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I Wanted The Farmhouse To Have Personality (1 Viewer)

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
I realised I'd not actually described the farmhouse in Apparition quite a while ago and now I've decided to add it in. What I want though is for it to have a personality rather than it just being a building. I've kept detail at a minimum because I intend to weave a little of that detail into other scenes when appropriate. This represents just a couple of passes mainly aimed at tightening but I feel it aint bad. What do you think? I've put it just after Arthur looks out of the bedroom window and just before Sarah joins him there.

As beautiful as Eldmoore valley was, it hadn’t been the deciding factor. That had been the farmhouse itself. If the heavens threw all it had at the valley, even when everything else was raised to the ground, this little bully of a building would still be standing. ‘Cosy’ had been the descriptive in the brochure but when viewing, Arthur thought ‘bulldog’ more apt. A resolute stone guard.

Every room was minimalist and functional, the narrow stairs and landing underlined this build philosophy. The choppy, thick brickwork and woodwork solidified it even further. Cool to the touch and solid to a knuckle.

Sarah fell in love with the kitchen stroke living room, with its extended worktop partitioning the two halves. Both loved the woodwork, cut roughly, battered and scratched but smoothed as if hauled from the sea a millennia ago. The flagstone floor and queen posts with cross beams above brought the whole thing together, and at night, when the wall lights were lit, shadows criss-crossed the V of the gable ceiling.
 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
What's the architecture style?

I know this is Europe, but when I describe American homes I always mention if they are Georgian, Federalist, etc.

I like the description of the interior decoration and the woodwork. "as if hauled from the sea a millennia ago" was evocative.

Not sure why you're calling the house a "bully." That invokes a negative emotion.
 

Taylor

Friends of WF
Very beautiful visual! It's the type of place I dream of. You can't find them in Canada. My husband is from England, so we visit the Uk often. My nephew and his wife took an old stone house in Cornwall and completely renovated it. It started off a lot like your description.

This building works well with your story, she being an artist would relish living in this type of minimalist romantic setting. Just one thing that popped out. When you describe the "worktop", at first I thought it was a typo. But on second read I realized it is a kitchen island. (That's what we call them in NA) It works, but just wondering about the audience. Also, I LOVE the concept of the cross beams in the shadows. But wasn't sure when you said "above", where that is.

But good work...this is my type of read!

 
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TheMightyAz

Senior Member
What's the architecture style?

I know this is Europe, but when I describe American homes I always mention if they are Georgian, Federalist, etc.

I like the description of the interior decoration and the woodwork. "as if hauled from the sea a millennia ago" was evocative.

Not sure why you're calling the house a "bully." That invokes a negative emotion.

Bully in the context I'm suggesting means stubborn, unyielding. But it also represents Arthur, who's stubborn and unyielding :)

Very beautiful visual! It's the type of place I dream of. You can't find them in Canada. My husband is from England, so we visit the Uk often. My nephew and his wife took an old stone house in Cornwall and completely renovated it. It started off a lot like your description.

This building works well with your story, she being an artist would relish living in this type of minimalist romantic setting. Just one thing that popped out. When you describe the "worktop", at first I thought it was a typo. But on second read I realized it is a kitchen island. (That's what we call them in NA) It works, but just wondering about the audience. Also, I LOVE the concept of the cross beams in the shadows. But wasn't sure when you said "above", where that is.

But good work...this is my type of read!


Yeah, I'll have to do some research to see if there's a British equivalent of 'kitchen island'. It just sounded too modern for my needs but, like I said, this is pretty much hot off the press and may change a little more yet. I'm sticking with British English for now. If I'm lucky enough to get anything published, then perhaps I'll write for a bigger audience, which is American English. I'm stubborn and unyielding though ...
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
Little typo "razed" instead of "raised" in this case.

"kitchen stroke living room"? I'm confused.

"Bully" is a little unusual but makes sense in context especially when followed by "bulldog".

Unfamiliar with some of the terms like 'queen posts' and I'm guessing without being certain that lumber was "pulled from the sea" because that's how it was transported? Or am I not seeing something that's obvious because I'm tired? Neither thing would be an issue for me reading this, though, it all rolls along in context pretty well.
 

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
Little typo "razed" instead of "raised" in this case.

"kitchen stroke living room"? I'm confused.

"Bully" is a little unusual but makes sense in context especially when followed by "bulldog".

Unfamiliar with some of the terms like 'queen posts' and I'm guessing without being certain that lumber was "pulled from the sea" because that's how it was transported? Or am I not seeing something that's obvious because I'm tired? Neither thing would be an issue for me reading this, though, it all rolls along in context pretty well.

'Kitchen/living room'. I need to rewrite that bit I think. 'as if' pulled from the sea. Not literally pulled from the sea. I might change it to king post. It's the one I was thinking of:

maxresdefault.jpg
 

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
Nice, I like the King post idea. I didn't know enough architecture but pictures help. :)

It's research! Yes, I did some! Yey ... (I hate it). Before I give this the final passes, I'm going to read up on farming. I'm really not looking forward to it.
 

Taylor

Friends of WF
'Kitchen/living room'. I need to rewrite that bit I think. 'as if' pulled from the sea. Not literally pulled from the sea. I might change it to king post. It's the one I was thinking of:

maxresdefault.jpg

Oh now that makes more sense with the crosses "above". I get it! I was thinking before that the queen posts where on the island or on the banister.
 

LCLee

Senior Member
i think it works well, AZ. Being a country boy myself I pictured a black stove with kindling lying next to it.

There were a few things that caught my eye and instead of Both loved the woodwork, cut roughly, I would use: woodwork rough sawn.

The gable always grabs me as an external feature.. the wall lights were lit, shadows criss-crossed the V of the gable ceiling...Maybe say.. cast shadows of the large beams.
One other was the wall lights could be gas lights to give it more of an old time feel.
 

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
i think it works well, AZ. Being a country boy myself I pictured a black stove with kindling lying next to it.

There were a few things that caught my eye and instead of Both loved the woodwork, cut roughly, I would use: woodwork rough sawn.

The gable always grabs me as an external feature.. the wall lights were lit, shadows criss-crossed the V of the gable ceiling...Maybe say.. cast shadows of the large beams.
One other was the wall lights could be gas lights to give it more of an old time feel.

I wanted the cuts in the wood to be seen as scars on the 'bully' of the building but I think using the right term is better there. I'll change it to what you suggested. Gable ceiling ... yeah. I tried to find the right word for the V inside but couldn't. All I could find was gable. I'll change that too. Do you know the correct terminology for that? Gas lights I'm not sure about. It depends on how I develop the story and what I go back and add in. Initially, I had the idea of having a modern fridge and a modern cooker, and everything else old fashioned. I thought I could play with the idea of the two modern things being Sarah and Arthur. I haven't decided which would be the cooker and which would be the fridge yet, although so far I think perhaps Sarah would be the cooker and Arthur would be the fridge.

edit: Perhaps I should also mention, it's going to become a place of worship.
 

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
Revision 1:

As beautiful as Eldmoore valley was, it hadn’t been the deciding factor. That had been the farmhouse itself. If the heavens threw all it had at the valley, even with everything razed to the ground, this little bully of a building would still be standing. ‘Cosy’ had been the descriptive in the brochure but Arthur thought ‘bulldog’ more apt. A resolute stone sentinel.

Every room was minimalist and functional, the narrow stairs and landing underlined this build philosophy. The choppy, thick brickwork and woodwork solidified it even further. Cool to the touch and solid to a knuckle.

Sarah loved the all in one kitchen and living room, with its extended worktop partitioning the two halves. Both loved the woodwork, rough sawn, battered and scratched but smoothed, as if hauled from the sea a millennia ago. The flagstone floor and king posts with cross beams brought the whole thing together, and at night, when the wall lights were lit, shadows criss-crossed the V of the ceiling.
 
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bazz cargo

Retired Supervisor
Before modern tools. In the UK.

I'll give you 'bloody Narnia!' :(
Okay
Most buildings in the country, unless built by mega-rich show-offs, are made up of stuff scavenged locally. No proper roads to move material around. A straight line was near enough. Spirit levels were how much alcohol they had drunk. Most buildings have different level floors between rooms.

Most have grown by adding bits on over the years. They can be stone original with brick extensions. All shapes of chimney pots. Usually smallish windows. Proper doors are split like stables.

Nothing 'square.' No foundations. No damp course.

Damp was a major problem. Usually solved by wooden cladding on the inside.

Victorians were fond of what my brother-in-law calls, dildo rails.

Modern upgrades have fixed the damp problems, and made them light and airy.



https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/farmhouse

As you can see,
 

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
Okay
Most buildings in the country, unless built by mega-rich show-offs, are made up of stuff scavenged locally. No proper roads to move material around. A straight line was near enough. Spirit levels were how much alcohol they had drunk. Most buildings have different level floors between rooms.

Most have grown by adding bits on over the years. They can be stone original with brick extensions. All shapes of chimney pots. Usually smallish windows. Proper doors are split like stables.

Nothing 'square.' No foundations. No damp course.

Damp was a major problem. Usually solved by wooden cladding on the inside.

Victorians were fond of what my brother-in-law calls, dildo rails.

Modern upgrades have fixed the damp problems, and made them light and airy.



https://www.istockphoto.com/photos/farmhouse

As you can see,

Yeah, that's the sort of image I was going for. Sort of haphazard and yet sturdy.
 

TheMightyAz

Senior Member
Revision 2:

As beautiful as Eldmoore Valley was, it hadn’t been the deciding factor. That had been the farmhouse itself. If the heavens threw everything it could muster at the valley, even with all else razed to the ground, this little bully of a building would still be standing. A resolute stone sentinel.

Every room was minimalist and functional, the narrow stairs and landing underlined this build philosophy. The choppy, thick bricks and twisted wood solidified it further. Cool to the palm and hard to a knuckle.

Sarah adored the all in one kitchen come living room, with its extended worktop partitioning the two halves. Both loved the woodwork, rough hewed, gnarled and knotty, smoothed as if honed by the ocean a millennia ago. The flagstone floor and king posts with cross beams brought the whole thing together. At night, when the wall lights shone, shadows criss-crossed the V of the ceiling.

I need to bring in a chilled iron smell somewhere. I distinctly remember that smell! The flagstones seems the obvious place but I've given it a go and don't like it. I'll rethink for revision 3.

I tried 'ferric' but, even though it's right, it felt like one of those thesaurus moments. Maybe if I tie it in with a little alliteration it might alleviate that feeling.

'A delicate ferric scent permeated the flagstones, cool and acute, a reminder of the bedrock on which it's built.'
'A delicate ferric scent permeated the flagstones, cool and acute, a treasure of the bedrock on which it's built.'
'A delicate ferric scent permeated the flagstones, cool and acute, a gift from the bedrock on which it's built.'

Er ... I don't know ... There's something there but I can't quite get it yet.

Revision 3:

As beautiful as Eldmoore Valley was, it hadn’t been the deciding factor. That had been the farmhouse itself. If the heavens threw everthing it could muster at the valley, even with all else razed to the ground, this little bully of a building would still be standing. A resolute stone sentinel.

Every room was minimalist and functional, the narrow stairs and landing underlined this build philosophy. The choppy, thick bricks and twisted wood solidified it further. Cool to the palm and hard to a knuckle.

Sarah adored the all in one kitchen come living room, with its extended worktop partitioning the two halves. Both loved the woodwork, rough hewed, gnarled and knotty, smoothed as if honed by the ocean a millennia ago. An exquisite ferric scent permeated the flagstone flooring, earthy and acute, a gift from the bedrock. Bold king posts with cross beams united the tenor, and at night, when the wall lights shone, shadows criss-crossed the V of the ceiling.

'design' instead of 'scene'? 'united the tenor'? I'm getting there!

Can you unite a 'tenor'? Maybe 'ensemble'? Naaaa ...
 
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TheMightyAz

Senior Member
So, this is what I've finally settled on.

As beautiful as Eldmoore Valley was, it hadn’t been the deciding factor when scouting for a new home. That had been the farmhouse. If the heavens rained hell itself upon the valley, even with all else razed to the ground, this resolute stone sentinel would still be standing.

Each room was simple and functional, while the narrow stairs and landing underlined this build philosophy. The choppy, thick bricks and twisted wood solidified it further. Cool to the palm and hard to a knuckle.

Sarah adored the all in one kitchen-cum-living room, with its extended worktop partitioning the two halves. Both loved the woodwork, rough hewed, gnarled and knotty, smoothed as if honed by the ocean a millennia ago. An exquisite earthy scent permeated the flagstone flooring, ferric and acute, a gift from the bedrock. Bold king posts with cross beams united the design, and at night, when the wall lights shone, shadows criss-crossed the V of the ceiling.
 
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