Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

[Collab] Vranger and Pip present "Hagglin' Over the Price" (1 Viewer)

vranger

Staff member
Supervisor
Hagglin’ Over the Price

Dear Ms. Forsythe, I write for Tucson Tex, the Country Star. He's a fan. I'm to ask if you'd furnish a poem I’ll adapt into a song for his next album. He'll pay advance against royalties. You get liner credit. You’ll need to join ASCAP.

Regards, Cal Fetlock.

I can't believe this daffy poet has anything worth my time, but Tex is stubborn about this. Sheesh!

***

Wow! What a nerve. A Country Hick I've never heard of wants to bastardise my poetry and I have to join ASCAP for the pleasure. I am sorely tempted to tell him to go take a hike but pride won't pay the bills. We will see.

Dear Mr. Fetlock, I’m flattered Tuscon Tex is a fan and would like to adapt one of my poems. However, as Poet Laureate for London 2021, I hope he understands I command a substantial fee. I would also insist on final approval before it is released. Yours sincerely, Julia Forsythe

***

Goodness, some of these dames have ego! Our bus rolled through London, Texas last tour. Nothin’ but a crossroads with a gas pump! But I'll give her credit. Any poet who can throw a lariat is aces in my book.

Dear Ms. Forsythe, Well, of course Tucson always offers a genuine autographed 8x10 photograph seated on his favorite horse, Chester. But even though his last 20 albums have gone Platinum, business is business. I’m not authorized to offer more than $10,000. Your friend, Cal.

***

Great. Not only does the hick want to bastardise my poetry, but he also wants to send me a signed photograph of him chewing on a piece of straw while astride a nag fit for the knacker's yard. I should suggest he joins British Dressage UK as one of MY conditions. Still, $10,000? Not to be sniffed at. Why do I feel like a high-class literary whore? And I don't like this Cal chappy. Do all Americans conduct business with strangers in such an over-familiar way? I must check out this Tex on YouTube.

Dear Mr. Fetlock,

I’m not a Ms. I am a Mrs. Given the fact Tucson Tex has generously included a signed photograph of himself and his favourite horse as part of the deal, I’m willing to accept $10,000 on this occasion. Please send the contract for review and approval.

***

Dear Mrs. Forsyth, Contract attached with proviso $10,000 is payable immediately on final lyric approval. That will need to be done before Tucson mosies into the studio in three weeks. Link for eSig included. Please reply with material. - Cal

heh heh - That always gets 'em. They just can't turn down that cash.

***

Dear Mr. Fetlock,

I have perused the contract and note Tucson expects an in-person meet. You failed to mention this when we only agreed $10,000. Please understand while I'd love to visit his ranch and be guest of honour at a concert, I have engagements in London which would need to be cancelled and appearance fees returned. Then there is the cost of flights and other expenses.

Incidentally, I have been unable to find a 'Tucson' on YouTube or Spotify, please send me the links.

I can't believe he wants me to travel all the way to Texas on a whim. I HAVE a life. I'm a famous poet now. Sheesh ... but it would be nice to see Texas.

***

Well ma’am, if you can’t make it we all understand conflicts. Howsomeever, Tucson’s studio schedule is set in stone. Enclosed is a calendar showing Tucson’s tour schedule for the next year, and a promo code so you can order CDs at tucsontex.com. You’ll enjoy “Tucson Tex Sings the Immortal Western Ballads of Roy Rogers”. I’d like to get along with exchanging your poem for payment so I can write the first draft. As they say, “Dawn’s a’breakin' and time’s a’wastin'. - Cal

How much is there to do in London, Texas anyway? She gotta be clockin’ in at the IGA every day or somethin’?

***

Hmmm... '“Dawn’s a’breakin' and time’s a’wastin'", indeed. Adds open an account at Harrod's department store and accept Daphne's invitation to tea at the Ritz to my 'To Do' list. She will be green with envy when I tell her some hick is willing to pay me $10,000 for ten lines of poetry. There's one born every minute.

Good morning, Cal,

Here is the poem:

Mind Games
Mind retreats into fetal pose
This is not the life I chose
flat, not round or even square
no rainbows just black and white
a monochrome of who I am
tranquility descends like snow
frozen fear now courage
and acceptance of who I am
the world's flat
but that's okay

There are 10 lines. One per $1000. Let me know if you would like any edits or extra lines and I'll oblige. Please transfer payment using TransferWise as they offer the best exchange rate. Banks are the modern-day highwaymen.

Julia

***

Sorta hoity-toity, but the lady gave me somethin’ to work with.

Hi Julia,

Those lines are inspirational. I ran the lyrics by Tucson. He’s tickled pink. Fans won’t recognize you before, but they will after he mentions you in shows. Ol’ Tucson, he’s a stickler for class:

—After a six pack the world sure looks strange
Lying flat on my back, the colors all change.
If I can't get up, I'm happy on the floor
I got no fear, ‘til my wife comes in the door.—

Weren’t as painful as these treatments generally turn out to be. Whew!

***

Cal, looks good to me. I’ll send you my bank details. Please ensure the original poem is read prior to Tucson performing your version, so MY fans understand how you bastardised my poem.

There is a special word that ladies should only use on the rare occasion when ‘polite’ vocabulary fails to truly express one's feelings. Today is one of those occasions.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
I wondered if there would be noticeable breaks where collaborators wrote various parts and you two not only used those breaks but you've played them up to effect in this story.

This is a fun read, Pip and vranger. Now I'm curious how things went overall with writing together and is there a chance you'll team up again in the future?
 

vranger

Staff member
Supervisor
I wondered if there would be noticeable breaks where collaborators wrote various parts and you two not only used those breaks but you've played them up to effect in this story.

This is a fun read, Pip and vranger. Now I'm curious how things went overall with writing together and is there a chance you'll team up again in the future?

After we agreed on the general plan, each response flowed out of the previous one. We had some delays where each of us was busy for a few days, or we could have completed this much sooner. PiP gave me some great set-ups. Without a word limit, I think we could easily have made a short story out of it. I'd be honored to work with PiP again. Maybe I can talk her into the further adventures of Cal and Julia if the right prompt shows up. ;-) After all, Julia hasn't attended the concert yet ...
 

PiP

Staff member
Co-Owner
This is great :D
I'm starting to feel sorry for not being able to write fiction!

You can!
https://www.flashesofbrilliance.org...a-straight-line-by-darren-white/#.YFzrJ9yny70
No excuses

After we agreed on the general plan, each response flowed out of the previous one. We had some delays where each of us was busy for a few days, or we could have completed this much sooner. PiP gave me some great set-ups. Without a word limit, I think we could easily have made a short story out of it. I'd be honored to work with PiP again. Maybe I can talk her into the further adventures of Cal and Julia if the right prompt shows up. ;-) After all, Julia hasn't attended the concert yet ...

Yep, we were well into our stride when we realised we only had 1000 words to play with.
This is a fun read, Pip and vranger. Now I'm curious how things went overall with writing together and is there a chance you'll team up again in the future?

I thoroughly enjoyed the collaboration. I learned a lot. Further adventures with Cal and Tucson would be a great idea! I had a very clear picture of Julia ... her character was based on a RL person :)
 

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
Trust me on this. If you can write 100 good words, you can write 200, then 500. After a while you have a book. ;-)
I already have a book ;)
Alternatively, I challenge you to write a poem for the Poetry Showcase. If you do, I agree to look for a partner for the next collab challenge. Bribery? Sure it is, hahaha.
 

vranger

Staff member
Supervisor
I already have a book ;)
Alternatively, I challenge you to write a poem for the Poetry Showcase. If you do, I agree to look for a partner for the next collab challenge. Bribery? Sure it is, hahaha.

I did have a poem in the last challenge, you know (Bones). :), and I've written a few dozen poems, but in the form of song lyrics. So they don't really meet the style of the modern poetry I see here. I've never kept up with the poetry scene. After browsing around here, I had to do some reading and learn the modern style rejects meter and rhyme. I mean, you've got a guy here who won third place in a High School talent show for a dramatic interp of The Raven, so I'm REALLY old fashioned when it comes to poetry. I'm more than willing to write one (or share one of my lyrics), but you have to promise not to laugh when it rhymes. LOL

I took your comment above about writing fiction to mean you were reticent to try longer fiction. I meant to be encouraging, and I apologize if I assumed the wrong thing.
 

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
No apologies needed :)

I did have a poem in the last challenge, you know (Bones). :), and I've written a few dozen poems, but in the form of song lyrics. So they don't really meet the style of the modern poetry I see here. I've never kept up with the poetry scene. After browsing around here, I had to do some reading and learn the modern style rejects meter and rhyme. I mean, you've got a guy here who won third place in a High School talent show for a dramatic interp of The Raven, so I'm REALLY old fashioned when it comes to poetry. I'm more than willing to write one (or share one of my lyrics), but you have to promise not to laugh when it rhymes. LOL

I took your comment above about writing fiction to mean you were reticent to try longer fiction. I meant to be encouraging, and I apologize if I assumed the wrong thing.
 

Foxee

Patron
Patron
If I can barge in I just want to say I love seeing people rib each other and encourage each other to try new things.

Just remember that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly until you learn it. :lone:

Darren, I've no doubt that if you suddenly decided that fiction was the way to go, you'd conquer that just as you've conquered poetry. Just don't stop writing your poetry because your pieces are of the cut-glass-and-crystal luminescent variety.

vranger: I'm like you poetry-wise I tend to think in rhyme. I also voted for your poem in the 'Bones' challenge.
 

PiP

Staff member
Co-Owner
I did have a poem in the last challenge, you know (Bones). :), and I've written a few dozen poems, but in the form of song lyrics. So they don't really meet the style of the modern poetry I see here. I've never kept up with the poetry scene. .
I much prefer poetry that rhymes. My favourite poet is Pam Ayres. That was driven out of me when I came here... ha..ha...
 

-xXx-

Financial Supporter
excellent choice on form!
reader connection points are dispersed throughout.
one artist (or agent of) negotiating with another regarding a central something they both value,
but see and value differently.

short business communiques juxtaposed with running personal commentary
casually reveal and develop each character.
mental image disparity of each by the other gradually amplifies through the reader's
(not the characters) privy viewpoint.
language choices (tone/voice) are well made for many readers and
lend themselves to the ultimate disclosure
of through-the-eyes-of-the-beholder
meets telephone-game.

both scope of "conflict" and leave-potential are well suited to the length parameter.
fun read.

best,
:)
 
Top