Tonight I saw the harvest moon. It’s not even a full moon but how something so far away and forsaken took my breath away I don’t know. I realized then that not many things can take my breath away anymore. Have I become that desensitized that life can’t throw anything at me that will shock me? For instance I guy at work that I knew and loved to talk to died yesterday. Finding out the news left me unsettled and confused but it didn’t take my breath away. I feel nothing. When I was a child I told myself no smoking, no alcohol, and wait for sex. I smoke, love alcohol, and my husband will have an experienced wife. What happened to us growing up? When did our morals fly out the door? My mind has become stupid with frappuccinos and crosswords. Is this what I have to look for in the up coming adult years? Same shit different day? I look back on the week I just had and nothing stands out, nothing happened to take my breath away. In high school I had to fight and use my brain everyday. Something new was thrown at me all the time. If this is it then I quit. Married life will stink. I know I wont get the man of my dreams I will get the guys out there right now that have no balls to go after what they want and to take hold of life… I don’t even know how to do that. Everyone says we are the future. But looking at now it looks dim and boring.