A
anon
What can I contribute to the college community?
I have always prided myself on wanting others to have a lot of fun all the time. Which means that you, Loyola College, can depend on me to bring a lot of boose and hookers to your college community. I am a firm believer in the acronym, BYOB, which can be interpreted in two ways, Bring Your Own Beer, or the popular - Bring Your own Bitches. However, for the best possible result I will combine the two meanings to form such a college philosophy as has never been seen before. Imagine yourself sitting in the college sauna with two luscious broads on each arm and a beer between your lips, that’s right, sip away Mr. Dean of Admissions, this one is on me. I am no mere frat boy mind you, I have spent years of my life perfecting the art of getting around the law in order to bring the masses lots of hookers and beer. I bring beauty to racketeering, I bring grace to shoplifting, and I most certainly bring style. My hooker and beer smuggling techniques have become internationally known and copied in the underground world. I will do for your college what no other freshman can do, create a veritable beer and hooker cartel right on your front doorstep.
Say you wake up in the middle of the night with a hankering for a beer. You go to your refrigerator and grasp a bottle, but then gasp in horror. You’ve just realized you don’t have a hooker handy! After all, what is a cold one with out a hooker, am I right? Well you no longer have to fear my friend, because I am the one to come to for hookers, and as I said before, this one is on me.
In conclusion, I will bring Loyola a sense of brotherhood and community through prostitution and drunkenness. After all, hookers and beer are really, very cool.
I have always prided myself on wanting others to have a lot of fun all the time. Which means that you, Loyola College, can depend on me to bring a lot of boose and hookers to your college community. I am a firm believer in the acronym, BYOB, which can be interpreted in two ways, Bring Your Own Beer, or the popular - Bring Your own Bitches. However, for the best possible result I will combine the two meanings to form such a college philosophy as has never been seen before. Imagine yourself sitting in the college sauna with two luscious broads on each arm and a beer between your lips, that’s right, sip away Mr. Dean of Admissions, this one is on me. I am no mere frat boy mind you, I have spent years of my life perfecting the art of getting around the law in order to bring the masses lots of hookers and beer. I bring beauty to racketeering, I bring grace to shoplifting, and I most certainly bring style. My hooker and beer smuggling techniques have become internationally known and copied in the underground world. I will do for your college what no other freshman can do, create a veritable beer and hooker cartel right on your front doorstep.
Say you wake up in the middle of the night with a hankering for a beer. You go to your refrigerator and grasp a bottle, but then gasp in horror. You’ve just realized you don’t have a hooker handy! After all, what is a cold one with out a hooker, am I right? Well you no longer have to fear my friend, because I am the one to come to for hookers, and as I said before, this one is on me.
In conclusion, I will bring Loyola a sense of brotherhood and community through prostitution and drunkenness. After all, hookers and beer are really, very cool.
That's either very funny in jest, or very cool in reality! This is getting back in touch with my "inner frat" of course.