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Cover letter for job application, need help and advice (1 Viewer)

erusson

Senior Member
Hi everyone,
I know this is a forum more for creative non-fiction, but I figured it couldn't do any harm posting my cover letter. The job I'm applying for is a Social Media Assistant for Laura Ashley, here's the link for context: SOCIAL MEDIA ASSISTANT (3 DAYS PER WEEK) - RetailChoice.com
If anyone, maybe someone who has had to recruit people in the past, could tell me whether or not this seems like a good cover letter, that would be very helpful! :grin:


Dear Sir or Madam,

In response to the vacancy for a Social Media Assistant, please find attached my CV for your consideration.

I am currently a paid blogger for an online retail company, and during this role I have gained marketing and promotional experience, particularly via social media routes. My duties include promoting the company through sites such as Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter, as well as writing for the blog itself.

I have achieved a 2:1 English with Creative Writing, and so I'm used to thinking creatively. University has developed my people skills and I have great verbal and written communication skills, which have been improved by my academic and work experiences.

I would like to take the opportunity to briefly outline how I believe I have demonstrated the skills mentioned in your job description:

From a social media / journalism background

I have done several work experience placements within the media industry, having worked across platforms, in a local newspaper office, at a television office and at a magazine office. My work was published during both of these roles, and at the newspaper office I conducted the research for the articles as well as writing them. This was often done through interviews with the public. I also have experience in administrative tasks from these placements.

Photography

I have basic knowledge of most types of camera, including video as well as stationary shots. I also have experience of Photoshop and of uploading images to social media websites. My interest in art has also given me a good eye for how an image should be framed etc.

Creative thinker

As shown by my degree, I have a keen interest in creative writing, and at university I completed two dissertations and several fiction-writing assignments ahead of schedule. I'm used to thinking both creatively and logically, both of which were required for my course. In general I'm a very creative person with hobbies including card-making, scrapbooking, painting and sketching, the theatre, and writing short stories and novels.

I would very much like the opportunity to speak to you further regarding this role.

Yours Faithfully,
Emma Russon
 

row

Member
Cover Letter

Hello Emma,
Honestly, it's hard for me to judge its content because I've never dealt with cover letters before. I can, however, judge the writing, and considering the position you're applying for I think it's an important part of the cover letter. I thought it was weak. You're main problem is that it's painfully awkward and at times wordy. Also, the format with the headings was unprofessional. Luckily, you can make it much better with a few edits. I have included my thoughts here.
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Good luck with your job application.
Peace,
Row
 

erusson

Senior Member
Hello Emma,
Honestly, it's hard for me to judge its content because I've never dealt with cover letters before. I can, however, judge the writing, and considering the position you're applying for I think it's an important part of the cover letter. I thought it was weak. You're main problem is that it's painfully awkward and at times wordy. Also, the format with the headings was unprofessional. Luckily, you can make it much better with a few edits. I have included my thoughts here.
View attachment 3799
View attachment 3800
View attachment 3801
Good luck with your job application.
Peace,
Row

I agree with pretty much everything you've said but I wonder if you could expand on what you mean by "awkward"? You've said it a few times and I'm not entirely sure what you mean on some sentences/paragraphs.

Also what do you mean by "parallelism error"? xx
 

row

Member
When I say "awkward" I just mean you should rephrase it because it sounds weird or unprofessional the way that it's composed. In other words, when I say that I'm implying that your ideas are fine but your diction and syntax are weak.

Parallelism is when the verb conjugations don't match up. For example, this sentence has a parallelism error: "I like to ride my bike, fishing, and playing soccer." The sentence should be one of the following:
"I like to ride my bike, fish, and play soccer"
"I like to ride my bike, to fish, and to play soccer"
or "I like riding my bike, fishing, and playing soccer."

All the verbs must match up. It's very possible that there is no parallelism error. I can't tell what you mean in the sentence that I wrote that. I'm not sure if it's because it's wrong or because I'm not familiar with the field, so I'm assuming the latter. Therefore I can't tell if there is an error, but depending on what you mean it sounds like there could be one so you should review it to make sure.
 

erusson

Senior Member
When I say "awkward" I just mean you should rephrase it because it sounds weird or unprofessional the way that it's composed. In other words, when I say that I'm implying that your ideas are fine but your diction and syntax are weak.

Parallelism is when the verb conjugations don't match up. For example, this sentence has a parallelism error: "I like to ride my bike, fishing, and playing soccer." The sentence should be one of the following:
"I like to ride my bike, fish, and play soccer"
"I like to ride my bike, to fish, and to play soccer"
or "I like riding my bike, fishing, and playing soccer."

All the verbs must match up. It's very possible that there is no parallelism error. I can't tell what you mean in the sentence that I wrote that. I'm not sure if it's because it's wrong or because I'm not familiar with the field, so I'm assuming the latter. Therefore I can't tell if there is an error, but depending on what you mean it sounds like there could be one so you should review it to make sure.

I'm amazed that my first answer made any sense since I was battered when I wrote that last night! (Well, it WAS Christmas Eve after all.) I think you're right about syntax; I've never been great with my sentence structure. It always ends up awkward, as you say, and quite wordy. I will cut it down (after Christmas obviously!) and repost before I send it :)
 

mritt400

Senior Member
The best advice that I've come across regarding covering letters is to keep them short. It does work. I've received more attention and more interest when I've kept my cover letters short.

Consider concentrating on writing something that is brief, but dense. Economy of language is key. The idea being that you'll pique the readers interest so that they'll want to know more about you (diving into your CV). Once they've looked at your cover letter (and you've hopefully managed to interest them) they'll be more apt to really actually read the content of your CV for the particulars of your experience. But, don't simply repackage the experience you're already using in your CV into cover-letter-form - it's redundant, and may potentially bore or disinterest a hiring director.

I've obviously not seen your CV but, I suspect there's a bit of that going on here (the repackaging bit). The cover letter is a a starter, keep the meat and potatoes in the CV. Of course, this is all just one opinion of many regarding this type of thing, anyway...Best of luck!
 

erusson

Senior Member
Thanks for all the advice everyone, I'm going to have a redraft and send it off now that Christmas is over for another year :(

Just one more question - does anyone have any idea what I should put in the body of the email? It specifies that I have to apply by email, and to attach the cover letter and CV, so should I just do the whole "I'm emailing about this vacancy, job ref etc, please find attached..."?
 

Helen

Member
Thanks for all the advice everyone, I'm going to have a redraft and send it off now that Christmas is over for another year :(

Just one more question - does anyone have any idea what I should put in the body of the email? It specifies that I have to apply by email, and to attach the cover letter and CV, so should I just do the whole "I'm emailing about this vacancy, job ref etc, please find attached..."?

Hello! Just wondering whether you ever heard anything back from Laura Ashley or had an interview? I had an interview towards the beginning of January but never heard anything back after that. I'm probably more upset that they haven't bothered to even contact me and let me know it's a 'no' than even being rejected at all! I've emailed them twice and asked for interview feedback and received no response. I wish they'd just say no to me so I can move on and be done with it.
 

erusson

Senior Member
Hello! Just wondering whether you ever heard anything back from Laura Ashley or had an interview? I had an interview towards the beginning of January but never heard anything back after that. I'm probably more upset that they haven't bothered to even contact me and let me know it's a 'no' than even being rejected at all! I've emailed them twice and asked for interview feedback and received no response. I wish they'd just say no to me so I can move on and be done with it.

The thing that bothers me most of all with jobhunting is that so many recruiters don't even bother to answer you, especially when you've put so much effort in. I think it's even ruder when you've had an interview, as you've bothered to prepare for and go to the interview, possibly spending a fair amount on travel, and they just can't be bothered to send a quick email.

I didn't hear anything from them. I emailed them a couple of weeks after I applied to follow up, and they said they'd be letting people know within the month. I heard bugger all, even though the job was perfect for my qualifications, skills AND experience. Recruiters are just pig-ignorant.

I had an interview a few months ago for another job and in their rejection letter they told me that I should email them if I wanted feedback. I emailed them twice and got nothing as well! Believe me, I feel your pain. I've wanted to write an angry letter to so many recruiters.

I'd move on with it, especially if it was this particular job that you were interviewed for because they've almost definitely found someone for it now. Definitely don't just hold out for one job, because if you do eventually get an offer from them you can always say no to any lesser-liked jobs that you just applied for because you needed the money. Let me know how your jobhunt goes, I think it's best to have some support when you're looking for work since it makes you feel so demoralised when everyone just ignores you x

PS. Well done for getting to the interview stage by the way! At least you know you're doing something right on your applications x
 

Helen

Member
The thing that bothers me most of all with jobhunting is that so many recruiters don't even bother to answer you, especially when you've put so much effort in. I think it's even ruder when you've had an interview, as you've bothered to prepare for and go to the interview, possibly spending a fair amount on travel, and they just can't be bothered to send a quick email.

I didn't hear anything from them. I emailed them a couple of weeks after I applied to follow up, and they said they'd be letting people know within the month. I heard bugger all, even though the job was perfect for my qualifications, skills AND experience. Recruiters are just pig-ignorant.

I had an interview a few months ago for another job and in their rejection letter they told me that I should email them if I wanted feedback. I emailed them twice and got nothing as well! Believe me, I feel your pain. I've wanted to write an angry letter to so many recruiters.

I'd move on with it, especially if it was this particular job that you were interviewed for because they've almost definitely found someone for it now. Definitely don't just hold out for one job, because if you do eventually get an offer from them you can always say no to any lesser-liked jobs that you just applied for because you needed the money. Let me know how your jobhunt goes, I think it's best to have some support when you're looking for work since it makes you feel so demoralised when everyone just ignores you x

PS. Well done for getting to the interview stage by the way! At least you know you're doing something right on your applications x

Thank you so much for your reply - it really did make my day. It's so nice to read words of encouragement when you're job hunting as it's such a demoralising process. I chased it up again today and this time managed to get a straight answer out of them although, unfortunately, very little constructive criticism from the interview. At least I can just forget about it now! Onwards and upwards, eh?

Hope things work out for you too, it sounds like we're in a very similar position, I studied English in Kent as well! Please update this thread if you have any luck with the job search as I'd love to know how it's going!

Thanks again - I'm feeling more optimistic about it all now :)
 

erusson

Senior Member
Thank you so much for your reply - it really did make my day. It's so nice to read words of encouragement when you're job hunting as it's such a demoralising process. I chased it up again today and this time managed to get a straight answer out of them although, unfortunately, very little constructive criticism from the interview. At least I can just forget about it now! Onwards and upwards, eh?

Hope things work out for you too, it sounds like we're in a very similar position, I studied English in Kent as well! Please update this thread if you have any luck with the job search as I'd love to know how it's going!

Thanks again - I'm feeling more optimistic about it all now :)

Very similar positions then! Except I studied in Cornwall, I live in Kent :)

Yep I definitely do not like the jobhunting process, I had an interview yesterday that I thought went really well but got a rejection phonecall today, so boo! She couldn't give me any feedback either since the woman who interviewed me is on holiday. So annoying!

Let's just keep trying eh? xx
 
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