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Guys, I need help with this real life situation. (1 Viewer)

D

Dante0085

Theres this lady..that I've known for about two years..and well..I call her mom, she calls me son, she has a 23 year old daughter, and sometimes it's so obvious that she loves her more than me, and I feel so jealous when it happens.

Also, lately, it's been feeling like she has no time for me. Her emails are very short, we don't talk on the phone for more than 20 minutes, and whenever she gives me a hug it doesn't seem like she want's to.

What the hell do I do?

I just got through sending her this email, and I'm wondering if it'll help.

The way I typed it was as if I was asking another friend for help with my situation, so that it wouldn't seem mean. I'm not trying to let her know but tell her that I wanted to send that email to a friend of mine, but that I sent it to HER by accident. It's just a...different style of writing I guess.

Here it is...

There's this lady..and well..I call her mom a lot and wish that she was my REAL mother, but lately it just seems like she has no time for me.

That's not to say that she's being mean about it, because she truly is busy..but

She seems like she doesn't like hugs from me like she used to, she didn't want to watch me play in the arcade : (, she said she had to go on the phone about two days ago because she was seeing this "sexy" guy on TV, when I had stayed with her on the phone that day when I got my new game before christmas even though I really wanted to play it.

Another thing is..but one that I can truly understand..is that she'll always love her daughter more than me.

It makes me jealous, but I never say anything about it. And that's not to say I should.

Oh, dear old friend, what must I do?

I feel terribly jealous because I know I'll never recieve the same kind of love whether it be from my own father, or herself.

Dear, Dear, Friend.

What must I do?

Also..I wish to let her know that I do eat at home and that I'm

NOT.

Anerexic.

and that I couldn't care less on how it is spelt (something that is extremely well, since one of my goals in life is to not mispell/ mispronounce a word that is in my library) because it's a piece of crap word that has no relevance to me whatsoever.

That day before I went to her house and to the movies to go see Narnia, I had eaten a can of Raviolies, and a frozen burrito that I heated up. I just hadn't remembered, but it felt not like it mattered.

I also wish to let her know that I'd probably rather just read the books out of my own will if I'm going to get a hug that is only given out of sympathy.

I'm trying to find a way to let her know these things without sounding mean, but I can't type "please" in every sentence when I'm feeling like I'm under stress.

I've told her before that no matter what I do, that I feel like I'll never be truly happy.

I'm probably always going to be feeling jealous, so maybe I should just..shut up.


- Edward
 
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Icywind

Senior Member
Really?

My heart truly goes out to you dude.

I mean, I couldn't bear someone that I loved not love me back the way I love them.

The best advice I could give you is to just have a talk with her, and tell her how much she means to you.

Thank her for all that she's done, and tell her that you truly love and look up to her as if she was your own mother.

You might just be going through a bad spell...but if she seems distant..just ask her.

She also may need someone in her life right now...like she's been in yours.

Good luck, and cheer up^-^!
 

mammamaia

Senior Member
you may be pushing her away by being so over-needy and demanding of her love... after all, you've only known her for 2 years and you're jealous of her own daughter?... honeypot, that's not exactly healthy thinking, y'know?...

this lady does not owe you her time, even though she's given of it freely in the past... sounds to me as if she's getting a bit leery of your relationship, or what you seem to want that to be, and trying to scale back some... which is what she should do, truth be told...

sending her that email will only freak her out more, imo... and i'm a mom of 7 kids of my own and countless more who call me 'mom' and feel like my sons and daughters after coming to me for help with their writing, so i know whereof i speak...

how old are you?... what is your relationship with your own parents, that you should need to make this woman a surrogate mom?... i think you need to take a few steps back and consider what it is you are expecting and wanting from someone who has no real connection to you... try to see what's lacking in your own life, that you want others to supply... and see if you can't do with less from others, become more comfortable with yourself...

that's my 2 cents, anyway... hope you take it to heart and it helps some...

love and hugs, maia
 
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