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Heaven, Earth, and World (1 Viewer)

grant-g

Senior Member
Heaven, Earth and World

Thinking about my past, I remember a K-3 elementary school where I was
cornered, during a break period, by an angry group of older kids. One centered
me up against a wall, the others boxed me in; preventing me from escaping around
them. Shouting proof, after proof, for the non-existence of Santa Claus.
Startled, I shifted my eyes, my heart sunk, feelings depressed. Desperately, I
looked beyond them, searching, focusing on objects in the distance; trees,
mountains, the horizon. This distraction gave my courage rise. Focusing back on
the conflict: I stared her straight in the eyes and screamed – that he is, in
fact, real! – but immediately I realized; there was no Santa Claus. These same
years I received mention of my soul. Brief mention, and without further
explanation, I just knew. Looking back I can see that this was a keyword, or
term, which required no definition; I knew. I would not give a whole lot of
thought to the soul, neglecting this part of me as I grew older, but I cannot
say that I ever stopped believing it truly existed.

Existence does not seem to stifle Socrates disciples.
Each believe that man and soul are intertwined but they fear Socrates' may soon
die, with him, flying beyond into nothingness. In order to convince his men as
to why he is content, ready to face his own life's end, he must prove to them
that the soul is immortal. Cebes tells Socrates that men believe the
materialist view that when the body shuts down and death is upon them,
the soul races away, slowly disintegrating until there is nothing more. Socrates
agrees that the soul will leave his body but he believes there is a need for
this separability – and a proper way to detach – in respect to wisdom, and he
has thought deeply about such matters from his souls perspective. The soul
centers comfortably with the body and mind when sharing a common gravitation
toward knowledge, as well as when the body experiences intense pain or pleasure.
This is why wise men fair well to face death, they can sort these things.

When born, the soul is brought, against its will, into the body where it
constantly flutters about uncomfortable with the human condition. Soothing your
soul requires simple things like reading while relaxing – Nietzsche wants his
readers to focus like this – carefully, slowly. The soul has memories and is
accustomed to preference, like humans, and the body-life is forever forcing new
ways upon it, masking and ornamenting it, unjustly. The changeable, the body,
picks up a hobby, or indulges in pains or pleasures which ornaments the soul;
unchangeable, and pure. These ornaments can render a soul a wanderer, visible at
the graveyard, or possibly passing from humanity into the animal of its likeness
– after a stay the Archerusian lake – far removed from the syndrome’s of Man,
Earth’s slowest moving predator.

Believers make their preparations for death, most never knowing, unlike
Socrates, precisely when their life will end. Although commandments or rules to
live by offer helping guidance, their strict adherence is no guarantee. Doctrine
offers false promise when it is understood on a practical level; if you meet the
following conditions your soul will be saved and heaven awaits. The wise tell us
of a never ending journey, of thought, that peaks in understanding that we
cannot fully comprehend the nature of gods.
 
Last edited:

garza

Senior Member
You need to put paragraph breaks so the reader is not faced with a big block of solid type with no obvious clue, such as an indent or line break, to show where one paragraph ends and another begins. The easiest is with a line break, like this:

All you have to do is hit ENTER twice at the end of the last sentence of a paragraph, as I'm about to do now.

With paragraph breaks you'll attract more reviews.

I'll read it as it is and add my comments later, but you'll have more people commenting if you break it up.
 

grant-g

Senior Member
ok, thanks garza, i made the sections. this started as a term paper but i learned i was doing it wrong. there are a lot of interpretations, analogies and opinions where my assignment was to just strickly answer the questions. so, i turned it into a Blog;
1. so i could read it at work on break on my phone and see if any parts could be used, and to keep it in my head while i was working, but also
2. to make use of my opening paragraph because it was funny and i totally had forgotten those moments before trying to get the essay started.

its really long winded; I should totally shorten it.
just cut it up, even changing the whole point so its just something pleasant to read.
:)
 

grant-g

Senior Member
ok... i came back to totally chop it.
Now the name probably doesn't even
go with it but it's more readable.. around 500 words.
 

Cran

Da Boss Emeritus
Patron
A paragraph is one or more sentences which encompass a single point of focus;
a shift in focus means a new paragraph.

Blocks of text can never impress as much as clearly stated ideas.

Pass 1: The Search for the Paragraphs.
Heaven, Earth and World

Thinking about my past, I remember a K-3 elementary school where I was cornered, during a break period, by an angry group of older kids. One centered me up against a wall, the others boxed me in; preventing me from escaping around them. Shouting proof, after proof, for the non-existence of Santa Claus.

Startled, I shifted my eyes, my heart sunk, feelings depressed. Desperately, I looked beyond them, searching, focusing on objects in the distance; trees, mountains, the horizon. This distraction gave my courage rise. Focusing back on the conflict: I stared her straight in the eyes and screamed – that he is, in fact, real! – but immediately I realized; there was no Santa Claus.

These same years I received mention of my soul. Brief mention, and without further explanation, I just knew. Looking back I can see that this was a keyword, or term, which required no definition; I knew. I would not give a whole lot of thought to the soul, neglecting this part of me as I grew older, but I cannot say that I ever stopped believing it truly existed.

Existence does not seem to stifle Socrates disciples. Each believe that man and soul are intertwined but they fear Socrates' may soon die, with him, flying beyond into nothingness.

In order to convince his men as to why he is content, ready to face his own life's end, he must prove to them that the soul is immortal. Cebes tells Socrates that men believe the materialist view that when the body shuts down and death is upon them, the soul races away, slowly disintegrating until there is nothing more.

Socrates agrees that the soul will leave his body but he believes there is a need for this separability – and a proper way to detach – in respect to wisdom, and he has thought deeply about such matters from his souls perspective.

The soul centers comfortably with the body and mind when sharing a common gravitation toward knowledge, as well as when the body experiences intense pain or pleasure. This is why wise men fair well to face death, they can sort these things.

When born, the soul is brought, against its will, into the body where it constantly flutters about uncomfortable with the human condition. Soothing your soul requires simple things like reading while relaxing – Nietzsche wants his readers to focus like this – carefully, slowly.

The soul has memories and is accustomed to preference, like humans, and the body-life is forever forcing new ways upon it, masking and ornamenting it, unjustly. The changeable, the body, picks up a hobby, or indulges in pains or pleasures which ornaments the soul; unchangeable, and pure. These ornaments can render a soul a wanderer, visible at the graveyard, or possibly passing from humanity into the animal of its likeness – after a stay the Archerusian lake – far removed from the syndrome’s of Man, Earth’s slowest moving predator.

Believers make their preparations for death, most never knowing, unlike Socrates, precisely when their life will end. Although commandments or rules to live by offer helping guidance, their strict adherence is no guarantee. Doctrine offers false promise when it is understood on a practical level; if you meet the following conditions your soul will be saved and heaven awaits. The wise tell us of a never ending journey, of thought, that peaks in understanding that we cannot fully comprehend the nature of gods.



Pass 2: The Search for the Clarity.
Heaven, Earth and World

Thinking about my past, [superfluous tautology] I remember a K-3 elementary school where I was cornered, during a break period, by an angry group of older kids. One centered me up against a wall, the others boxed me in; preventing me from escaping around them. [The entire sentence is only saying what the previous said, and not as well.] Shouting proof, after proof, for the non-existence of Santa Claus.

Startled, I shifted my eyes, my heart sunk, feelings depressed. [Yoda-speak. Is this essay about bullying?] Desperately, I looked beyond them, searching, focusing on objects in the distance; trees, mountains, the horizon. This distraction gave my courage rise. Focusing back on the conflict: I stared her straight in the eyes and screamed – that he is, in fact, real! – but immediately I realized; there was no Santa Claus. [Punctuation salad]

These same years I received mention of my soul. Brief mention, and without further explanation, I just knew. Looking back I can see that this was a keyword, or term, which required no definition; I knew. I would not give a whole lot of thought to the soul, neglecting this part of me as I grew older, but I cannot say that I ever stopped believing it truly existed. [ie, when you were a kid, you were told you had a soul, but not why. You accepted it then, and still believe it now.]

Existence does not seem to stifle Socrates disciples. Each believe that man and soul are intertwined but they fear Socrates' may soon die, with him, flying beyond into nothingness. [Swap your Socrates; each belongs in the other’s place]

In order to convince his men as to why he is content, ready to face his own life's end, he must prove to them that the soul is immortal. Cebes tells Socrates that men believe the materialist view that when the body shuts down and death is upon them, the soul races away, slowly disintegrating until there is nothing more. [Reference?]

Socrates agrees that the soul will leave his body but he believes there is a need for this separability – and a proper way to detach – in respect to wisdom, and he has thought deeply about such matters from his souls perspective.

The soul centers comfortably with the body and mind when sharing a common gravitation toward knowledge, as well as when the body experiences intense pain or pleasure. This is why wise men fair well to face death, they can sort these things.

When born, the soul is brought, against its will, into the body where it constantly flutters about uncomfortable with the human condition. Soothing your soul requires simple things like reading while relaxing – Nietzsche wants his readers to focus like this – carefully, slowly. [Reference?]

The soul has memories and is accustomed to preference, like humans, and the body-life is forever forcing new ways upon it, masking and ornamenting it, unjustly. [Reference?]

The changeable, the body, picks up a hobby, or indulges in pains or pleasures which ornaments the soul; unchangeable, and pure. These ornaments can render a soul a wanderer, visible at the graveyard, or possibly passing from humanity into the animal of its likeness – after a stay the Archerusian lake – far removed from the syndrome’s of Man, Earth’s slowest moving predator. [Reference? The slowest-moving predators are gastropods; are you calling me a slug?]

Believers make their preparations for death, most never knowing, unlike Socrates, precisely when their life will end. Although commandments or rules to live by offer helping guidance, their strict adherence is no guarantee. Doctrine offers false promise when it is understood on a practical level; if you meet the following conditions your soul will be saved and heaven awaits. The wise tell us of a never ending journey, of thought, that peaks in understanding that we cannot fully comprehend the nature of gods.

If, in an essay or similar non-fiction work, you make a statement presented as fact, you must identify its source – personal opinion or belief, expert opinion, academic consensus, journal or published work – in other words, References.

Having made two passes through this, there are still two more to do:
Typos, Punctuation & Other Errors, and Tightening.
 
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