Homeless Man and His Dog (1 Viewer)

[tenlientl]

School Project. A homeless man has a dog who's very hurt. A lady offers to help the dog. The homeless man says "no, it's my only thing that makes me happy". The lady lady says she'll only take him to the vet then return him. The man agrees. Now the lady is having a dilema whether she should return the dog or not. Here's my so called essay.

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If you ask me I believe that the lady should return the dog back. It is not even a dilema. The lady gave her word that she will return the dog after she brings her to the vet. She shouldn't swallow her words. She voluntered to do the task. She should not keep the dog as a reward for her good will if that is what she is thinking. And even though the dog might be better off with her, she still should give it back. It is not her dog. If she takes it, it is theft. If she takes the dog It is like renting a video from Blockbuster and never return it. It is not a good idea.

The dog is also the man's only important possesion, besides his clothes. That dog is his only companion and the only thing that strays him from depression. You would not want a man deperessed. Plus, if the dog is unhappy with the owner there is a big chance the dog will run away. It is like taking you away from your mother. If there's a situation where she can not support you, there is still love. And as your mother lovers you she will do the most she can to support you. If you think it won't be possible, you still have to keep your hope.

Faith also applies to the dog and the man. So I would give it back and hope the man will do something to support himself and the dog. if you wish, you could drop b from time to time and help the man support it. Better year, you may take them both in if you are swimming in money. You can have the man work for you as a gardener or something.
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Any improvements? I needed to have 2 simile/metaphor. I included 2-3 in there. Hope you recognize which ones. If they're too dull, state so. Need to improve this.

 

[americanwriter]

Okay, first, it's sort of all over the place. You need to focus your paragraphs. But before you can do that you need to know what you're arguing. Are you arguing the ethical perspective? And, I'm not sure that "faith" is the word that you're looking for in the later paragraph. It's an issue of trust maybe.

You repeat several things. Construct the sentences one at a time. Maybe outline first to group your thoughts.

First, set the stage for the reader so they know what the story is about. You can do that in about 3-5 brief sentences.

Second, tell the reader what your opinion is in one sentence.

Third, then argue the point or points you are making one at a time in an individual paragraph of a few sentences each, and don't forget that you closing sentence of each should sort of lead the reader into the next point.

Finally, in concluding you want to somehow summarize and recap your initial statement of what you believe and why. Following is a sort of rework. Not polished but for your consideration.

 

[americanwriter]

Introduction: A woman meets a homeless man on the street. He has an ailing dog. After some discussion the man reluctantly lets the woman take the dog to the vet, trusting in her promise to return the dog. Once at the vet, however, she struggles with a desire to keep the dog, to ensure its future health, seemingly unconcerned for the man's. And so she struggles with her conscience over whether to keep her word or break it.

There is no question that the dog must be returned. A promise has been made and a contract of sorts have been entered into. Not returning the dog could be likened to theft, just as refusing to return a rented video is tantamount to theft. The contract between renter and rentee is violated.

In the woman's mind, the man sees the dog as a piece of clothing, a possession, though there are those who might argue that a living thing can never truly be owned, and certainly the woman could argue this point: a living thing, like a dog, may choose to stay or go. In the man's eyes the dog is indeed a possession, but a precious and necessary one. Either way, however, the dog was given no choice to stay or to go, but was carried away by the decisions of others, just like a piece of clothing is not given a choice to be a shirt or a pair of pants. And if a possession, one on loan, then it must certainly be returned at the prescribed time.

The woman's obligation extends beyond the returning of just a possession, however. For in taking the dog the woman also took the man's faith, his trust, his hope, and all three must be returned. The deeper ethical obligation to be met is the return of those. The woman must return the trust that has been placed in her by both man and dog. Failure to return the dog, regardless of how good her intentions or how rational her reasoning for not returning it, would result in injury to dog and man, the dog being denied the rightful and ongoing companionship of his previous master and the man's trust in the woman, or moreso his fellow man, destroyed, in addition to himself being denied the faithful companionship of the dog.

The woman does not see the dog as the man sees the dog. Though she is concerned for what will become of the dog, she must also consider what might become of the man if the dog is not returned. The man is trusting in the woman as a child trust his mother, to put his needs ahead of her own, to do what is right even if it is not convenient, even if it involves risk to man and dog in the future. She must desire the good of both, which can only be achieved in their reunification, and to satiate her conscience with regard to what their outcomes may be, she can further both the dog and the man by providing what sustinance they require to see each day to its conclusion.