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How about sharing some of your favourite jokes? [Objectionable Content Warning] (1 Viewer)

Megan Pearson

Senior Member
Schrodinger is on his way to a conference in quantum mechanics when he gets pulled over for speeding. The cop gets out, shines the light in the windows, and asks him what he's got in the trunk. Schrodinger says, "a cat." The cop opens the trunk and says, "the cat is dead." To which Schrodinger replies, "well, he is now!"
 

CyberWar

Senior Member
A delivery man knocks on a house door. It is opened by 10-year-old Johnny. In one hand, he holds a cigar, in the other a glass of whiskey and looks visibly inebriated.

"Is your mother or father at home?" the shocked delivery guy asks.

Johnny takes a quick swig, follows up with a deep drag from the cigar, blows a thick puff of smoke in the delivery man's face and grins widely:

"What do you think?"
 

The Carcosan Herald

Senior Member
At the Universal Villain's Convention, Emperor Palpatine, Thanos and Adolf Hitler are arguing with each other over who has committed the greatest evil.

"I slaughtered six million Jews in the Holocaust," Hitler brags to the other two. "And I set out to colonise Europe by killing fifty million more to allow my Aryan master race to conquer the world!"

"Ha!" Thanos guffaws. "You call that a genocide? I killed half of all life in the universe with a mere snap of my fingers. I'm clearly more evil than you can ever hope to be!"

"You two think too big," Palpatine intervenes with a smug grin on his face. "The more personal evils are the best. I started a whole galaxy-wide war to draw Anakin Skywalker closer to the dark side before converting him, making him watch his wife die and entombing him in a mechanical suit!"

Before anyone can refute that, the door to the convention hall opens. Hitler, Thanos and Palpatine all turn their heads to see the newcomer, and what they see makes them gasp with horrified shock.

"Uh, who ordered the pineapple pizza?" shouts the delivery boy in the doorway.
 
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