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If I Hadn't ... (1 Viewer)

Serendipity

Senior Member
If I hadn’t married my first and second husbands

If I hadn’t skipped Algebra class

If I hadn’t dumped Kenny Anderson

If I hadn’t blown smoke rings In the girls’ bathroom

If I hadn’t always stuck up for the underdog

If I hadn’t majored in cheerleading

If I hadn’t been a bum magnet

If I hadn’t been so sensitive

If I hadn’t been so down on myself

If I hadn’t changed jobs

If I hadn’t sold my Chevrolet Impala

If I hadn’t been my own worst enemy

If I hadn’t dropped out of junior college

If I hadn’t changed my hair color

If I hadn’t spent my inheritance

If I hadn’t been so emotional

my life would have been perfect.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
I like this! It's true, we can be so busy with regret that we don't really get to live life as it is and it can be a beautiful mess.

One request: "Chevy Impala" sounds more natural to me.
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
The concept of this is good, but the repeat on the If I hadn't is a little numbing to the senses as a reader...16 times. 48 words of finite word choice hammering the reader. It is akin to an endless repeat of Baby Shark.

Use less for a greater impact. Consided making it the opening line using an ellipse, start the next line with married. Offset the spacing of the list lines so they align with the end of the opening ellipse. This will bring visual interest to the piece and remove the baby shark weight of 16 repeats.
 
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Namyh

Senior Member
Serendipity - We human beings need our regrets but if we dwell on the past, we often screw up the present. Yet, if we ignore the past, there's a good chance we may screw up the future. And there we are the human race, diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Enjoyed your work of "Ifs". Namyh
 
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