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Crafting a sexual predator. (1 Viewer)

Stormcat

Senior Member
Many years before Fifty Shades of Grey became the de-facto "Pop Abusive relationship romance" novel series, there was another series that fit the bill. It was a YA series known as Twilight. In it, the protagonist Bella Swan gets manipulated Swept off her feet by the Creepy Stalker Handsome brooding Edward Cullen, who just happens to be a pedophile vampire. They can't be together because of reasons, but they eventually get married, have a baby (Conceived via rape and whose pregnancy almost killed Bella) who they then "gift" as a victim future lover for their pedophile werewolf friend whom Bella almost ended up with instead.

Yeah, if you can't tell already, I spotted the red flags in that series Very, VERY quickly when I attempted to read it. However, It did inspire me not only to become a writer (and Prove I'm better at it than Stephanie Meyer) And to write a character based on the abusive hunky Edward Cullen. Back in the day, there used to be websites that went into detail as to Edward's behavior, and why it's so abusive. But after swapping computers a couple of times, I can no longer track them down. Can't even get a used copy of Twilight at the second-hand book store because it's been so long most of the copies have been thrown out already.

So for Robert Pattinson's sake, I'll step away from Twilight for a bit and focus on general scumbag and abusive behaviors men are sometimes prone to. As I may have mentioned elsewhere, I am on the spectrum so some real-life abusive behaviors fly right over my head. So I'll make a few questions to illustrate what I'm looking for:

1. The scene I'm currently working on is the introduction to my Cullen expy. What do I do to illustrate that something seems very "off" about him and it unsettles my protagonist?
2. This guy is popular, well-groomed, charismatic, handsome, and quite wealthy, but other than being "off" what sorts of flaws can I give him?
3. In the realm of my story, people have magical powers. What powers could I give to this guy to give him an edge in stalking my protagonist?
4. Just what is "grooming" anyway, and how does a man attempt to "groom" a woman a few years younger than him?
5. My Protagonist is married, what sort of things could this guy do to try and lure her away from the husband?
 

MooreMom523

Senior Member
In response to question 1/sort of 2...

I think having him give little noticeable white lies/inconsistencies in things he says. Things that there is no reason to lie about in casual conversation but that the protagonist catches him in as they first get to know each other. Perhaps when they first meet he says he works at place ABC but then she sees him working at place X. When she asks him about his job at ABC he tries to blow it off saying he meant that he used to work there and he must have misspoke. It could be even something more subtle but perhaps something he would say to get her attention/impress her but then a short while later counteracts.

Also a male who seems overly interested or knowledgeable about things I'm interested in that are "niche" type things always puts me a little on edge. Like if I was to say "I love to cross-stitch on rainy days," or something that isn't a super common hobby - especially for a male- and the guy is like "Whoa! Yeah, totally I love to do that too, or I mean I did, haven't done it lately but..." RED FLAG! :oops:

3. Not sure.

(The following answer may be triggering for victims of sexual assault or other aggression)
4. Grooming is a subtle (often unconscious/impulsive behavior by true predators) attempt at gaining someone's trust and confidence so as to be able to control the situations they are in with them and the perspective the other person puts on scenarios where the predator is involved. It might be in the form of buying gifts, saying words the predator knows will flatter or endear the potential victim, and attempts at impressing the other person. Grooming often makes victims let down their guard so that when a predator makes an advance that may otherwise have been very unwanted by the victim they are not as reactive and only after the fact realize how uncomfortable they were with what happened - and are more likely to brush it off as "well he/she must not have known I was uncomfortable".

5. Someone trying to lure someone away from a spouse may listen carefully to the conversations they have with the person and at any sign of the spouse having potentially done wrong or cause grief, make the spouse's poor action seem larger than it was. "Oh my gosh - did he REALLY work late again? I can see why you were so frustrated, it's like he has no idea of your needs." Etc. That's just one approach.
 

Stormcat

Senior Member
In response to question 1/sort of 2...

I think having him give little noticeable white lies/inconsistencies in things he says. Things that there is no reason to lie about in casual conversation but that the protagonist catches him in as they first get to know each other. Perhaps when they first meet he says he works at place ABC but then she sees him working at place X. When she asks him about his job at ABC he tries to blow it off saying he meant that he used to work there and he must have misspoke. It could be even something more subtle but perhaps something he would say to get her attention/impress her but then a short while later counteracts.

Also a male who seems overly interested or knowledgeable about things I'm interested in that are "niche" type things always puts me a little on edge. Like if I was to say "I love to cross-stitch on rainy days," or something that isn't a super common hobby - especially for a male- and the guy is like "Whoa! Yeah, totally I love to do that too, or I mean I did, haven't done it lately but..." RED FLAG! :oops:
I was thinking more along the lines of physical appearance or behavior. After all, she will see this guy before he comes over to talk to her.

EDIT: I found this video about creepy guys, and I've already got the "predatory" look down. But are there others?
 
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MooreMom523

Senior Member
I was thinking more along the lines of physical appearance or behavior. After all, she will see this guy before he comes over to talk to her.

EDIT: I found this video about creepy guys, and I've already got the "predatory" look down. But are there others?
Ah, well then I'm not certain. Some would depend on your character herself and her world views. Some people would see different features differently based on background and personal experiences so this might be something you have to draw on based on who the character viewing him is.

For example some might see a man with many tattoos as unsavory or a sign of trouble (although less so in modern times) while that wouldn't even register as anything important to someone else. Some women enjoy a man who seems confident and maybe a bit pushy/smug looking while for others that would be a warning sign. I think you probably have a good idea to go from and now you need to put yourself in your characters shoes and think about what exactly would she focus on based on what you know about her.

Happy writing!
 

K.S. Crooks

Senior Member
Have him get irritated or angry when something, that's not a big deal to most people, isn't done exactly the way he wants; especially when being done by a woman.
Many men like this are insecure and lack confidence. They don't like women in positions of authority
Better hearing or vision could help with tracking. Being able to create small illusions or see the person through a device might be what you want.
Grooming is like slowly turning up the temperature to a pot of water. If your hand is in the water as it warms you feel accustomed to the temperature even as it gets very hot. The groomer will start subtle and slowly become more direct with what they want. The groomer will have priorities for what their victim to learn.
He might research both the woman and her husband to find out what she likes and doesn't like, and what her husband isn't doing that makes her happy. Acting selfless toward her and others; make her the priority, asking her opinion about important matters.
 

Matchu

Senior Member
In purely ‘definition terms’ - sexual predator means rather more than a sleaze or lousy guy. You’d have the great joy of researching ‘mind of a rapist’ or ‘child sexual predator/P word.’

I’m uncomfortable with the blurred lines re issue/language - aftershave/quiff & a property portfolio does not equal sexual predator.

does that make sense, I’m tapping on a matchbox-type device.
 

Stormcat

Senior Member
In purely ‘definition terms’ - sexual predator means rather more than a sleaze or lousy guy. You’d have the great joy of researching ‘mind of a rapist’ or ‘child sexual predator/P word.’

I’m uncomfortable with the blurred lines re issue/language - aftershave/quiff & a property portfolio does not equal sexual predator.

does that make sense, I’m tapping on a matchbox-type device.
I think I get what you are trying to say, but I have a counter to that.

Jeffrey Epstein was a literal billionaire and average-looking guy, but he STILL chose to traffic minors to his island for sexual purposes. As a billionaire, he probably could've had dozens of consenting, adult partners, but nope, he went the pedophilia route. Being wealthy didn't take away his sexual predation, but it could've led to his murder.
 

Matchu

Senior Member
Well...I have a keyboard now...such is my pleasure.

If I recall - I think I was trying to put distance between 'odious creep' and 'clinical psychopath' (apols to medical science if I have butchered terms).

...to answer your original enquiry [how to write a...] - I'd start by creating a dialogue between two males - really slap on the high society/jet lifestyle cliches - probably quite enjoy the crafting of the 'Monte Carlo, so desperately passe, blah blah' section - and work toward the fellas discussing race horse physique, slabbering champers, leaving the horse talk ambiguous, spooking readers in my chapter 2 - that these two are wrong uns.

'A fine filly...'

'Haw haw haw,' said prince Andrew.


That whole Epstein, high end hotels, luxury and such like, call girls - is very suggestive of criminality, gangsterism, depravity - I wouldn't want to write about it for too long. Another route might be to 'celebrate' glamour as your opening - stepping toward the underworld through the chapters/an invisible hand.
 

Stormcat

Senior Member
Well...I have a keyboard now...such is my pleasure.

If I recall - I think I was trying to put distance between 'odious creep' and 'clinical psychopath' (apols to medical science if I have butchered terms).

...to answer your original enquiry [how to write a...] - I'd start by creating a dialogue between two males - really slap on the high society/jet lifestyle cliches - probably quite enjoy the crafting of the 'Monte Carlo, so desperately passe, blah blah' section - and work toward the fellas discussing race horse physique, slabbering champers, leaving the horse talk ambiguous, spooking readers in my chapter 2 - that these two are wrong uns.

'A fine filly...'

'Haw haw haw,' said prince Andrew.


That whole Epstein, high end hotels, luxury and such like, call girls - is very suggestive of criminality, gangsterism, depravity - I wouldn't want to write about it for too long. Another route might be to 'celebrate' glamour as your opening - stepping toward the underworld through the chapters/an invisible hand.
I've only got one sexual predator in this story, and it mostly concerns his pursuit/ stalking of a married woman who he thinks should have been "his".
 

Matchu

Senior Member
This guy is popular, well-groomed, charismatic, handsome, and quite wealthy, but other than being "off" what sorts of flaws can I give him? Micro nipples, chubby hips, tiny feet, eggy ears, penis like a tape worm
3. In the realm of my story, people have magical powers. What powers could I give to this guy to give him an edge in stalking my protagonist? With each burst of his fist pot-holes appear in the room, the road. Protagonist stumbles at holes, twists ankle
4. Just what is "grooming" anyway, and how does a man attempt to "groom" a woman a few years younger than him? 'Have you lost weight? I'm sure you have, [gurgle] my comfort zone is always open to talking.'
5. My Protagonist is married, what sort of things could this guy do to try and lure her away from the husband? Puts a hole in husband's speedboat. He's away fishing - with a hole in his boat when Beardos Gray appears in the door frame - holds a chilled bottle of sparkling white wine. Probably wearing jean shorts from 1972.
 

Stormcat

Senior Member
Well, here's what I wrote so far. The scene is at a wake, David and Chelsea are a married couple, Alex is their friend who was talking to them just moments before. Is this a good enough way to Introduce the predator? I know I focused more on his actions rather than his physical appearance.

"Chelsea, is there something wrong?" David asked, no longer speaking in the carefully monitored tone.

She didn't have to answer, as a man strode over to the couple. "Ah, if it isn't the newlyweds. That was such a lovely wedding, what a shame it ended the way it did." Chelsea finally looked up from her husband's shoulder and gasped. She knew him. This was the smug man who held a knife at her throat, The sneer was identical.

"Oh... hello Edmund," David said with a veneer of disgust.

"Well, Aren't you going to introduce us?" asked Edmund, towering over Chelsea.

Reluctantly, David agreed to the request. "I believe you already know my wife, Chelsea. Chelsea, this is Edmund Culvert, one of Caiaphas Kaiser's numerous grandchildren."

"And?" Culvert asked as if David had forgotten a key detail.

David sighed "And the future prophet of the Exceptionalist Church".

"Thank you, I do expect credit where credit is due." Culvert eyed Chelsea up more closely than he had been. "Goodness, already rushing into producing heirs. What a good, obedient little wife."

"She's not pregnant." David defended his wife. "She's been very sickly and is only now getting back to a healthy weight."

Chelsea clung tighter to her husband. Culvert sensed Chelsea's fear and relished it. "If she had been given to me, like my Grandfather originally planned, she definitely would be by now."

Stifling a sob, Chelsea refused to look at the man now breathing down her neck. David held her tightly, but they had nowhere to retreat to. Alex stepped inbetween the three of them and used his sheer mass to shield Chelsea. "Doesn't your grandfather need help with the radio?"

Finally taking the hint that he was not wanted, Culvert finally left, just in time for Chelsea to begin shedding genuine tears.
 

Stormcat

Senior Member
Well, after some time writing, I have hit the next biggest hurdle with this character. My Protagonist has slighted him by telling him "No". He's absolutely enraged by her "Transgression" But what can he do about it?
 
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