Writing Forums

Writing Forums is a privately-owned, community managed writing environment. We provide an unlimited opportunity for writers and poets of all abilities, to share their work and communicate with other writers and creative artists. We offer an experience that is safe, welcoming and friendly, regardless of your level of participation, knowledge or skill. There are several opportunities for writers to exchange tips, engage in discussions about techniques, and grow in your craft. You can also participate in forum competitions that are exciting and helpful in building your skill level. There's so much more for you to explore!

Can't Win For Losin' (1 Viewer)

Princesisto

Senior Member
Notes:

1. This is the second song from the "Caribbean Princess" concert 26 July 2025, in my novel manuscript (in progress) "The New Little Princess". I started introducing songs from the novel on the Poetry (English) and Translation (Spanish) fora. People seemed to like most of them. Now, in this new section, this is the right place for them. I am grateful for any comments/suggestions/reactions what you like and what you don't and why. I have found such contributions most helpful.

2. For background, The New Little Princess is a 9 year old British (English father, Scottish mother) girl who has been living with her family in Guatemala for 3 years. In June 2025, her father videoed her singing her original songs at her 9th birthday party, wearing a superreflective zirconium-steel birthday tiara which gave her that name. The video went viral as "Princess Party". "Caribbean Princess" is a second "videopack" on the new internet set up by the UN in 2024.

3. There is no music in this song except percussion. The Princess is on stage with the local Garifuna (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX6qWdvui74)bands in Livingston, Guatemala, who have every item of percussion imaginable: conga drums, snare drums, conch shells, shakers, etc. Imagine 20 people playing like that and that is the background of this song. The Princess calls it "a wall of drums". Plus, the Princess is wearing roller skates on stage and stamping her skates on to the stage with the beat when not singing. Actually, she is rapping rather than singing. The beat is anapaestic, like the start of Queen's "We Will Rock You" but it never changes through this song.

4. No great earthmoving message here: it is a child's day, dealing with the weather, trying and failing to fall in love, getting new clothes, getting told to shut up a lot and, if you're a child pop star, getting taxed to death or getting fleeced. "Get it on the transfer give it all back" refers to the World Bank's "world cashless society" started in 2021, where all transactions are done by SMS through World Bank accounts and there is no paper or coin money anymore.

Can’t Win For Losin'!

I run outside
But the rain comes down
Wait for a while
But the sun’s too hot
Wait for the night
But it’s just too dark
[Spoken] No way I’m gonna play outside!
[Pouts]
Can’t win for losin'!

I make a lot of money
But there’s too much tax
Get it from the transfer
Give it all back
Try to write my story
But forget the facts
Try to fall in love
But opposites attract

[Spoken] And when I find he's opposite …
Can’t win for losin'!

[Percussion solos – Princess stomps out the beat with her rollers on the stage like tap dancing then rolls out and dances with the audience – then back on stage for]​

Made a lot of money
But we all got robbed
Try to make a speech
And they say ‘Shut your gob’!
Just wanna run home and have a good sob

[Spoken] But I’m on a hydrofoil …
Can’t win for losin'!

Buy a new dress
But it just don’t fit
Spend the whole day
Tryin' to tailor it

Beautiful colours but it looks like shit
Can’t win for losin'!

And people come to me and say, Hey!
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: Yeah, sure.
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: Oh, yeah right!
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: Oh, come on!
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: [Music stops: shouted] Leave me!

[Percussion starts again]

Can’t win for losing [Princess repeats this line to the end, striking a different pose with each repetition]

END- Princess: 1,2,3,4, Right!
 
Last edited:

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
I like it, I can see and hear the band playing, and the girl dancing.
I don't know yet if I have critique, I need more time. Back later :)
 

Darren White

co-owner and admin
Staff member
Co-Owner
P.
Below a suggestion here and there in blue :)


Can’t Win For Losin'!

I run outside
But the rain comes down
Wait for a while
But the sun’s too hot
Wait for the night
But it’s just too dark
[Spoken] No way I’m gonna play outside! <-- I'm not gonna play outside[Pouts]
Can’t win for losin'!
[...]

Made a lot of money
But we all got robbed
Try to make a speech
And they say ‘Shut your gob’!
Just wanna run home and have a good sob

[Spoken] But I’m on a hydrofoil … <-- I know what a hydrofoil is, but I don't know what it suddenly does in the poem, it's suddenly there without context
Can’t win for losin'!

[...]

And people come to me and say, Hey!
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: Yeah, sure.
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: Oh, yeah right!
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: Oh, come on!
Band: Ain’t life wonderful? Princess: [Music stops: shouted] Leave me!

I like the part above :)
 

Princesisto

Senior Member
The world of 2025 is beating global warming. One way is that they stopped using jet planes in 2020. They use bullet trains on land and hydrofoils on the sea.

The Princess is on a hydrofoil and talkative as always, so her parents, or even maybe other passengers, tell her to shut up. She is embarrassed and a little resentful and wants to run home crying. But she's on a hydrofoil . . . Can't win for losin'!

This song has more of the science fiction of my novel than most others: the changes in transport, the World Bank's "cashless world society", the higher direct taxes (especially on higher incomes like the Princess' and her family's), and the more complex ways of committing fraud in a cashless society, are all there.

Thank you for reading and for your suggestions!

Your favourite part is also mine.

It's like Louis Armstrong sings "Wonderful World" and the Princess runs up, leaps and kicks him in the kneecaps.
 
Top