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Crave Not Love (1 Viewer)

Nate Gallon

Senior Member
Crave not love, for it's agony rusts deeply,
Cracking it's lore;
'Cause lusting stills of want entrap your thwarted desire.

Crave. Not love.

And love does not exist as a monumental place, but from within!
Within!
May it entice detour from primal urge.

Free your mind from first and second afterthoughts.
Let not prettiness flutter grown, for what we're meant to do is ugly to say the least.

Do not love.

It is your thought of love that topples your enjoyment;
And lust is not an intrusion meant to ruin your fun.

Crave.

Your fruitful outcome will teach your desire how to please you and all your true desire.
Love is instructive, and
as the guiding mother and father,
largely shrouded in hindsight,
comforting one with easing safety,
you can teach each other how to please like no parent ever has.

And pleasure topples any thought of love;
And body trumps the soul in terms of what we feel.
Lessons of fun ever craved,
lest reluctant lets of innocence endrunken our cheer.
Not jeering at sentimental,
little,
rare scenes,
rolling away in our head;
But unraveling true love
in (the indecency of)
our beds.

Crave not love,
for it is clear jest
in scope of our fervor.

Crave.

Crave all you people and each other.

The thought of being afraid should lure us as well as our tensing yokes keep us way away and
hold back our every move
since daybreak.
Release your own body from the yoke,
and you should see freedom flashing
as you free
your chastisement
and nod in confusion
asking yourself why
you never used
that
key.

Your own freedom is held in your body like a chest without a lock;
free at your command.
Crave not lovely ideas,
for such false dreams,
enticing those false claims of yours,
may manifest into a poisonous truth. Crave not love.

Crave. Not love.

Crave not lust,
For lust is love.
 
Last edited:

2020Syd2020

Senior Member
Hello,

Within this, the central concept and the meaning that I have as a reader conferred upon the piece has a clear and worthy message that I appreciate.

Structurally the architecture of the piece, is appealing to the eye and well thought it out. This being said, and I hope I don’t stray too far in this particular sub forum, but I feel that the utilisation of some of the longer lines feels somewhat jarring it unbalances the piece in places and makes it feel heavy, where I think it would benefit from more brevity.

I hope this helps and would be happy to go into it line by line if that was something that interests you.

Cheers

Syd
 

Firemajic

Poetry Mentor
Staff member
Senior Mentor
hummmm... this poem is ALL about emotion... yes? But the tone is rather... emotionless...ashes after a blazing inferno....

You have some very good lines, and a unique POV... and that, I love.....
 

ladygarmadone17

Senior Member
Yeah the lines are a little long.
But I do get what you’re saying, and boy do I agree with you. This is currently how I view my world, right now. Devastatingly, the world has viewed me the same way. But in a forum like this, why talk about politics?

On the other hand, this does provoke thoughts I and others don’t want to suffer myself, and yet we literally been shooting ourselves in the foot, not realizing we’ve actually been asking for all this.

Sorry I just wanted to speak my views, that this poem evoked, no offense hopefully. But despite the longevity of some of the lines, you still you have a great poem. [emoji4]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
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