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Feelings (1 Viewer)

Thing's I cannot explain
Life I would give to communicate
People I cannot replace
Don't think this is simply to complain
I've been told to dwell in past is a mistake
Told this life I chose to create
Years seeking a light a change but my in decay
A crippling pain I try to convey
Not a thing a soul can erase
In vain I've sought to conversate
To find happiness, healing reconciliation even to feel sane
Only resistance, rejection, smuggness, disdain
It would seem the others determined I feel shame
How is this real, not simply a bad dream a grip I must obtain
Sorrow, Pain, tears filled my eyes anger began to inflame
Saying galore are offered alone all have become mundane
My life my actions every failed attempt seeming profane
A heart so big, burdens so heavy, purpose I must attain
To be seen heard my only wish as to share as blessed to ascertain
How does a single man get notice I ask it's not my wish for fame
The words I carry the visions the same aren't mine nor for my gain
What once was had and was far from plain
Taken for granted never to think lost life distracted now to reclaim
The road ahead lonely keep faith I pray as I long for your embrace
Love wont fade away not even if we try to refrain
To forget to give up to move on all vain as love can only sustain
 

Darkkin

WF Veterans
Rhyme scheme takes over everything and the uneven line lengths compound an already distracting situation. Poetry does not need to rhyme. A majority of the time, rhyme does more harm than good because it becomes the prop of the piece and the message of the poem itself is distorted by the forced language usage.

Read this aloud, consider what you hear, ask what the rhyme adds beyond clutter, also the apostrophe in the first word first line should not be there it should just be Things.

Emotions matter, consider a clear approach without the topiary of a rhyme scheme.
 
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