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Eyes Like Cutaneous Membranes of Sharks (Surrealist Valentines) (1 Viewer)

Damien.

WF Veterans
Hmm. I see that you attempted to bend the genre, but I'm not sure it works. The fact that there are no stanzas gives these pieces energy - I read them very fast. But if they were broken into stanzas, I would probably slow down and think about them a little more. The writing itself paints a lovely, though chaotic, picture.
 

Gumby

Staff member
Co-Owner
I think Damien is correct and stanzas would help the reader to absorb what you're saying here. This definitely speaks to a very special kind of valentine and would probably go over well in those circles. :)
 
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