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Hands Off the Snooze Button (1 Viewer)

What's in a title? Help create an effective title.

  • Change the title. Please post suggestion, thx

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  • Edit the title. Please post suggestion, thx

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  • Keep the title. Please explain why, if poss. thx

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arkayye

Senior Member
Arise, and walk along these streets,
breathe and partake of the dregs
of the mighty industrial age;
paint the colours of its appeal -

toxic fumes that light the path
to days only just imagined.


Parted lips bare wisdom,
shatter the silence that shackles;
within parched throat, sealed
sounds peal from the belfry -

tender whispers caress
each unknown orphaned heart.


Lift high the banner brave;
let the bitter winds bite
lash fierce its tattered frame,
light gapes through its holes-

release the soul's query:
How can one forgive what is forgotten?


Illumine the dim horizon;
extricate each sole from bog and mire.
Grab the morning call,
Borrow its voice if you must -

Stir up the spirit from slumber;
the darkness of night will not prevail
.



`
 

Vitaly Ana

WF Veterans
I think the title should be something to do with Revival, or Awakening.

Maybe you can call it Arise

And the first line could be something like: Awaken, and walk along these streets. Just an idea.

The first two stanzas give a great industrial feel. S3 and S4 are so stark in contrast. I wonder how that lends to the rest of the poem.

Overall I enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing! :welcoming:
 

arkayye

Senior Member
I think that I am gonna like her. Her narrative style is rhythmic and carries with it a unique cadence. Quite easy and pleasing to the ear. Thanks for the introduction.
 
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