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Have you any puns or funny comments worth sharing? (1 Viewer)

Trollheart

Offline: Depressed
Senior Member
Two pukes were walking when they came to a particular street, and one started getting emotional. The other one turned to him and asked what was wrong. "Oh nothing," said the first puke. "It's just, this is where I was brought up."
 

Trollheart

Offline: Depressed
Senior Member
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can make a mess of today."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but with it you sure can be miserable in comfort."

"Misery may like company, but it never buys a round of drinks."

"If a tree falls in the forest, it's best not to be under it."

"Wouldn't you give your left arm to be ambidextrous?"

"He who laughs last clearly did not get the joke."

"Underneath every mean, tough exterior is a mean, tough interior."

"The bigger they are, the faster you should probably run."
 

seigfried007

Senior Member
Three priests are fishing in a rowboat and decide to confess their sins to each other.

The first says, "Gee, I have a really hard time with greed. That offering plate... it's just so tempting to take some out while I'm counting it."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that; I'll be praying for you," says the second. "I have a hard time with lust. That new sister... whoo, I was walking through the prayer garden, and she forgot to shut the curtains, so I saw her through that window without her habit on. Hot damnation, brothers, a body like that makes me rethink this celibacy thing."

The first priest consoles the second, and they pray to God for forgiveness and strength to fight these temptations.

The third priest says, "Well, my sin is gossiping, and brothers, I just can't wait to get back to the church!"
 

Amnesiac

Senior Member
To the person who stole my anti-depressants: I hope you're happy now!

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes. It was, sadly, the end of my Korea. I’m still China find another job.

It turns out when you lose a sock in the laundry, it actually turns into a lid in your kitchen that fits none of your Tupperware.
 

Trollheart

Offline: Depressed
Senior Member
If time and space are relative, why didn't they come to my birthday party?

To the person who gave us zero: thanks for nothing.
 

Art Man

Senior Member
I'm not a big fan of pun or parody and to pun another artists' work can be infuriating to the target artist so I try not to be leechy through punnery. I like my work to stand on its own but of course you can only take originality so far and some things you write are going to be similar to what was already done. Essentially though I don't try and pun or parody simply because I don't like those methods of "prompting".
 

Trollheart

Offline: Depressed
Senior Member
I'm not a big fan of pun or parody and to pun another artists' work can be infuriating to the target artist so I try not to be leechy through punnery. I like my work to stand on its own but of course you can only take originality so far and some things you write are going to be similar to what was already done. Essentially though I don't try and pun or parody simply because I don't like those methods of "prompting".
Every single time I see your name I see "Ant Man". :lol: Sorry.
 

Aquarius

Financial Patron
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
 

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