Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Exploding Head (1 Viewer)

O'Ryan

Member
EXPLODING HEAD

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Cerebral thrombosis
Imaginations deeper than the oceans
Unfrozen word
Spoken in motion
Emotional explosion
Coretex implosion
Omen open slogan
Divine handwoven
Devotion
Broken and chosen
Streets are golden


Writer
Ryan K Pendley
 
EXPLODING HEAD

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Cerebral thrombosis
Imaginations deeper than the oceans
Unfrozen word
Spoken in motion
Emotional explosion
Coretex implosion
Omen open slogan
Divine handwoven
Devotion
Broken and chosen
Streets are golden


Writer
Ryan K Pendley

I've read all the poems that you posted. This is my favorite. It has a smooth rhythm.

My favorite lines are: Imagination deeper than the oceans
Unfrozen word
Spoken in motion

In line seven, you wrote coretex; do you mean cortex?

I'm not sure what it means (I'm slow to understand things)...but it sounds good.

Thank you for sharing.
 

Jk_Sl

Senior Member
EXPLODING HEAD

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Cerebral thrombosis
Imaginations deeper than the oceans
Unfrozen word
Spoken in motion
Emotional explosion
Coretex implosion
Omen open slogan
Divine handwoven
Devotion
Broken and chosen
Streets are golden


Writer
Ryan K Pendley

Amazing job , well done [emoji108][emoji108]

J.h
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
I like concept and the way in which you play with words here throughout, it’s a creative piece.

My criticism would be that you allude to a rather famous musical number, but don’t actually capture the cadence of the inspiration, because you start Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious I find myself wanting to read the piece to the same rhythm of the song, but it’s not there and that’s somewhat jarring as a reader.

Cheers for sharing

Syd


 
Top