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Juicy Personnal Experience Essay (1 Viewer)

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
Alright, english teacher wanted us to write a personnal experience essay...this one isn't one of those lame ones. I swear. Advice would truly be appreciated.

Love, I guess it’s something everybody wants. Okay, allow me to rephrase that. It’s something that every teenage girl wishes she had. At one point, I’m pretty sure that each girl has been in love during her teenage years. Some more than others, nevertheless, each one of us has had that experience. Along with the falling desperately in love, comes the experience of having to say no. What exactly is it that makes girls want to do things with these guys? I always ask myself that. What makes them choose to throw away their values and morals in an instant? I finally understood why one rainy Saturday.

I was with this amazingly funny, good-looking guy for almost six months. Now, that’s not a long time for adults, but for a kid, that’s almost an eternity. He and I would hold hands, hug, kiss, you know, the typical teenage stuff. Our relationship wasn’t just based on kissing though. We had our good laughs along with the moments when we just wanted to ring each other’s necks. I remember he would make me laugh so hard sometimes. You know when your milk is about to shoot out your nose, you’re laughing so insanely hard? Yeah, it was about that hard he would make me laugh. I also remember how he could infuriate me. I would just want to strangle him so much!

Back to the rainy Saturday, I hadn’t seen my baby for almost a month for whatever reason. We just kind of looked at each other. He gave me this really big hug and squeezed me tight as if I was going to be taken away. When he let go, he took me by the hand and we started talking about how we missed each other and other nonsense. We came to a quiet area where nobody was around. He leaned down and kissed me. It was just any kiss though. There was this passion and emotion behind it. I could feel how much he cared for me through this kiss. Well, at least I thought I could tell how much he cared for me.

You can just picture it: a deserted area, one teenaged boy, and another teenager of the opposite sex. That can never equal a good outcome. Seriously, it’s common knowledge. We kissed for a pretty long time. His hands would rub my back, hold my hands, feel on my thigh, hold my face, and then start all over again. I should have just pulled away, but I didn’t because I “loved” him so much. He would be constantly telling me how much he loved and cared for me in between kisses. He would start kissing me on my neck and insist that I was the only girl for him. I really do not know how I kept my composure.

He started to feel around for my belt buckle while we were kissing, so I tried the Hold-His-Hands-While-You’re-Kissing trick. It didn’t work for very long. He found my belt buckle once again. Stupidly, I let him undo my belt buckle. I asked him softly, “Baby, what are you doing?” The response I received was, “Mamí, just for a little while, just for a little while, baby.” I love it when you call me that! NO! Belt buckle! Think! NO! Sex is bad. NO SEX! My mind was going crazy. I kept guiding his hands back to my hands so maybe he would stop pressuring me. “Baby, I love you,” he kept insisting and reaching for the button on my jeans. “Baby, I can’t. No. Not here.” I tried to stop him. “Then where, baby? Where?” he asked as he kept kissing me all over. He kept asking to the point where I began to want it too. What? NO! Stop! What are you thinking? I kept telling myself. Maybe I can- No! I’m not going to do anything! Maybe for a little while? No! Stop! I don’t-

My thoughts were cut off by his cell phone ringing. Not surprisingly, I was quite relieved. He had to go home right then. He kissed me again and playfully tugged at my jeans. “I’ll see you later, baby,” he said in between kisses. He grabbed my hand again and led me back to civilization.

That was the last time I saw him. We spoke on the phone a few more times, but that was pretty much it. It was only then that I realized that I had almost given myself to this guy that I had only known for six months. I now understood how some girls were able to give themselves to their boyfriends. I came to sympathize with them. Their boyfriends would tell them all the things that they would want to hear. He tells his girlfriend how much he loves her until she just finally gives in. I think some of the desire comes from his incessant nagging. As much as I enjoyed it, he did become a bit annoying when he continuously told me that he loved me.

I am finally able to see how easily girls are influences by their boyfriends. I am able to understand and relate to the situation even more so now than ever before. I can’t say that I am completely happy with my decision, but to be honest, I’d rather not have and ponder whether or not it was the right decision than to have done it and regret it the rest of my life.


Told you it was juicy...lol
 

demonic_harmonic

Senior Member
My juicy story:


One day, a guy I really liked was trying to pressure me into having more of a physical relationship with him. I told him no. He told me yes.

I told him to go **** himself, and never talked to him again.


Not sure if I really agree that girls are easily influenced by their boyfriends, it all depends on the type of person you are, and what you are willing to succumb to. Overall a good essay, though you might want to post a little warning on the top. I know it says juicy, but just put how juicy it is lol.
 

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
are you trying to be sarcastic?

I mean, seriously, don't you think that the teacher gets annoyed with all the same shitty essays? I tried to actually write about something that people could relate to...I mean, yeah, I know that every girl is not going to spread her legs for her boyfriend, but with all the peer pressure and all that other crap...you know what I'm trying to say???

Oh well...I guess I'll just add it to the trash pile...
 
G

Guest

"You know when your milk is about to shoot out your nose, you’re laughing so insanely hard? Yeah, it was about that hard he would make me laugh."

Oh dear. Let's be serious about this. You can barely construct a coherent sentence. What hope do you have?

I think demonic_harmonic hit the nail on the head - your essay doesn't say anything which people have not heard a thousand times before. It's cliched teen drivel.

I notice that you said "I guess I'll just add it to the trash pile". The implication - that this isn't the first essay you've felt forced to abandon to the scrap heap - says something about your talent as a writer. I'll let you, as an American once said, "do the math".
 

demonic_harmonic

Senior Member
I don't know if they get tired of the same old boring essays. Our teacher encourages creativity so much that I have written a 10 page story where Sherlock Holmes and Edgar Alan Poe have to battle gay pirates in order to save Watson, with the aid of Batman and Robin. Was it off the wall? Oh yes. Was it well written and got full credit? Yes. In all honesty, I wouldnt want to read about a student's sex life. Would you want to read about your teacher's?

I never said it was a bad essay, did you take notice to that? I just thought that, before posting your intimate details, make a note at the top about exactly how personal it gets.
 

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
demonic,
naw...cuz you said here's my juicy story...or something...

yeah, and I get what you're saying about the sex life. but I knew my teacher was cool about stuff like that, so I felt free to write about it. She actually wants to put it in the school newspaper. She was very impressed and pleased with this essay.

Um, as for that comment about me not knowing how to write a sentence...can you point out any MORE sentences that I did not write correctly? I'd really like it if you could point them out so I can fix them...thanks

And I didn't mean that there were more essays in the "trash pile" just writings...I guess writing is like photography, you know cuz you usually have to take a whole entire roll to actually just get one good shot? Well, I guess you have to write a lot to actually get one good piece of writing. I guess I should I have explained myself a little bit more...

And um...last time I checked...I'm still only 16 years of age...that doesn't give me much experience to actually write a personal experience essay that actually has depth and meaning to it...

And not to be a bitch, but I don't know what English class you are taking but my teacher would fail me if I were to turn in a 10 page story about dead writers fighting gay pirates...despite how creative it is...Our teachers have been concentrating on us being able to write papers with claims, data, and warrants...but hey, whatever floats your teachers boat!!!
 

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
demonic,
naw...cuz you said here's my juicy story...or something...

yeah, and I get what you're saying about the sex life. but I knew my teacher was cool about stuff like that, so I felt free to write about it. She actually wants to put it in the school newspaper. She was very impressed and pleased with this essay.

Um, as for that comment about me not knowing how to write a sentence...can you point out any MORE sentences that I did not write correctly? I'd really like it if you could point them out so I can fix them...thanks

And I didn't mean that there were more essays in the "trash pile" just writings...I guess writing is like photography, you know cuz you usually have to take a whole entire roll to actually just get one good shot? Well, I guess you have to write a lot to actually get one good piece of writing. I guess I should I have explained myself a little bit more...

And um...last time I checked...I'm still only 16 years of age...that doesn't give me much experience to actually write a personal experience essay that actually has depth and meaning to it...

And not to be a bitch, but I don't know what English class you are taking but my teacher would fail me if I were to turn in a 10 page story about dead writers fighting gay pirates...despite how creative it is...Our teachers have been concentrating on us being able to write papers with claims, data, and warrants...but hey, whatever floats your teachers boat!!! ;-P
 

mammamaia

Senior Member
mamita...

this IS an 'impressive' essay from one your age!...

ignore any who are dissing it and/or you... not only is it better-written than much i see from older writers here, but it's honest and real... it puts the reader right there with you!... you're truly gifted, nina, so keep on writing and don't let unknowing and possibly envious detractors get to ya, ok?

love and hugs, maia

ps: to approximate the correct format when posting work on the net, you have to change indents to line spaces... leaving it all in a block makes it hard to read and some may think you didn't format it properly in the original version...
 

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
thanks mammamaia...I feel special...lol

damn it...i saw him today...a bunch of emotions came running through me...mostly hatred...I guess that's a good thing...like one of my friends once said, "Is it bad if I want his head to errupt in flames now??" lol
 

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
my teacher said that I should submit this to a teen magazine (of course, it's the newer and edited version which is about 10 times better!! j/k) Does anyone know how I would go about doing that?
 

Delimetrius

Senior Member
I thought that this was a very good essay. It was already mentioned up there but it puts the reader in the shoes of the writer. very well done.
As far as grammer and spelling goes, dont count on me. I can never pick those out of a story unless I read it about fifty times.
 

stigmatax

Senior Member
I notice that you said "I guess I'll just add it to the trash pile". The implication - that this isn't the first essay you've felt forced to abandon to the scrap heap - says something about your talent as a writer. I'll let you, as an American once said, "do the math".[/quote]

lol Nice Comment
 
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