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Hippos (NSFW: Two Swear Words) (1 Viewer)

Lethal

Member
Here's a brief, possibly humurous peice that I wrote on Hippos. Enjoy!
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Hippos, I’d say; would have to be the most loyal creatures on this earth. Once they have been domesticated, there is no animal more loyal; except maybe a wasp, but that’s not the point. Yet, until a Hippo has been domesticated, it is one of the most vicious animals on earth; known to skin a man in 13 seconds flat. I once knew a Hippo, who attacked a man just for whistling. It blasted from the water, and tore him a new asshole, it was a rather amusing event. But, that’s enough funny stuff, we better get right to business. When you first encounter a Hippo, there are a few steps you’ll want to take, to make sure you leave the event with both your skin and only one asshole.

1) Do not make any sudden movements, noises, or breaths. A Hippo is like a homing missile, ready to hone in on your every movement and strike; like a fox!
2) When you get close to it, you must utter the international call of the Hippo. This will let it know that you are its friend and will not steal its skin to make jackets. The call is composed of a series of sharp “tweets” using your underarms. It takes awhile to master, but every potential Hippo Domesticator needs to know it. I will compose a separate paper describing the steps taken to procure this artful music.
3) When it understands you’re a friend. You must then stroke its nostrils in a counter-clockwise position. This symbolizes that you are a friend of the world.
4) Finally, you then call in a strike from the bushes with tranquilizer guns, disabling the once lethal Hippo. You will now take it back to a special Hippo Herding ground where it will now become domesticated.

If you follow those 4 simple steps, you will most likely come out of a Hippo encounter with most of your fingers. Remember folks; Hippos are one of nature’s most deadly creatures. Directly behind the Manatee, Praying Mantis and Bunny Rabbit.
 

Farror

WF Veterans
Ha! That was fairly funny, the thing is, hippo's are kinda dangerous! And you where very right in saying that the bunny is the MOST deadly creature known to man kind.
 
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