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I Live the Perfect Lie (1 Viewer)

Mew_Riles

Senior Member
And everyone believes it.

"You must be so confident to wear that."
You don't know the half of it. Its a comment I hear often, and thats a typical thought afterwards. I wear costumes to school. Interesting trade to be known by. Ballet shoes, fluff dresses, vinyl domimatrix dress, Skirts on top of longer skirts. Bizzare makeup- and the occassional wig. At first everyone was weirded out by it, but after a while I faded into the background. Well... not really. You never really do fade wearing a doll dress. Everyone just thought I was really confident. Well, they are only high schoolers. You can't expect the lot of them to have too deep of a thought. They couldnt possibly think there was a deeper matter. Heck, they made fun of me for 18 years about my weight thinking it had no impact... Which is the reason I do this.

You would think weird costumes would only draw to the fact that I am fat. I thought so too, but I figured I had not much else to lose. But the costumes give them something else to make fun of. "Look she's wearing a halloween costume!" Notice, there is not an overweight parody in there.
I did it again. More giggles, but never my weight.
I came as a boy to school
No one really knew it was me though. (I have no boobs. Great combination, huh?)
Untill i got to class and had to sit in my seat... then everyone wanted to see my penis. If only. Although my friend said I was a very sexy man
As oppsed to a beautiful girl
Finally my cat ears. The trademark. Fifty years from now I could walk into the streets with my cat ears on. If someone from my school saw me, they would stop em and say "...Amy?" Its still my official trademark. If I was abducted by aliens, and they posed as me, if they werent wearing cat ears, they would know it was an alien.
Then some copy "cat" took the idea for her own. I stopped wearing them for a little while.
Capes with a gothic gown. I was called a witch so many times I believed it. I made people think i put a hex on them. One guy freaked, he was practically begging me to stop chanting, but I pretended I was in meditation. By the end of class I let him know he was an idiot.
The girl took the cape idea as well. I havent worn a cape since. It sits in my garage
But I started my cat ears again.
Protests at school, challenging authority, costumes, makeup, glam rock and wiccia...
But at least they werent making fun of my weight.

I live a perfect lie. Nobody knows it but me. I'm either a freak, or confident.
I am only the freak.
But they'll never know.
Who cares?
I'm just the fat kid without the costume.
They never asked me then if something was wrong...
Why would they ask me that now?

The costumes are almost cast aside in good company, but the weird outfits make me stand out. I'll do whatever I have to do to make them believe I am somebody I'm not.
Because I think they like "Amy" compared to me.

***
Short section from my "Its Not All Its Cracked Up To Be: Life of the teen drama"
The book is basically the life of an overweight teen batteling with depression, anxiety, paranoia, and an eating obsession/disorder.
This is the opening.
The true stories about my life.
 

Straylight

Senior Member
I'd rather be hated for the person I am, than loved (or tolerated) for a person I'm not. I hope your character learns that ;). A couple of wording/grammar/semantical errors in here. Some dundering prose in places. Practice will iron them out, so keep writing.

I have to wonder what it is about this story that is unique, though. What makes your teen angst book different from the countless others? I read your opening here and I don't feel the required sympathy for your character. I see what you're trying to do, but it's been done. We know, high school sucks. People are superficial. Popularity is based on all the wrong triggers. There's nothing new in that.

Obviously I can't judge your book by this exerpt. It's entirely possible that you have a different spin on this matter than everyone else that's tried to spin it, but if I were a reader in a store and I read this opening, I wouldn't really be engaged... All it is is another story about how shitty high-school is, narrated by a typically myopic, angsty high schooler.

There are pieces of obvious talent in here. You don't get over-telly, you don't try to pander for the obvious emotional appeals. Your opening line was interesting enough to get me to open the thread, and your potential was enough to get me to comment, but I really, really hope you find another, less played-out subject to tackle. Embrace your past, and you can grow beyond it. Use it as a crutch, and you'll never soar higher.

Best of luck!

~SL
 

Mew_Riles

Senior Member
The reason I think my book is different is because, even though in the opening it really explains about how the teenager deals with problems, it is actually a humorous book. In the first chapter that I will be posting soon Amy comes across her enemy teacher, Mrs. Mitchell who likes to wear safari and rainforest paint and dress shirt ensemble. She is also nuts. Most of the humor is sarcastic and dry
I've read a lot of teen nonfiction books. They're depressing. This is a character who is depressed, for numerous reasons, but also doesnt get the reader down about it.
 
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