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Direct Characterization (1 Viewer)

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EternalGreen

Senior Member
This is something I struggle with personally.


Synoptic characterization:

She would rather not be infected with the nanobots, as they cause her to suffer.


Direct characterization:

"I wish I wasn't infected with these nanobots," she said. "They are ruining my quality of life."

Indirect characterization:

She slammed the songbook she was holding and tried to speak, but the nanobots produced sharp, undulating sensations on her tongue, interrupting her stream of consciousness.
 

BornForBurning

Senior Member
It helps, I think, to think about the true, or underlying, meaning of things. On its face, I see no particular reason why someone wouldn't want to be infected by nanobots. What precisely is negative about having mechanical beings living inside you? But you've got to think about what, in this context, the nanobots are. Are they 'the gnawing inner death, that glittering-chrome parasite'? Or might they be 'the molten chrome life-blood, pulsing with mechanical power'? Etc. Allegedly, Homeworld Cataclysm has nanobots as its main villain, except, what are they really, at their core?
 

EternalGreen

Senior Member
The idea was "nanobot hive-mind as the loss of bodily autonomy." So they would be little dictators.

That is, one of the classic Sci-Fi concepts.
 

Olly Buckle

Mentor
Patron
This is something I struggle with personally.

This does not appear to be the case from what follows. However, having 'I' and 'Personally' in the same sentence is something I always struggle with, or should I say, 'Myself, personally, I always struggle with.' :)
 

vranger

Staff member
Supervisor
They're all OK, although I like the second two best. What matters is not which one you use, but which one is most consistent with your voice and style in the rest of the prose.
 
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