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Intro sentences (1 Viewer)

Snelbrouler

Senior Member
Haven't written any stories yet, but I'll make up a few here:

"Music was the language of the [insert fantasy race], and their last son was born a mute."

"It's been years since I last saw my grandfather, and a day since I learned of his death."

"They said drowning would be the worst way to die; I can now confirm that to be true."
 
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Serra

Senior Member
Ooh I did this recently following a writing exercise book that told me to start in the middle of things...



  1. He did not cry or scream; the look in his round baby-bright eyes told me that even then, such behaviour was beneath him.
  2. Chasing the moon is a stupid way to grow old, but the sun was almost always hidden by clouds so the moon seemed like the best option.
  3. They say that blood is thicker than water, and I can attest to that for I’ve nearly drowned in both.
  4. Toasting forks make surprisingly good weapons when you're desperate.
 

Writer-1

Senior Member
The smell of sex and death permeated the room, causing Dracula to feel an emotion he had never felt before: fear.
 

Teb

Senior Member
Misty tendrils clawed their way up the river bank, twisting and snaking silently through the undergrowth.
 

Myk3y

Senior Member
"I've always distrusted dentists and barbers. Thieves the lot of them."

"The rain crashed around them like the physical embodiment of white noise on a speaker. So heavy that the reflected mist bouncing off the paving stones would soak you through."

"I can hear the sound of the grinder downstairs. She'll be up with my coffee soon. How can I tell her? Should I?"
 

seigfried007

Senior Member
THE CAT DOESN’T COME HOME TILL YOU’RE ASLEEP!” Havens yelled as he spun my body around, his face over me, contorted in rage, utterly drenched and gleaming hellishly under the halogen lamps and lightning.
 

JustRob

FoWF
WF Veterans
My best opening line to my novel clearly isn't written yet but maybe I've just come up with a way of finding it. My problem hasn't just been choosing an opening line for my novel but choosing exactly where to start the story, given that one can easily play around with the presentation order of events subsequently to fit them in. Therefore the answer may be to find something that one has already written and work out how to bring that to the beginning of the story to make it the first line. Clearly many offerings already posted here imply that relevant events have occurred earlier and will be revealed subsequently.

One opening line that I tried just to make the first words of the story ludicrously "THE END" was as follows. I can probably type them right now from memory.

THE END -- That was it, the only possible end to this story. Her straw-stacking camel-driver of a boyfriend was history!

Not bad -- Plenty of back story and scene setting there already within a few words but a bit gimmicky. My next and indeed current effort was as below.

‘Oh Moonlight, you look as though you’ve been eclipsed.’

Distinctly weird now, opening with unattributed dialogue so still bucking against the rules, but it seemed to work in a way with the context that quickly unfolded.

I've not given up searching even though I've given up rewriting the novel at present. Just thinking through my current first chapter I noticed the following that might provide the opportunity for a good opening line if rewritten. There is certainly an intriguing opening idea there.

‘Am I dreaming?’ she said out loud, if that was possible in a dream. Certainly it was the only thing that she’d intended him to hear.

The slim figure replied, ‘I’m afraid I really couldn’t say,’ adding, ‘but I think I am.’

‘This will never do, wasting time debating ownership of a dream,’ she thought, ‘Perhaps we could share it.’

Maybe the idea of two people both believing that the other could be imaginary is central enough to my story to merit being signalled in the opening lines, but the idea literally only came to mind when I just noticed this thread, so I'd need to think about it. It is said that readers dislike sequences in stories turning out to be dreams, but one that is clearly presented up front as a dream but one where it isn't clear who is actually the dreamer may be more acceptable.

Regardless of my problem the general principle may be relevant, that you may already have written your best possible opening line but you simply didn't put it at the beginning of your story. It's worth thinking about, not just what your best opening line is but where it is currently.
 

undead_av

Senior Member
1.) The little boat was tossed to and fro among the huge, frothing waves.
2.)
It never cost Nya Blackblood a coin to earn passage across the sea.
3.)
The sand whipped up the girl's flowing pant legs, stinging her ankles.
4.) Jaziah was dreaming of oranges again.

 
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