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Girl in the Mirror (1 Viewer)

Lil' Miss

Senior Member
I found this slightly confusing poem in a journal of mine. What do you think?

Girl in the Mirror
Who is the girl in the mirror
I see?
Is that truly you,
me?
Or is me,
me
And you,
just you?

Do I exist
as you are none?

You and me
Me and you
One is all,
And all is one.
 

Ilasir Maroa

Senior Member
Getting a little impatient, eh?

It's basically about yourself in the mirror, and you wondering if it's still you?
 

Lil' Miss

Senior Member
That's the idea :) And I'm finding that it takes a lot longer to get responses on this site than what I'm used to. There's a lot less people, I guess.
 
B

Baron

The poem is quite cute.

How busy this site gets is a variable. Sometimes it can get fairly active but during the summer months it tends to get a little slower. It's also a good idea to read some of the other stuff, leave comments and get to know people. There are some excellent writers here and some of their insights can be really helpful.
 

Lil' Miss

Senior Member
Inkpop, mostly. And Worthyofpublishing, but they didn't have a forum. And...let's see....I don't know off the top of my head, I've been browsing for the past week. A lot.
 

Lil' Miss

Senior Member
Normally I would be going crazy and looking through people's work and posting my own on here, but I'm still browsing through sites and seeing which ones I want to stay at. So right now I'm just getting a feel for everything and meeting people.
 

vangoghsear

WF Veteran
WF Veterans
First the good. I like the confusion. The convoluted reasoning is what makes it interesting. The poem is actually about "existentialism," which is a big word for philosophy about the idea of existence (which you do here in your poem "Do I exist").

The bad is that you touch on this deep philosophy, but you do not go deep enough in your exploration. The poem says nothing new about this idea. You need some unique imagery to make us understand the depth of this thought.

An example would be the bold phrase I added below:

Who is the girl in the mirror
I see?
Her pupils widen
dark, glazed holes
reflect, yet let
me glimpse inside.

Is that truly you,
me?
Or is me,
And you,
just you?

The idea of imagery is to allow us to envision more clearly what you are seeing.

Overall, it's okay for what it is, but it could say more.
 

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
Hi Lil' Miss! I have to agree with van here. The concept is one that lends itself to poetry very nicely, but the trick is to get a new slant and perspective on it. Not the easiest thing to accomplish, believe me, I know. :)
 
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