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Dragon Vs Princess (556 words) (1 Viewer)

ArtBlinked

Senior Member
I'm tardy to the party but I wanted to say how much fun this was to read. I love the twist and the personality of the dragon and . Your sentence structure and pacing is excellent.

I think this is my favorite paragraph:

Then everything went quiet. "What is the Princess up to now?" The dragon thought frantically. He chanced a peek above the table but kept his wings up to shield himself from whatever improvised missiles the "Princess" dared to throw at him. Then he heard an almighty crash. The castle shook "How does a tiny princess get into this much trouble?" Cnaerafon asked himself incredulously. He bounded fully up to see what had happened and for his troubles got his second-best tea set right in the face

You've hinted to the idea she's not a real princess by Cnaerafon referring to her in quoted name but I didn't catch the full meaning until the second time around. That, and I rather like the imagery painting the dragon as the helpless one in the situation. You threw a twist ontop of an already curious story. Excellent!
 

Scrivener123

Senior Member
I liked the story a lot. I only have 2 suggestions:

1. Make it the prelude to a longer story. I can see this being something much bigger. The "short story" establishes the dragon, and the possible threat to the knight. It also sets the tone for a bigger story, if you were so inclined.
2. I might substitute the work "raise" for the word "up" in the next to last sentence. Otherwise, I real enjoyed the story.
 

Kusinjo

Senior Member
Despite some minor mistakes, this is a great short! I really hope it's just a smaller snippet of a larger story! Nice job! :)
 
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