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Inner Peace (1 Viewer)

CarolFa

Senior Member
stems from the universe
found in the forest
an undeniable smell
earth's greatest perfume
it sends vibrations
to the soul
it heals

barefoot touching the sand
water beckoning
submerged by the ocean
a place called home
every inch taken
by the waves
of the sea
floating on one's back
receiving the sun's heat
then the jellyfish position
eyes open
curiosity follows
the life beneath

the sky offers
blue in color
with some clouds
observing its formation
colors and size
the speed its going
will they all collide?

Sounds of birds conversing
curiosity unfolding
spring and fall
makes this hiding game
harder on them all

The wind has its own force
a welcome breeze
sailor's delight
tumbling of chairs
power of darkness
can soon be its plight

Sanity waged on beauty
Peace found out there
Elements that can save you
With just one glance
 

Phil Istine

WF Veterans
I quite like this one and how you convey inner peace in the first two stanzas. If it ended after the second stanza that would have been fine too for me.
I like stanzas 3, 4, and 5 too, but they each end on a slightly less peaceful note referencing collision, hardness, and plight. These feel like they interrupt the theme of inner peace a little, but I love the poem anyway.
 

CarolFa

Senior Member
Yes, thanks for pointing that out. I totally understand what you are saying. It's great to get this feedback. I had not noticed it but as soon as I read collide, I thought to myself, what else did I say that would oppose inner peace and there were other words - sanity etc. I appreciate your feedback and thank you.
 
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