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Inner Child (1 Viewer)

CarolFa

Senior Member
Inner Child

Please take my hand
Inner child
the one who is lost
Please take my hand
follow me through
this dark tunnel
Please take my hand
Beautiful
Innocent child
Please take my hand
Let's find our way
You belong here
You are loved
Please take my hand
No more hiding
Safety in reach
I see the light
Please take my hand,
it will take us to a place
where you'll be whole
free to live, love, laugh
and be Happy
 

Cris V

Senior Member
Carol, I like this a lot and the thought of bringing our inner child to a place where he/she is happy and whole. I've worked on this myself quite a bit over the years so I feel this poem deeply.

I think the repetition of "Please take my hand" a little too much. I think taking some of those out would strengthen the poem. As well, I'd take out L2. Your title already tells us this is about the inner child. Something like this:

Please take my hand
Inner child
the one who is lost
Please take my hand
follow me through
this dark tunnel
Please take my hand
Beautiful
Innocent child
Please take my hand
Let's find our way
You belong here
You are loved
Please take my hand
No more hiding
Safety in reach
I see the light
Please take my hand,
it will take us to a place
where you'll be whole
free to live, love, laugh
and be Happy
 

Namyh

Senior Member
CarolF-a - Makes me fondly remember taking my own kids' hands and guiding them so very long, long ago.. I liked this CF-a and thanks for the memories. Namyh
 

CarolFa

Senior Member
CarolF-a - Makes me fondly remember taking my own kids' hands and guiding them so very long, long ago.. I liked this CF-a and thanks for the memories. Namyh
Thank you - I've come to realize that our inner child has been with us the longest and sometimes neglected.
 
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