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Devour (1 Viewer)

apple

WF Veterans
Devour

His hell bent horse
races to the horizon
where dazzling stars tryst earth
in haunted, silent knowledge.
Bisht streams behind
and snaps the air
with cerulean strikes of silk.
Hoof beats thrum resilient sand.

Asad, I’ve come back with thirst.
Impoverished of shadow and light,
sightless in kaleidoscopes,
I crave discipline for my eyes.
This savage vista
where you stalk hidden.


He urges flesh,
perfect, sinewed and cut,
to storm the wind brushed dunes,
where he declares the icy night.
Sand becomes his seed.
He licks the stars.
Banshee screams soar like kites.
then slice to perfected silence.

Asad, if I am in your gaze
Fall me now. Fill yourself within.
I’m swelled beyond your teeth and talons.
There is no violence in truth.
I am home again.
Our blood remembers.


The rider raptures.
He swallows God.
Exhilaration burns him alive.
 

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

This isn’t the sort of poetry that I would normally read, however; the imagery is so strong throughout that it has carried me through from start to finish. I’ve read it a few times and I’ll be back a few times more, because I don’t feel as a reader I’ve got a handle on it yet.

Overall really enjoyed this and I don’t think I have much to add in terms of criticism.

Cheers

Syd
 

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
The imagery is great. The arabic word 'asad' means lion, so I was a little confused at first.
I like the almost 'jahiliyya' (= pre-islamic poetry) atmosphere. Great writing.
 

apple

WF Veterans
Thank you Syd, for reading. I've always had a romanticized idea of Arab -ness lol from old movies and books I've read. Sheiks, nomads, passion, red tents. I read a true account of a Bedouin who had never been outside his desert vista. When he finally traveled into a big , bustling city, he became sick and dizzy from the noise. He could not discern shapes and objects. He became blind and overwhelmed by color. I built my poem on that idea. Coming home .

Darren, I was a little concerned about using Asad, but I just couldn't bring myself to use the word Lion. I know it's not necessarily a good idea to have the reader look up meanings. This is an older poem dug up from my archives . Thank you for reading , Darren.
 

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
Apple, Arabic is one of my main languages, I didn't have to look it up. Plus, I don't think you need to translate names. It speaks for itself. I was only looking for the lion because I speak Arabic, it's not a problem at all. I had all sorts of nostalgic feelings reading your poem. Pre-islamic poetry was the subject I graduated on :)
 

apple

WF Veterans
Wow, Darren, really? Pre-Islamic poetry. That is fascinating. I did look up the meaning o jahiliyaa which means barbarous or ignorant and without structure. Thank you for enjoying my poem.
 
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