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Hip Hop Essay (1 Viewer)

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
This had to be less than 500 words. It's for one of the many history projects I have. The theme was "communications." Any suggestions would truly be appreciated. thanks.


Hip hop is thought to be just a combination of curses and electronic beats labeled “music.” Society has adopted a negative perception on the message which hip hop artists send to its audiences. Hip Hop is not solely about sex, drugs and money. Many rappers and singers discuss much more serious issues.

During the 1970’s in the streets of the Bronx, New York, young aspiring artists were creating a new way to express themselves and their frustrations. They spoke of the difficulties of a “hard knock” life and some of the experiences they were forced to go through. Some of which were poverty, racism, and peer pressures. They began combining beats and words together to form hip hop. Unintentionally, they took the oral tradition which their ancestors passed on.

In the 1970’s, it wasn’t unusual to hear the DJ recognizing who was at the party with that person’s slogan. For example, “Yo this is Kool Herc in the joint-ski saying my mellow-ski Marky D is in the house.” Kool Herc was one of the most popular emcees in the 70’s. He is the one that is credited the most for hip hop’s birth. Primarily, Kool Herc tried to bring reggae into the New York culture. The Bronx teenagers weren’t ready for the island beats just yet, but quickly took to the mixing of the newest songs and his smooth way with words. During the time which rap was first being introduced, it was identified as “emceeing.” As Kool Herc’s spinning techniques became more complicated, he realized that he would no longer be able to spin and emcee simultaneously. Two friends joined to form Kool Herc and the Herculoids. These two friends were known as Coke La Rock and Clark Kent.

Being that there’s no wrong way to rap, it gave the urban youth a chance to freely express themselves. They all rapped at different paces. This concept has stuck around to even today. Some artists rap at a slower pace when they rap about love and relationships. Other hip hop artists rap at faster paces when they discuss issues that anger them or when they rap about hanging out with their friends.

Hip Hop is sometimes not considered an art or music by some. Unfortunately, these people can not see past the stereotype that America has formed about this music genre. Hip Hop is a form of communicating to others about every day life and its aggravations to the people on the outside.
 

Capulet

Senior Member
I'd vary your sentence structure a little bit; try moving away from the heavy use of the imperative. Also, it seems to be a bit rambling. I'd suggest looking at what you have already and see if there are any points that can be combined, and perhaps even rearranged to give it more flow.

Your thesis statement doesn't line up with what you've written below. I'd rewrite one or the other. The body of your text seems to contain some pretty solid, relevant material, so I'd suggest rewriting the thesis to better reflect it.

Right now I'd give this something in the mid-70s marking. Rewriting the thesis and tightening up the diction should jump you up into the mid-to-upper 80s. Post the revisions, I'm interested in seeing where you go with this, and good luck!
 

Smurf Mamita

Senior Member
it was really hard to write because it can't be more than 500 words. I'm used to writing 1,000-2,000 word essays. this is less than a page. I wanted to add so much more info!! LOL I was trying to kind of make it flowy...the Kool Herc thing, then the 2nd to last paragraph...I guess it didn't work...

and, don't worry, there's way more to the project. this is only the essay part. I had to do a board. and what I did was get a pic of an artist, some song lyrics and I wrote a caption for it.

The reason it's not very solid is because that's what the typical essay on the board looks like. it's the captions and the presentations that gives you good marks.

So yeah...I'll mess with it some more in a little while. Thanks a lot for you input. (seriously!!) :p
 
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