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Firemajic's NaPoWriMo 2021--"The good, the bad and the ugly" (1 Viewer)

jenthepen

Staff member
Mentor
#16 I can identify with this one! The need to get all those old emotions out yet worrying about stripping away all the protective veils. Maybe this is something that all poets struggle with?

#17 What a beautiful tribute to a gentle visionary! To have known such a person is treasure indeed and you honour the memory by the appreciation that glows behind your words.
 

RHPeat

Met3 Group Leader
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Firemajic

If this is a bad one, where to you hide the ugly ones?
There's nothing wrong with this poem;
maybe the "of" in the last line could be "or". Just to flip the reader a bit.
That's a skip call. You can take it on the bounce or let it sink.

I can relate to this poem as a writer. It is poetry for poets. Nothing wrong with that.
I enjoy what my contemporaries have to say about their confrontation with the craft.
It's not like we all haven't walked a mile in the mud before.
I know what you're talking about here.
When to wear the mask and when not to wear it.
If it all comes easy; someones pulling a gunnysack over your head,
so they don't have to look in your eyes while telling you lies.

In a strange way your poem reminds me of Billie Holiday singing "Black and Blue".
There's that much feeling it the poem as I read it aloud.
Sometimes poems need more time.
So we rush them thinking they need to be finished.
Years ago I used to feel like I might die before I finished the poem.
I had to get it down on paper right then.
The paper ended up being an unknown map to some lost treasure.
It was made of arrows and squiggling circles to move things.
along with loops to trade places — one phrase for another.
It was a crazy mess of underground tunnels and lost pyramids in dense jungles of writing.

Now I want to let the poem marinate and then simmer like a good steak.
Wow! That makes me hungry. Do you want to go out and eat.

:hell_pawn: — we can get something fried on the grill.


a poet friend
RH Peat
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
That's a nice sublime poem on nature and human
existence.

Thank you glass, I appreciate your POV and your comment ;)


"butterflies drifting on stained glass wings." Great stuff.

Thank you Mr. Midnight ;), I am glad you liked the imagery ;) ** hugs**


#16 I can identify with this one! The need to get all those old emotions out yet worrying about stripping away all the protective veils. Maybe this is something that all poets struggle with?

#17 What a beautiful tribute to a gentle visionary! To have known such a person is treasure indeed and you honour the memory by the appreciation that glows behind your words.

#16 ""Protective veils""... I love that... I think it is difficult for me, to expose the ugliness that was my childhood, and I believe we all have things we want to hide, even from ourselves...

#17... ""Gentle visionary"" Jen you have beautiful insight... yes, in many ways my Mother was a visionary, she beyond the "here and now"... Thank you for your deep compassion and insight, you show me things in my poetry that I did not realize was there, and I love seeing poetry through your eyes...



really like 16.

Thank you Danny ;)



Firemajic

If this is a bad one, where to you hide the ugly ones?
There's nothing wrong with this poem;
maybe the "of" in the last line could be "or". Just to flip the reader a bit.
That's a skip call. You can take it on the bounce or let it sink.

I can relate to this poem as a writer. It is poetry for poets. Nothing wrong with that.
I enjoy what my contemporaries have to say about their confrontation with the craft.
It's not like we all haven't walked a mile in the mud before.
I know what you're talking about here.
When to wear the mask and when not to wear it.
If it all comes easy; someones pulling a gunnysack over your head,
so they don't have to look in your eyes while telling you lies.

In a strange way your poem reminds me of Billie Holiday singing "Black and Blue".
There's that much feeling it the poem as I read it aloud.
Sometimes poems need more time.
So we rush them thinking they need to be finished.
Years ago I used to feel like I might die before I finished the poem.
I had to get it down on paper right then.
The paper ended up being an unknown map to some lost treasure.
It was made of arrows and squiggling circles to move things.
along with loops to trade places — one phrase for another.
It was a crazy mess of underground tunnels and lost pyramids in dense jungles of writing.

Now I want to let the poem marinate and then simmer like a good steak.
Wow! That makes me hungry. Do you want to go out and eat.

:hell_pawn: — we can get something fried on the grill.


a poet friend
RH Peat


Dear Poet friend...
Well, the "ugly" IS there... sometimes I write about "ugly" stuff....things that can make people uncomfortable...but to be honest, life is not all puppies and kittens.. life is at times, ugly and cruel...

I am glad you liked my poem, I am assuming you are commenting on the first one... yes, the poem was rushed, NaPo is challenging ;) it is not easy, and causes me anxiety to post a poem before I have taken time to fine tune it... that process for me can take many months...I appreciate your comments, and I have enjoyed many of your poems... yes, you can grill me a steak and I will bring the bubbly.... ;)
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Honeysuckle Seduction

#18

Honeysuckle Seduction

Deep long running roots anchor
new shoots clinging to sagging fence
tenacious tendrils travel wrapping
weathered oak arbor flaunting oval
leaves surrounding cascading white silk
trumpet blossoms seductive scent
beguile bees flirting with honey
nectar tempted to suckle a sip
 

River Rose

Senior Member
# 12. PROCRASTINATION IS THE DESTINATION ......This made me cry. I can feel this so deep. As someone who use to feel the need to explain myself. Explain my difference
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
I love Honeysuckle! We have that and Jasmine growing wild, here.


Jasmine sounds much more romantic and exotic than honeysuckle.... ;)


# 12. PROCRASTINATION IS THE DESTINATION ......This made me cry. I can feel this so deep. As someone who use to feel the need to explain myself. Explain my difference


I am glad you felt a connection to this poem... it is not always easy being different... ;) Thank you for reading and commenting...
 

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
You had me at 'hen'. I love my little chickens! There is something so homey and comforting about having them around and they are such characters. Darren's right, Hester is a pretty name and I've eight chicks without names...might be a Hester in the bunch, me thinks. :)
 

River Rose

Senior Member
This is such a nice poem. Makes me think of the choices we make in motherhood. Made me think of my roost of 8. The choices I have made to tend my hen house of 8 babies
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Love it.
Beautiful name for a hen. Must have to do with the rhyme. Lester won't do it ;)

Hester was a beautiful hen ;) thank you for reading, Darren.... stay well and safe...


You had me at 'hen'. I love my little chickens! There is something so homey and comforting about having them around and they are such characters. Darren's right, Hester is a pretty name and I've eight chicks without names...might be a Hester in the bunch, me thinks. :)

I loved my little Bantam hens, they were so tiny, not much larger than a dove... I love to watch them in my flower beds, and I loved the way they followed me around with their happy clucking... from one chicken lover to another, if every one spent time with chickens, the world would be a nicer place... thank you for reading and commenting, Gumby...


This is such a nice poem. Makes me think of the choices we make in motherhood. Made me think of my roost of 8. The choices I have made to tend my hen house of 8 babies

yes, hens are dedicated mothers ;) thank you for reading and commenting, River Rose...
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Lucy

#21

Lucy

There was a Praying Mantis named Lucy
she dined on things that were juicy
she ate her mate's head
while he was sleeping in bed
but his brain made her tummy feel woozy

#22

Lucy 2

There was a Praying Mantis named Lucy
her mate came home drunk and woozy
she dined on his head
while he was passed out in bed
and was surprised that his brain was so juicy
 

Pulse

Staff member
Senior Mentor
Firemagic,

I don't think you need 'there was[once] a . . .' every time. You could just start 'a deprived [or depraved] Praying Mantis named Lucy'. (Not sure why I am being so pedantic, but something concerned me about the rhythm.)

In #19, I love the non-rhyme in lines three and four.
 
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