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Just remember me. (1 Viewer)

knottla

Senior Member
When my time to die is beckoning me on.
I hope I leave a smile
and not a frown.

Believe me when I say,
my whole life has seen
a lot of ups and some downs.



But I fought back with
the love of my family.
To face anything else
this world could throw
at me.


To all my friends and especially
my family.
Don't be sad.


Just remember me.
 

Soma

Member
I don't really know the technicals aspects of poetry for now but I can say that I love the subject and the way you treated it.
I feel like it is a message of hope tinted with despair but also it can be almost like a suicide note
So I hope everything is alright !
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

I agree with Soma, I think the subject and the way in which you handle it is subtle and done with care. There is an emotion that the speaker conveys to the reader that makes the piece worth reading.

Where I think you could strengthen the piece, would be to show me more, it feels like there is a lot of statements being made that I think could be anchored to an image which would really add to what you’re trying to say here.

I hope this helps,

Cheers

Syd
 

knottla

Senior Member
I think it's written from someone dying. Who is leaving these words as a reminder he's experienced a lot in his life, yet without his family and friends he wouldn't have made it this far. So don't be sad when I die. Just Remember Me.
Thank you for your interpretation, there is nothing set in stone as to how it should be interpretated. As for me I'm fine, and thank you for asking Soma. I hope you're alright.
 
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