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How to avoid a boring climax? (1 Viewer)

Joker

Senior Member
Hi folks, so my outline is pretty much finished and I really like it, there's just one problem I'm stuck on. I don't know how not to make the climax really boring.

So to bring you guys up to speed, my two private eyes, Corrit and Silver, will manage to trace a device back to a hitman, Hau, that he used to crash a woman's car and murder her. I don't mind having Nyssa, the woman who hired Hau, simply arrested to wrap things up. But Hau is a career murderer and I don't think he should go down that easy. It's not a very gripping climax, I don't think.

Any ideas?
 

Taylor

Staff member
Global Moderator
Can he be alerted somehow and try to make a run for it? A chase ensues. He gets killed in some ironic way, of his own making during the chase. That's always satisfying for the reader, knowing that he cannot possibly get off of the charges and go free.
 

robertn51

Friends of WF
There's a funny thing about plot-lines: They turn a story into crispy brown flakes.

I mean, for example....

"authorities from the future send an agent back in time to save the world"

... is true for both "The Terminator" and "12 Monkeys" and those movies were absolutely nothing alike. And they were deeply satisfying for completely different reasons.

So maybe what you're looking at isn't the problem you're feeling?

The story, and its climax and resolution, is how you execute that plot line to get there, what your characters (both protag and antags) had to go through, what stood in their way, where they were wrong, where they failed and still found success, and maybe even where and how they changed something about their relationship with themselves and the universe.

More?

The first three seasons of "The Wire" ends with
the arrest and finally ironclad indictment of gangster Avon Barksdale and his crew.
(And with a crap-ton of other personal and municipal subplots either pinched-off or resolved) And it was not at all a boring journey how we got there. It was terrific, terrifying, gripping, eye-opening, some of the most memorable moments of modern television writing, direction, and production.

So. Rhetorical question for thought: How did Corrit get there? What does Hau throw at him and Silver to prevent his arrest? What does Hau have to lose, to fight for? How does Hau (it/he/she/they?) even know they are at risk? And why does it matter to them?

In there -- in the Hows and Whys, not the Whats -- is the juice you're looking for? Maybe?

[2021-07-27 1218]
 

indianroads

Staff member
Global Moderator
If he isn't caught, there's no proof that Nyssa hired him to kill two people. And that's just sad and a big waste of Corrit’s time.
Could you repaint the killer and the person that hired him such that they are planning to kill again - since they got away with it so easily?
 

Joker

Senior Member
There's a funny thing about plot-lines: They turn a story into crispy brown flakes.

I mean, for example....

"authorities from the future send an agent back in time to save the world"

... is true for both "The Terminator" and "12 Monkeys" and those movies were absolutely nothing alike. And they were deeply satisfying for completely different reasons.

So maybe what you're looking at isn't the problem you're feeling?

The story, and its climax and resolution, is how you execute that plot line to get there, what your characters (both protag and antags) had to go through, what stood in their way, where they were wrong, where they failed and still found success, and maybe even where and how they changed something about their relationship with themselves and the universe.

More?

The first three seasons of "The Wire" ends with
the arrest and finally ironclad indictment of gangster Avon Barksdale and his crew.
(And with a crap-ton of other personal and municipal subplots either pinched-off or resolved) And it was not at all a boring journey how we got there. It was terrific, terrifying, gripping, eye-opening, some of the most memorable moments of modern television writing, direction, and production.

So. Rhetorical question for thought: How did Corrit get there? What does Hau throw at him and Silver to prevent his arrest? What does Hau have to lose, to fight for? How does Hau (it/he/she/they?) even know they are at risk? And why does it matter to them?

In there -- in the Hows and Whys, not the Whats -- is the juice you're looking for? Maybe?

[2021-07-27 1218]

Hau is a (human) male.

Well, considering he's killed a lot more than just the two people he's going to over the course of the novel, he's facing life with hard labor if he's lucky.

He could get tipped off at any point, when Silver goes poking around the database of the car he wrecked, or when Corrit goes around asking shops about the device he used, or something else. He's probably got connections all over the district.

If he was alerted... I don't know what he'd do. Fleeing won't do him any good unless he tries the space equivalent of going to Mexico.

Huh. Maybe he tries defecting to the Vespian Empire. That's where Corrit was from (he used to be a border guard before defecting himself to human space.) That would be ironic.
 

Joker

Senior Member
Could you repaint the killer and the person that hired him such that they are planning to kill again - since they got away with it so easily?

Nyssa's probably had her fill. She had her husband (Wilbur) and his lover bumped off, so she has revenge and her pocketbook full.

Hau, though, is a hitman and he's not gonna stop until someone stops him. Doesn't matter who hires him.
 

indianroads

Staff member
Global Moderator
Nyssa's probably had her fill. She had her husband (Wilbur) and his lover bumped off, so she has revenge and her pocketbook full.

Hau, though, is a hitman and he's not gonna stop until someone stops him. Doesn't matter who hires him.
Can you add that to your plot - yes, Nyssa needs to pay for what she did, but perhaps add a thread that's about stopping a potential serial killer?
 

Taylor

Staff member
Global Moderator
If he was alerted... I don't know what he'd do. Fleeing won't do him any good unless he tries the space equivalent of going to Mexico.

Huh. Maybe he tries defecting to the Vespian Empire. That's where Corrit was from (he used to be a border guard before defecting himself to human space.) That would be ironic.
What won't fleeing do him any good? I like the sound of this idea. Can he crash in space? Something like the crash of the woman he killed.
 

robertn51

Friends of WF
Huh. Maybe he tries defecting to the Vespian Empire. That's where Corrit was from (he used to be a border guard before defecting himself to human space.) That would be ironic.

There you go. That kind of thinking will bring you good things, elevate the story.

Also, maybe I've missed something here. Who hired Corrit? Why is there a PI in the game when it seems a mere police matter? Corrit's motivations are, to the other side. to Hau, his weaknesses. A good bad guy will play into that without remorse.
 

Joker

Senior Member
What won't fleeing do him any good? I like the sound of this idea. Can he crash in space? Something like the crash of the woman he killed.

Well, I don't think civilians can just pilot their own private spacecraft without tons of bureaucracy. Otherwise, you would have a hundred 9/11s every day.

I could do something like have him board a ship though and Corrit has to reach out to the Vespian Imperial authorities. That would be tense and awkward.
 

Joker

Senior Member
There you go. That kind of thinking will bring you good things, elevate the story.

Also, maybe I've missed something here. Who hired Corrit? Why is there a PI in the game when it seems a mere police matter? Corrit's motivations are, to the other side. to Hau, his weaknesses. A good bad guy will play into that without remorse.

There's an interesting answer to all that, but it's not really relevant to this thread so I can PM you if you really wanna know.
 

robertn51

Friends of WF
I can PM you if you really wanna know.

Thanks, but I should step back.

I want to be a Beta Reader and, because of that, I should not be participating in the details of the work like this.

I should come to the story during Beta without foreknowledge and preconception and let the text spin the story up on its own from its beginnings.

I'll wait. Thanks.

[2021-07-27 1739]
 
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