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fuchsia magellanica (2) (1 Viewer)

dannyboy

Friends of WF
The bush that made bees
had flowers closed like a collection of handbags,
when mother’s eyes were elsewhere, a rare
occurrence, feet meandered down concrete steps...

pause

before another flower or two
and then, alone in front of the bush,
listen hard for the sound of bees…

somedays

the bees were absent, visiting other landscapes,
investigating other gardens,
a hurried pluck of three or four flowers,
a purse snatcher in the crowd,
move away, the flowers hidden
in the palm of a boy’s right hand…

safe

open each flower and hope
to find the bee inside – not once
successful…

curiously

it never dinted the insistence
bees were born inside the flowers.

The opened flowers
stared back in silent rage,
in a whisper of stamens
foretold
that the world can turn flat
a vaccination can be denigrated
a virus denied.

no one listens to flowers anymore.
 

apple

WF Veterans
Danny, I love your visuals and wonder ( flowers like unopened purses) the way a child might think... Hoping to find a bee inside. So childlike and wonderful. I could see the determination. What totally deflated me was that your ending lines became an editorial on the state of affairs. Maybe you could find a way to say that no one listens to flowers anymore without being so specific.
 

dannyboy

Friends of WF
Hi apple, really good point, its funny its that line that started the final stanza - I'm currently reading braiding sweetgrass, so the listening to flowers came from there, but looking at it, no sure it is needed at all. I'll have a play.
 

apple

WF Veterans
I am not sure if I made it clear that the lines that threw me out of your poem was

"that the world can turn flat
a vaccination can be denigrated
a virus denied."

I loved "no one listens to flowers anymore"
 

dannyboy

Friends of WF
sorry replied in a hurry so its a bit confusing what I wrote, yes those three lines are "lecturing" lines that I should have discarded even though the final stanza was originally those three lines (but it did start with listening to flowers...)

originally
no one listens to flowers anymore
and so a world can turn flat
the usefulness of a vaccine is denied
the existence of a virus denied.

but in the rewrite I added
The opened flowers
stared back in silent rage,
in a whisper of stamens
foretold

so maybe now I just need

The opened flowers
stared back in silent rage,
in a whisper of stamens
foretell...

no one listens to flowers anymore.
 
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