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Do children still spin? (1 Viewer)

dannyboy

WF Veterans
so now comes the edits to these collection of "family album poems"

here is the first


do children still spin?


Hot apricot night, the stone softened
the stars outside seasoned
for gravity to pluck
to adorn a coat or throat.

The savannah’s creature stirs
when the apricots are warm
the sky clear
ripening over for the year.

Primordial, the beast fanged and clawed
stalks the aorta
rummages in the stomach region
of the pre-ulcer lawn
forces voice loud as thunderclaps
feet to step and leap
hands to slap and clap.

The creature’s release is in the spin
arms flung wide
head tossed back and eyes closed
for as long as dared.

The spin weaves the brain
away from thought,
from words and lessons and
conscious creation.

Around and around
feet propelling the spin,
the creature driven to explode
outwards into the cosmic bang.

The body hits the earth
stone within spinning
the world’s weight
an embrace –
humans have roots too.




**********************************

Hot summer night
the stars so bright a hand should
be able to pluck them
to adorn a hat or coat.

The creature stirs within
when the nights are warm
the sky clear
and school is over for the year.

Primordial, the beast fanged and clawed
stalking the aorta
rummaging in the stomach region
forcing voices loud as thunderclaps
feet to step and leap
hands to slap and clap.

The creature’s release is in the spin
arms flung wide
head tossed back and eyes closed
for as long as dared.

The whirl weaves the brain
away from thought
from words and lessons and
conscious creation.

Around and around
feet propelling the spin,
the creature driven to explode
outwards into the cosmic bang.

The body hits the earth
arms again wide
mind spinning
and the world’s weight
an embrace –
humans have roots too.
 
Last edited:

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

I find the meaning of this piece to be very difficult to discern, there is a sense of threat within the stanzas that seem to feature, “the beast,” that juxtaposes and creates a sense of discomfort for the reader when they think of the, “children,” of the title. It’s hard to pinpoint the speaker and what I think is clever here is that you seemingly make the reader complicit in some form of voyeurism?

Cheers

Syd
 

dannyboy

WF Veterans
Hi Syd,

nothing so sinister I'm afraid. The beast is the absence of "civilized" actions - the child closer to the natural state reacts to the elements much like an animal (the creature within) or even plants - hence the last line...remember when you'd just get absolutely lost in the moment, not for any other reason tbnan something inside drove you...that's what I am trying to capture here.
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Now don’t I fee silly, clearly I read too much into the beast and this resulted in a rather disturbing reading on my part. I can only apologise and perhaps seek treatment...

Cheers

Syd
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
Hot summer night
the stars so bright a hand should
be able to pluck them
to adorn a hat or coat.

The creature stirs within
when the nights are warm
the sky clear
and school is over for the year.

Primordial, the beast fanged and clawed
stalking the aorta
rummaging in the stomach region
forcing voices loud as thunderclaps
feet to step and leap
hands to slap and clap.

The creature’s release is in the spin
arms flung wide
head tossed back and eyes closed
for as long as dared.

The spin weaves the brain
away from thought
from words and lessons and
conscious creation.

Around and around
feet propelling the spin,
the creature driven to explode
outwards into the cosmic bang.

The body hits the earth
arms again wide
mind spinning
and the world’s weight
an embrace –
humans have roots too.

Lovely, unique imagery.... Yes... there IS a primal instinct in the innocent unawareness of children... I remember it well and this poem brought back fabulous memories, when I felt more like an animal than a child bound by rules and restrictions...I would like to believe that wildness is in me still, sleeping... waiting...

Thank you for sharing this gorgeous poem... ;)
 
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