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Don't talk to me... (1 Viewer)

Mean

Senior Member
Random person: <smiling> "Good morning!"

Me: "Can't you see me pouring coffee into a cup? And how dare you use your 'good morning' on me. You've totally wasted it because it's not a good morning, and if you don't take two steps toward the door behind you, I swear before your god I will kill you horribly."

This is how my first conversation of the morning usually goes. I guess you could say I'm not a "morning person". I'm not always so abrasive and off-putting, but when a person finds it necessary to attack me with a barrage of well-wishes at so early an hour, I just fly off the handle. Sometimes I feel bad about it, but usually I feel totally justified.

My alarm clock goes off at 5:30 every morning. To be brought so violently out of deep REM sleep by an obnoxious beeping sound is the mental equivalent to having the seat on the plane right in front of the screaming one-year-old. One bad experience with it and it takes years to accept that sound in any other setting. I have become violently angry after hearing a sound similar to my alarm clock in the afternoon. It could be that I am imbalanced somehow.

Most people say, "I'm not worth talking to until I've had my coffee." I think that may be the most retarded thing a person can say to another person. Well, unless the person is actually mental, in which case, many silly things may come out of their throat-hole. Here is the saying I use. You may find it similar to the "coffee warning", but not terribly:

"If you talk to me before 11:00am, I can't be held
responsible for the physical harm that may be dispensed
due to a lack of sleep."

Sometimes people take offense. Other times, they slowly back away making a cross with their index fingers.
 

ThatSmokingGuy

Senior Member
What's up Grumpy McGrumperson? Actually I'm in the same boat but because coffee is the devils swill, I need that first shot of nicotine before my brain begins to function at a semi-effective level. Haven't actually killed anyone but maimings have been known to happen.
God knows giving up may result in homocides.
 

Mean

Senior Member
I wouldn't put myself in "grumpy" category. My Dad? That was a grumpy man.

I'm just not terribly sociable in the mornings. I mean, nothing outside "hey" anyways. But these people insist on imposing their "good morning" on me. Screw them.

I walked into work one day and one of my coworkers - a retired tug-boat captain and very large man - walked past me and said "Good morning, Ethan!" I grumbled and continued my robotic march to my desk where I sat, drank coffee and read PvPonline.

The guy asked two of my friends, "what's wrong with him?" They looked at each other, looked at him and replied, "what do you mean?" Apparently following a friend-type relationship that was, at that point, in it's 14th year, they had come to realize that I am just not a particularly happy person, and that unless you want me to drag you down to my level, you should seek early morning conversation elsewhere.

A sidenote: I actually got in trouble because I didn't smile. My boss, the V.P. of Technical Services called me into his office to tell me that I should smile more. I was stunned. I thought to myself, "is this how you make an unhappy person happy? Do you call them into your office under the pretense of being in trouble and tell them they should smile more? Kiss my ass, windbag." I said, "is that all?" and left the room before bad things could happen.
 

irishidid

Senior Member
My mom once smacked me for not saying "good morning" cheerfully enough to our housekeeper. The housekeeper felt so bad she made me a special breakfast.
Some people need time to wake up that's all.
 

Scott Tuplin

Senior Member
I have the same problem. Then it merged to the evenings. Now its all day, and the only time I talk is when I'm on here. I am one seriously disturbed person. I think counseling may even do me some good... if I could afford it. I lost my job for being passive with the customers. Get it sorted, friend, before it loses you your job. Trust me, you don't want to sail in this boat.
 

Mean

Senior Member
I lost a job already as a result of my "don't play along" attitude. People in the corporate world are expected to play a political game that causes them to become insencere. A level of butt kissing is also expected. I, however, don't posess the social graces to do either. I've never been good at keeping my true feelings from people and, because of that, I come off as a bit of an ass. My username on these boards is not a coincidence.

It's just that, when somebody asks me my opinion, I take that to mean they really want to know what I'm thinking. Since I'm pretty sure they're not going to listen to my unless I'm saying what they want to hear anyway, I shoot them straight every time. It only causes problems when the word "stupid" is used to describe an idea given by a "superior".

So, I've learned to make myself indespensible in other ways so that I don't have to kiss butt.
 

TsuTseQ

Senior Member
ThatSmokingGuy said:
What's up Grumpy McGrumperson? Actually I'm in the same boat but because coffee is the devils swill, I need that first shot of nicotine before my brain begins to function at a semi-effective level. Haven't actually killed anyone but maimings have been known to happen.
God knows giving up may result in homocides.

Me too!

My friend told me he had read that some scientist somewhere had discovered that nicotine is actually a powerful anti-psychotic. He then advised me to never give it up. Ever!
 
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