightmare with wondering .it’d been hard on me .I couldn't havewaiting anymore. So I became very angry and furious, I would breaksomething. But I didn't because I had mp3 on hand, I started to checkits play list there were a lot of new songs on it I’ve neverbefore. So I listened to song called tell him by Celine Dion. It wasvery beautiful. I couldn’t stop listening to it more, more and moretimes. It made me very happy but the mp3 battery was empty, so itturned off.
Butmy legs had hurt me. So I went to the living room and sat on sofa. Mynightmare hadn’t left my mind, so I started to look at TV screenthat was turned off .then I came back starring at it to remember thelast details of my nightmare. I started to feel bothering. So I cutmy memory chain and looked at the clock, it was 7:05 pm. I fought mymind to stop remembering my memories, but they were running likeriver. River of troubles, I was in. I didn’t stop crying after Ihad it and everyone around me was going like “what’s wrong orwhat’s the matter?” I’d remembered that I’d started to tellmy mother about my nightmare from the start that I’d asked her totake me to the mall.