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How does this make you feel? (1 Viewer)



I don't think I have any expectations of what is to come from this...

I guess you could say it was the beginning of a new era. I already noticed things starting to change and it didn’t bother me and that’s not implying that I was excited. I felt neutral. It’s not that I didn’t care about things, it’s just that what you believe tends to affect your behavior. What I believed affected my behavior but not to the extent that it should. Nothing ever seemed like enough so why should I bother anyway.

That’s what was occupying my mind while standing in line at the shoe store. This shoe store was located inside a complex filled with unnecessary material item merchants, what you would call a shopping mall. I was acquiring a new pair of work boots and they happened to be the same kind I was currently wearing. I needed these boots because the ones I was sporting had ripped along the inside arch of either foot, they soaked up molecules made up of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom like a sponge. I felt as if I was above everyone else in this complex because I actually had a need for what I was purchasing. That was until I thought about it and ignored myself for being so typical, comparing myself to others to gain comfort. Catching this type of thought in its early stages is important because until it you actually believe it; it doesn’t affect your reality. Once I realized that I did not think that thought, I was handing the cashier the monetary equivalent of the boots. I don’t know whether to call that daydreaming or what. I wouldn’t consider it going through the motions because that would entail little mental stimulation when really I was just so deep in my own mind my physical entity was just doing what it had to do.

As I walked out of the complex to my automobile, I passed by numerous faces. All supposedly similar entities but drastically different and by different I don’t mean appearance, I mean actually. As I was unlocking the door to my car a familiar face yelled to me. He was wearing a one strap backpack and was riding a used yet thoroughly cleaned bicycle. He got my attention by yelling my mother’s name. As he approached he started talking, he said that he knew yelling my mom’s name would get my attention. I thought that was something, until I realized that either way it was worthless and we continued talking. We met at a sporting event in which he got arrested for assaulting a police officer. That was the first time we met. We were talking in a crowd as a drunk got dragged out of the stadium. He said to the officer dragging him, what the hell did he do for you to treat him like that. As he finished speaking a female officer swiftly approached claiming he had just hit the officer. At this point I barely comprehended the situation, everything was so shocking we didn’t know how to react; soon two big security guards in yellow jackets dragged him out as I yelled that he didn’t do anything. My emotions actually played a part in this life experience. I couldn’t believe what had just happened, I just kept yelling. A fireman then approached me, he may have not been a fireman but I wanted him to be. He said sympathetically and genuinely if you don’t stop yelling you’re going with him, and that he too saw the whole thing. He gave me a look that said without words, that’s just how things are. Well fuck that. I ended up walking around the city for quite awhile, quite alone. Anyways, after we greeted each other we just stared and nothing else was said. It didn’t need to be. We each went on with our separate existences.

Talk radio. On the ride away from this so called mall. Has the potential for me to want to hear what they have to say. That’s not what I am getting at. I heard someone with an interesting verbal identity say, “I beg your pardon.” There were many words that came after that, but those I did not hear. Pardon means to release from punishment or the act of excusing an offense. Begging someone to pardon you seems unnecessary if you did not hear what someone said. Regardless, as I pulled up to a friend’s driveway, I noticed a boy pull up on his bike to the curb across the street from. He reached down for an abandoned pair of shoes on the side of the road and put them on his hands. I thought in my head, since he was alone he couldn’t even lace them. He was wearing shoes.

Possibility of being continued


This is meant to be the forum where you introduce yourself. If you want a critique on this then why not post it on the correct board? I didn't even bother to read beyond the first couple of lines.