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Episode 3 (1 Viewer)


Senior Member
As all the lil chilluns gathered round da blind dude’s tree, waiting for the annual “Words of Wisdom”, a peace fell upon the hearts, minds, and souls of all within the ugly melon kingdom. Such is the power of the season.

“The Whenever The Hell I Can Get It Together
To Present My Shallow Views
Of Small Slices Of Pop Culture”

Episode 3 - In which da blind dude rasps out a few line of song to do battle with the minions of devious mind control.

The scene starts from afar – it is designed to suck you in. A shapely raven-haired woman, curves in all the places that tempt, is moving or maybe dancing on a mountain ridge, high above the hustle and bustle and toil and drudge of daily existence. Her sensuous body is clothed in two layers: one hugs tightly to the shape of her hips and her waist and her breasts, and the second layer flows like a breeze, accentuating her movements.

Your view is drawn in slowly and effortlessly – it is very easy to look at the beauty of the scene as it somehow paints itself upon a canvas in your mind. The woman’s movements and the flow of sheer fabric is poetry in motion. The mountain ridge is symbolical serenity, a peace that is easy to desire without the burden of sin.

As you are drawn ever closer to the scene, there is more of the woman with flowing aesthetics and less of the surrounding countryside. When you get close enough, she stops, looks at you, and says, “it’s not your clothes”.
As the scene changes, you are left with a void that can only be filled with a question – “what does she mean?”

A new scene unfolds, using the same skilled cinematic technique. Only this time, it is a handsome man in a desert setting. I must apologize for not having the same powers of recall for the retelling of this scene, which is designed to lure a woman, as I had for describing the scene designed to lure a man.

But perhaps my lack of recall is due to the fact that I am a man, and I was lured by the first scene. Lured, not tempted. Lured, not seduced.

And my definition of lure? Provoke someone to do something through (often false or exaggerated) promises or persuasion.

I don’t remember exactly what it is that the handsome man says at the end of his scene, but it is – “it’s not your ______” (fill in the blank). Several similar scenes unfold, and we are told: “it’s not your clothes”, “it’s not your neighborhood”, “it’s not your music”, ….

And because we are conditioned, and because we have been so successfully lured, we absolutely must ask, “well, then – what is it?”

It’s your watch.

All of this exquisite salesmanship, this skilled cinematography, this borderline subliminal messaging is put forth to make us aware that it is our watch that most aptly says “Who We Are”. If we own one of these expensive timepieces, we are one of the beautiful people, and we are able to make a profound statement with merely our presence.

Well, EXCUSE ME. I don’t even own a watch. And I suppose that makes me a real NOBODY. And, I can’t help it, but here comes a few plagiarized snippets of a classic Beatles song – “I’m a real nowhere man sitting in my nowhere land making all my nowhere plans for nobody.” But that’s not really me. I’m more like a few plagiarized words from a Bob Seger song – “I’ve done cruised out of that city, and gone down to the sea, I’ve shouted at the ocean, hey it’s me – AND I don’t need no stinkin’ watch!”

You do NOT have to own an expensive watch to be somebody.

But my point here goes way beyond stating that you don’t have to own “anything” in order to be somebody. I have a few philosophies of life (just a few), and one of them could possibly be summed up thusly: It is not what you have that defines who you are, but what you think, how you act, and what you do that defines the real you.

Don’t be sucked in. Don’t bite the pretty lure – it’s full of nasty hooks.

Inexorably Tangled
Somewhere Between
Insanity and Sincerity


Senior Member
BRAVA!! I've seen those commercials and I think you brilliantly summed up the generic response of the world! Beautifully worded and sharp, I enjoyed every moment. Keep writing! :-D